Quiet Razors
by The Sunny Days
Summary: "I'll be your Shrek if you just give me a chance to fight" Jasper moves to the sleepy town of Forks expecting a fresh start only to be drawn into old secrets and barely healed scars Bella would rather he left concealed. Full Summary Inside.
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone, I know it's been a while but I'm back with my newest fan fic. I hope that you do enjoy this one.

I'll post this disclaimer just this once and it applies for all subsequent chapters of this story.

Stephanie Meyer and not I, owns Twilight and all things Twilight related. I simply own this plot.

Full Summary: Jasper moves to the sleepy town of Forks, Washington expecting a fresh start from the demons that have plagued him ever since the incident in his home town of Texas only to be drawn inside the puzzling world of Bella Swan and the battle she faces every day and into the old secrets and barely healed scars that Bella would rather he left concealed.

Should he really let sleeping dogs lie this time though?

xXx

**Chapter One**

I walked into the school, my back pack in hand. I was early and the hallway was deserted except for the few stragglers whom like me wanted to avoid the crowds that come with arriving late. It was my first day and therefore by coming early I'd at least get to scope out the school and get a feel for things without the humiliation of walking in late to my period 1 class.

I found the office easily enough and walked in. A lady sitting behind the desk sat up, putting on her glasses as she did so. Her hair was red, bright but it was obvious from her dark roots it was not natural. She smiled at me and I glanced at her name tag to see she was 'Mrs Cope'

"Hello dear, how may I help you?" she asked, hands poised over the computer's keyboard.

"Hi, I'm Jasper Whitlock, I'm new here" I said, handing her a letter.

"Oh yes dear, here, this is your timetable and this is a slip you need to get signed by all your teachers and then you need to return it here at the end of the day. Your first class, History, is in the B block which you'll get to if you leave here, turn left and walk straight ahead. Its room 5" she said smiling.

I thanked her and left hoping to find my locker first. Since I'd been in there, the hallways had filled up considerably with people talking excitedly to their friends who they'd probably seen throughout the winter break. I walked past a group of girls and watched as their eyes widened and their mouths dropped open, more from the surprise of a new student than my looks.

Though my looks weren't that bad.

I was tall with curly, sandy blonde hair. I had blue eyes and tanned skin most likely due to my living in Texas all my life. I had a scar just above my left eyebrow due to a horse riding accident when I was twelve as well as a few more scars here and there from various accidents and then there was the one on my arm. It stretched from the wrist of my right arm and was about 6 inches long. It was rough, raised and a dark shade of pink having been a really deep cut that took a long while to heal.

A frown formed on my face thinking about the accident that caused it, but I sighed shaking my head. This wasn't the kind of place to be thinking about things like that. I noticed some other people watching me as I walked, yeah; this really wasn't the right place to be thinking about things like this.

Reaching my locker, I noticed the combination for my locker written on the top of the sheet Mrs Cope had given me and I used the combination and opened the locker, placing my lunch inside and leaving any unnecessary books. I shut my locker and turned around only to see that more people had turned to watch me as well. Irritation rushed through me like a vicious kind of burning; I hated being stared at as though I were some kind of freak to be watched, some kind of spectacle.

I hurriedly walked down the hallway to the office colliding with some girl who had been coming out of it.

I steadied her and couldn't help but notice how small she was as I held her. Her head was down so I didn't see her face but I turned around and as I walked past her I peeked over my shoulder only to see she had stopped to watch me.

Her eyes were brown as was her hair. No that's not right; that made her seem plain and that was something she most definitely wasn't, there was just something about her that was captivating to me and was just pulling me towards me towards her like an invisible force, her hair was more of a mahogany kind of colour and her eyes were like melted chocolate framed with thick black eyelashes. Her lips looked as though she was pouting them but regardless, they looked soft, pink and inviting, but what really got me was the blush that appeared on her cheeks. It was gorgeously pink and matched her lips perfectly.

Plus she smelt like strawberries. Strawberries were my favourite fruit.

I kept my head facing straight ahead and walked to my class and getting there early. I walked up to the teacher and introduced myself before giving him my slip to sign and taking a seat at the back of the class. I put my books on the opposite side of the table making it clear that I wanted to be alone and brought a book to read until class started.

Around 10 minutes later, the shrill sound of a bell was heard and I watched as the sound of footsteps increased and students filter in. I tried my best to ignore the curious stares I received from the others and continued reading until I heard the teacher call the class to attention.

"Hello everyone, I'm sure you all had a very productive and eventful winter break, but now your back in school and I expect you to try hard. Vacation is over. I would also like to inform you that we have a new student, Jasper Whitlock who has transferred here from…" he trailed off, looking at me expectantly.

"Texas sir" I said respectfully adding a drawl to my words. I immediately became aware of the seductive smiled many of the girls were throwing my way as well as the glares from the boys, as a result. I considered throwing out a wink but decided against it, it was my first day and I didn't want to get hated by everyone though it didn't bother me either way. It was just easier to be friends with people or at least civil with them.

"Texas, of course. Jasper why don't you tell us a little about yourself or your family. Any interests and what not, please stand up" He said sitting behind the desk. I tried to conceal the scowl that wanted to make its presence known and stood up as the teacher asked.

"My name is Jasper Whitlock; I transferred here from Houston, Texas. I like sports and I play the guitar" I said sitting back down.

"Thank you for that" the teacher said, before moving on with the lesson. Basically, he told us about the syllabus for the year, the kinds of things we'd be studying and what kinds of essays we'd be looking at doing, he also made sure to tell everyone that by the end of the week he would have a seating plan in place for everyone. The teacher talked us through the expectations he had of us before pretty much giving us a free lesson with friends moving to sit and talk next to each other.

I began reading again; officially stopping anyone who would have dared come speak to me but that didn't mean they didn't try. I just politely smiled at they got the message and left.

This is how it was for pretty much the next couple of lessons, including gym; the teacher would make me talk to the class then tell us about their expectations of us. In art the teacher let us draw and begin decorating our work spaces for the semester, so I got out my sketch pad and began drawing.

For some reason though, I couldn't focus on drawing any one thing for any period of time, I'd start a piece and then leave it, that is until I looked out the window and then all of a sudden my mind was assaulted with images of that girl from this morning. Who was she?

My mind raced with questions as my hand moved and began drawing and I glanced down and was surprised to see that I'd drawn her, though my drawing certainly didn't do her justice. She was beautiful I knew that and that fleeting glimpse I caught of her definitely wasn't enough for me to base a drawing off of but still I couldn't put my finger on it but it was just missing something. Then again, a picture can't capture everything can it?

It couldn't capture the way her hair fell wispily around her shoulders or the way her scarlet blush slid across her skin like ink on paper. But by all means it couldn't capture her eyes, they looked deep and thoughtful but were marred by the bruising of deep purple bags beneath her eyes and I wondered briefly what could have been keeping her up so late.

It was strange; I didn't even know this girl except really for the fact that she had brown eyes and attended this school. So why was it, that she was haunting my thoughts?

It wasn't long until the bell rang signalling lunch. I waited until the majority of the class had rushed out, eager to get to lunch and talk to their friends before I got up and began making my way towards the door.

Obviously, these girls had been waiting to corner me because I had just reached the door before I was stopped by two girls. One had blonde hair, whilst the other one was a brunette. They both smiled at me, making me feel nauseated and slightly terrified because of the way they were not only staring at me but the fact that they had made the effort to actually corner me.

"Hi, I'm Lauren and this is Jessica" said the blonde gesturing at the brunette. "You know since you're new, we like figured you wouldn't know anyone else and figured that we'd like take it upon ourselves to like show you around, help you meet the right people and _help_you out" she said winking and licking her lips afterwards.

"Yeah 'cause your like new" Jessica said thinking she was adding her two cents, when she'd only repeated what Lauren had said. She then folded her arms tightly and pushed her chest out, I had a feeling that the word 'subtlety' wasn't in any of their dictionaries.

I smiled politely at them and began making my escape " That's very nice of you ladies but I'm sure I'll be fine" I saw them about to protest "However if I do need help with _anything_you'll be the first two I'll call" I said winking at them and walking out the class.

I felt oddly dirty from talking to them and made up my mind to shower when I got home to get the dirt off of me.

I made my way down the hallway to my locker keeping my eyes out for the girl from earlier but I couldn't seem to see her anywhere. I thought back to my earlier classes but I didn't seem to remember seeing her in any of them, then again I wasn't paying too much attention to any of the other students in the class so maybe it was possible that I missed her or maybe I had possibly imagined her.

I got to my locker, put my books away and grabbed my lunch. I considered going to the cafeteria but after seeing Lauren and Jessica walking in there after giving me an obviously practised sexy stare, I decided against it and decided to go into the library. I figured that at this time, it would most likely be empty.

I pushed open the heavy, wooden door and walked in. As I predicted the library was pretty much empty, the librarian behind the desk was typing quickly on her computer, pushing her glasses up her nose every couple of minutes.

I found a seat in the corner of the library that was surrounded by other bookshelves; it was a perfectly secluded area, just like I liked it. I got out my sandwich and book and began eating and reading. I ignored the sound of footsteps arriving until I heard them stop nearby. I glanced up only to see a girl through the cracks in the books sitting down. I leaned forward and peeked through and as the girl turned her head to the side I saw her, the girl from earlier.

I sat back surprised, for a while I had begun to believe that she was only a figment of my imagination but now seeing her, I couldn't help but feel this strange pull to her, as though I needed to speak to her.

I sat back contemplating what to do and how to go about this before I decided that it would be best to simply face this head on.

I quickly put away my lunch and book and stood up walking casually around to where she was and sat down in the chair opposite to her. I could feel her stare and her obvious surprise but I simply got out my sandwich and began eating my sandwich again.

It was silent for a moment or two and after realising that she wasn't going to say anything, I took it upon myself to start the conversation between the two of us.

"Hi, I'm Jasper Whitlock, I just moved here and you are?" I looked at her and noticed her eyes were focused on the book I had just put down.

"All Quiet On The Western Front?" she said surprised. Her voice was soft and mild but I liked hearing it, it was sweet.

"You sound surprised" I stated raising my eyebrows at her, she blushed looking down. Yeah, I really liked that blush.

"Well, it's not a book I would expect a lot of people in this school to know about or even read" she said.

"I'm not like most people" I paused "Have you read it?" I asked. All Quiet On The Western Front was a book I had read many times before, mostly due to my love of History.

"Yes, it was a good book, really invigorating and moving" she said, glancing at me through her eye lashes, though not intentional on her part, I couldn't help but feel my heart stop for a second. She looked strangely seductive at that moment. Her skin was pale, really pale but it had a sort of creamy look to it, a soft one too. I had a strange urge to bite her cheeks.

"I agree, you know, you still haven't told me your name yet" I remarked casually.

"Oh, well its Bella, Bella Swan and I already knew your name, everyone's talking about you" she said, smiling at me shyly.

I groaned and she smiled wider. "Guess I shouldn't have moved to a place as small as Forks, huh?"

"I guess" she picked up her book and began reading again and as she did so, I glanced at the title of her book 'Wuthering Heights' the book looked worn out, as though she'd read it a lot. I picked up my book to follow suit but ended up wanting to talk to her some more.

"What lessons do you have?" I asked. She put down her book at looked at me confused.

"Umm, well Gym, History, Spanish-"

"History?" I repeated surprised "When?"

"First period" she said.

"That means you're in my class then"

"Yeah, I saw you, you were sat at the back reading and I was trying to figure out what" her cheeks turned a surprising shade of red, most likely due to her confession of staring at me.

"Oh, well…" I trailed off awkwardly.

"Can I ask you something?" she whispered suddenly. I glanced at her and noticed she was fidgeting with the zip of her jacket.

"You just did but sure" her lips twitched at that.

"Why are you talking to me?" Her question blew me. What was that supposed to mean? Why wouldn't I talk to her?

"What do you mean?" I asked.

She hesitated a little but began "You're new and you have a chance to be part of the in crowd, to be popular. I heard Jessica and Lauren talking about you. You fit in, you have a chance to belong, I'm a freak and if you're seen talking to me they'll label you one too and believe me when I say that it's not a lot of fun. It's quite miserable actually and sometimes lonely"

My eyes widened and I slumped back in my seat at her words. _What the hell?_

"Wait, what? A freak but…. Bella can you hear yourself? I mean, really are you listening to the words coming out of your mouth"

"I know what I'm saying Jasper, people here are mean, High School is rough and you, you have this pass to be able to go through High School peacefully and finish with good memories and with people liking you. That's why I'm telling you this, that's why I'm warning you. You don't want to end up like me."

She looked up and I saw unshed tears in her eyes. The bell rung and I watched as she put her things away and hurried out the library despite the fact that I called out for her to stop. I kept my eyes on her until the heavy doors slammed shut echoing through the library.

How could she just go away like that? After laying all that heavy stuff on me? I wondered briefly what kind of a school I had got myself into. Where girls either stalk the new guy or warn him away from her.

Sighing, I gathered my things and walked out. As I passed by a bin, I threw away my mostly uneaten sandwich and went to my next class. I kept an eye out for Bella for the rest of the day but didn't see her again until study hall at the end of the day.

We both reached the door at the same time. I tried to speak to her but she hurried in and found a seat at the front of the class, in clear view of the teacher's desk. I began following her but was stopped as Lauren and Jessica appeared on either side of me and began leading me to a group of people on the opposite side of the room to Bella.

I sat down in the seat they pointed out to me and watched as they began introducing me to a group of people.

"This is Mike, that's Eric, Tyler and you know me and Jess from earlier" Lauren said pointing at every in turn and smiling brightly at me.

"Hey" I said to the people and listened to their chorus of greetings.

"So I hear your into sports" Mike began "What kind? I personally play soccer and football"

"Well, I prefer more outdoor sports but yeah soccer and football's cool"

"We're cheerleaders" Jessica squealed enthusiastically.

"Yeah" Lauren agreed "And football seasons starting up soon so we'll be out on the field for practice"

"You should try out for the team Jasper" Jessica added biting her lip.

"We'd be more than happy to cheer you- and the rest of the team on"

"Yeah we're definitely go team and you know, we can show you some of our moves, we're really flexible"

"What's best though is that cheerleading isn't really a sport or anything like that. Jasper to be honest, I love football but one thing I love more than it are hot as fuck babes in short skirts dancing and touching themselves just for me, which is basically all that cheerleading is, so yeah, go team." Eric said nodding his head as though he were imagining it and pumping his fist in the air.

Tyler groaned and I saw a disgusted look flash across his face before speaking "You do realise that a) Cheerleading is actually sport that girls _and_ boys can do b) somehow you've made the cheerleading teams' practices sound like the set of some porno and c) I know cheerleaders that could snap you in two, my sister being one of them"

"Dude, that's harsh, then again I wouldn't mind if your sister snapped me in two, she's hot" Eric said licking his lips

"That's disgusting Eric" Jessica said.

"Yeah, I swear your sisters only, like, 14 Tyler" Lauren added.

"She's twelve and _'dude_' you better stay away from my sister now that I know how you've been thinking about her"

"I'm not going to do anything" Eric protested "yet"

"You're fucked up dude" Mike said "I mean that shit's just perverted, she isn't even legal, and that's practically paedophilia you know"

"You guys are acting like I'm trying it on, I simply mean to say that Tyler's sister is a smoking-"

"Look who it is" Mike whispered looking at the door. I looked as well and was immediately stunned as I realised that was what the rest of the class was doing as well. In walked a group of people, there was a tall burly looking guy, man, person with short brown hair and next to him stood a lanky boy with bronze looking hair that was messy and looked like he'd just woken up. There was a short pixie looking girl, with short, spiky black hair who bounced smilingly and beside her was-

"Lil" I said speaking out loud. Her head shot towards me before a smile engulfed her face. Her golden hair bounced around as she walked in my direction and her friends stared confused but as she said my name understanding flooded their features.

"Jasper" she whispered bending down, hugging me and kissing me on the cheek. Mike stared enviously at me as she did so. I wiped at my cheek feeling the stickiness of her lip gloss coat my fingers but I couldn't help but smile at her antics.

"Come" she said, grabbing my arm and leading me to where her friends had sat down. "Guys this is Jasper, remember I told you about him"

"How could I forget?" the pixie girl chirped at me. "My full name's Mary-Alice Brandon-Cullen but that's a mouthful so just call me Alice Cullen not Mary-Alice because if you do, I just might have to kill you" she said menacingly, smiling still. She was still kind of bouncing slightly as well and I briefly wondered if perhaps she was on some kind of drug like speed or something.

"I'm Emmett" said the burly guy, giving me a nod. I nodded back. So he was the guy Lil had been telling me about. "And that sulking emo over there is Eddie"

"Edward" the boy hissed looking at Emmett as he did so before facing me. "I'm Edward" he said smiling slightly at me.

"Hey" I said again. I sat down in a seat and glanced over at Lauren and Jessica's group. The girls were scowling; as were Eric and Mike but when Jessica and Lauren noticed me looking they began smiling and winking again.

"Ugh" I heard Lil say beside me "Can you believe those girls? Have they been after you like that all day Jasper? In fact don't worry I can already guess that answer"

"I know" Alice chirped sitting on Lil's desk "They have no shame whatsoever, I mean come on, they're practically saying 'Give me a smile and I'll give it to you however and whenever you want' it's like have some respect for your body"

"It's weird though" Emmett began "You know since they haven't always been like that-"

"People change" Alice bit out, glaring slightly at the front of the room

Emmett paused then continued "but you guys should cut them some slack, I mean can you blame them, you're pretty intimidating"

"And I like that people think I'm intimidating, it's stops them from stepping out of line. I mean right now they're probably bitching about me but if say I said to Lauren 'Let's hang out after school but don't tell Jessica' you'll bet she won't tell Jessica"

"Rosalie, do you really like the fact that they fear you?" Edward asked coming into the conversation.

"Why shouldn't she?" Alice imputed. "There's nothing wrong with a healthy amount of fear Edward"

"Yeah, like I said it stops them from stepping out of line"

"What like Bella?" he continued. My ears perked up at this. What did Bella do? And how did she step out of line?

"Edward whatever Bella got she deserved" Alice said "Anyway-"

At this the teacher walked in and called the class to attention, everyone sat down in their seats and I sighed at having missed an opportunity to find out more about her. What she said in the library chilled me to the core. What had happened to her?

For the rest of the lesson Bella was not mentioned once and each time I turned around to look at her, her head was buried in her book. The teacher left everyone alone for the most part and at one point left the class but soon enough it was over.

I got my things together really slowly and watched as Bella left the class, after that I sped up and hurried after her, however I missed her and simply had to watch as she climbed into an antique truck that thundered as she switched it on and she glanced up, our eyes meeting before she put her hands on the wheel and drove out the parking lot.

I turned, going back into the school to quickly hand in my slip and waited as Mrs Cope did whatever she needed to do with it.

"I hope you enjoyed your first day Jasper, this really is a lovely school and you'll really enjoy it here" she winked as though letting me in on some secret and I smiled politely at her and made my way to the front doors of the school.

I sighed and pulled on my hood on as the wind blew quickly around me. Glancing around, I began trudging through the car park in the direction of my car. I looked behind me to see Lil and her friends getting into a Jeep but she caught my eye as she did so and smiled lightly at me. I got my keys out, unlocked the door and climbed in my car to head home, ignoring the calls and frantic waves from Jessica and Lauren to hang around for a bit. I had a lot to consider.

As I turned onto my street I decided to detour and go for a drive so I kept on driving and drove past my house, I wasn't sure where I was going but I was sure it would be pretty easy to find my way around a place as small as Forks was.

I turned down another street and then I saw it, the red truck. I parked down the road to the house. It was a quaint little house, the paint was peeling in some places but still it was a nice place to live. Beside a window there was a massive tree and I could just imagine Bella sneaking out but then she didn't seem like the kind of girl to do that.

After a few moments though, I saw her as she came to the window, she looked out and I ducked down but I was pretty sure that she still wouldn't have been able to see me regardless. After a few minutes I saw her walk away and I breathed a sigh of relief as I turned the car around and headed home.

I get home soon enough and go to my room. I chuck my bag on the ground and pull some clothes from my wardrobe before heading to my bathroom for a quick shower as I promised myself earlier. The water felt good on my skin, soothing almost and I was glad, especially after the day I'd had.

As I go downstairs, I hear the sound of Lil and her friends and consider going back upstairs but it's too late. Alice has already seen me and she grabs my hand and pulls me into the living room and forces me into a seat next to her.

"I think she was amazing in Roman Holiday; what do you think Alice?" Lil asked her.

"I totally agree with you, I just wish they got together in the end, then again, I'm just a sucker for happily ever after's" she paused smiling "Arethusa rose from her couch of snows in the Acroceraunian mountains" Alice recited a glaze in her eyes.

"Rose, Al, we get it, you love Audrey Hepburn, new subject" Emmett stated. He seemed like a pretty easy going guy from what I could see but then again you should never judge a book by its cover.

"So Jasper how was your first day at school?" Alice asked turning to face me. She stared wide eyed at me and reminded me of a child in kindergarten, eager and ready to learn.

"It was okay, I guess" I said shrugging.

"What subjects do you have?"

"History, Gym, Art-"

"Art, Art! I love drawing, not people but clothes. I make clothes too, it's my passion"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I can't wait till I'm older, I'll have my own boutique, which I'll then open more of across America and then Europe and I'll be married to a great guy and I'll have a studio apartment that I'll design perfectly" she sighed lost in her dreams of the future.

"We didn't see you at lunch, where were you?" Lil asked concerned.

"I was around"

"Well tomorrow, you have to eat lunch with us, okay Jasper?" Lil pleaded. I was getting ready to agree when I remembered Bella, if I didn't speak to her at lunch, then when would I have a chance to speak to her because it seemed in class she'd only avoid me.

I'd only met her today and already she had me running in circles with all of those ominous words she'd said to me and now that I've heard more about her, I just keep getting more and more intrigued.

"Hey Jasper, football seasons starting soon. Rose said you play, right?" Emmett asked.

"Err, yeah" I said, rubbing my hand on the back of my neck.

"You should join the team you know, we could use a few good players, I mean I'm not saying the guys aren't good but a lot of them tend to lose their concentration and they're urge to win, hopefully a couple of other guys will join up you know and then they'll start taking it seriously once their positions are threatened" Emmett leaned back in the chair after this, picking up his can of coke and gulping it down.

"Are you surprised though? When you have cheerleading and practise happening at the same time, the only time the guys will really be motivated to do anything is when the girls are looking at them and even then they just start fighting each other" Edward said speaking up from where he was sat "To be honest Emmett, if you want anything done, what you need to do is every time they lose concentration a lap of the field or drills or maybe benching them during a game 'cause every guy hates being benched"

"He's right Emmett, you need to be tougher on them, if I was the captain of your team I'd run it like a military, I mean have you not seen what I do to my girls and what I expect them to be doing out of training, you need to push them or they'll take advantage"

"Yeah, I'm meeting with coach tomorrow to go over training ideas and that but it should be starting next week and yeah Jasper trials will be starting as well so you should try out. I'll put in a good word for you"

"Thanks man" I was truly grateful, I was glad Lil had such good friends.

After a couple of hours they left, we had dinner and I went up to my room. I got my guitar out and strummed a few songs to distract my brain and also because in the past playing helped relax me but for some reason tonight, it just didn't work.

I picked up my back pack and my sketch book slipped out. I picked it up and looked at my drawing of Bella, I got my pencil and got ready to add to it, change it or get rid of it yet I just couldn't and I didn't know why.

I groaned and flopped back on my bed. I thought through my day and how despite moving to Forks to help simplify my life I'd just managed to make it ten times more complicated than it was before. I sent a quick prayer up to God to sort my life out before I leaned over and switched off my lamp, yet I still could not sleep.

I gazed out the window and as I fell asleep I could hear Bella's haunting voice in my ears as she said _'You don't want to end up like me'_

What happened to her?

xXx

Thus ends chapter 1, so what do you guys think? Don't forget to hit that little button at the bottom of the screen.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, chapter 2 is now up people, enjoy!

xXx

**Chapter Two**

Once again I was in school bright and early, but this time I was hoping to catch Bella before class. I knew that she was in my History lesson but after how she avoided me when I tried to meet her in class, I decided that it would be best to corner her in the morning.

The hallway was pretty much empty, so I made my way to the library hoping against hope that she was where she was yesterday. The weather was grey and it had started drizzling outside, but as I turned around the book shelf there was Bella nose deep in a book. This time it was 'Pride and Prejudice' and much like her book yesterday it was worn and weathered with use.

I sat down opposite her and like yesterday she put down her book surprised to see me but she smiled and pushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

"Hey" she said softly.

"Hey" I said in reply. We sat in silence for a few moments just looking at each other before Bella began fidgeting.

"I guess you're not really one to heed warnings, are you?"

"No, I guess I'm not" I said leaning back.

"Ok"

"So the weather's pretty dull today"

After saying that I practically slapped myself round the head, I mean the weather come on, I could do better than that.

"Yeah I guess, but then again this is Forks, the weather's pretty much always dull and rainy, not like Texas right?"

"Yeah, not like Texas"

"Was it always hot then?"

"Yeah pretty much I guess"

"Sounds nice"

"It was"

"It must have been hard for you to move here of all places then"

"You'd think that, but it was a lot easier than I thought it'd be" I was being honest as I said that, leaving Texas, though hard, was probably the best thing I could have done at this point. It was too hard to continue living there.

After a moment Bella giggled and at first I wondered why until I realised that we were really having a conversation about the weather.

I racked my head thinking about what girls liked to talk about and remembered how Lil and Alice were fawning over Audrey Hepburn the day before.

"Do you like Audrey Hepburn?" I asked quickly.

"Huh?"

"I said do you like Audrey Hepburn?" I repeated slower.

"Umm, yeah, she's alright I guess"

"What movie do you like best?" I asked. She glanced at me amused before focusing her eyes on her hands again.

"Umm, maybe Breakfast at Tiffany's or Roman Holiday-"

"Yeah Arethusa in the Acroceraunian mountains or something" I said awkwardly.

"Arethusa rose from her couch of snows in the Acroceraunian mountains" she said correcting me.

"Yeah, Keats right"

"No, Shelley"

"No it's Keats"

"Shelley"

"Keats"

"Shelley"

"Keats" I stated frustrated.

"Jasper its Shelley, you know in the movie Joe and Ann have this exact same argument with Joe saying it was Shelley and Ann saying it was Keats"

"Oh, well, whatever" I said running a hand through my hair. At least I knew that Bella had brains unlike some of the other girls I'd met in this school.

"Roman Holidays a really good movie though, I love it even though the ending's sad but there are parts that are just hilarious"

"Yeah?" I asked smiling. It was nice to see Bella like this, excited over something.

"Yeah and there's this poem she says, when they first met, I love it"

"Who is it by?"

"Umm, well I assume it's by the writer of the script because his work was smuggled into America you see, so it would make sense for him to put one of his poems in it"

"Will you recite it for me?"

Bella looked at me surprised before blushing. I realised that she did that a lot.

"Umm, okay. If I were dead and buried and I heard your voice. Beneath the sod my heart of dust would still rejoice"

"It's nice"

"Yeah, I know. What kind of movies do you like?"

"Horror, action, comedies, basically I like any movie that can hold my attention. I'm guessing you like romance right?"

"Yeah, I guess I'm a sucker for happily ever after's and true love because I doubt I'm going to see that in real life"

After that there was an awkward silence as we both wondered what to say next. I watched as Bella contemplated something, biting her lip as she did. It was odd, I found it strangely alluring despite the innocence of it.

"So…" she began awkwardly.

"Yeah"

"Well, umm" she blushed looking down "How do you know Rosalie?"

"What?"

"I mean…I err, I don't mean to pry or anything it's just that yesterday, she acted like she knew you, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to" she stammered out, her cheeks darkened as she blushed a deeper shade of red.

"Oh, it's okay, really" I said smiling at her "She's my sister"

If I was expecting Bella to react, the reaction she gave me was definitely what I would have expected it to be, as her head shot up in surprise and her mouth dropped open in a wide 'o' shape.

"What? Oh…my...gosh, oh my gosh, I have to go, Jasper, I can't…" she grabbed her books and ran out the library once again leaving me dumbfounded.

The bell rang and I began making my way to my History lesson, thinking of what I knew so far. Bella had already reached the class and had sat in the front row, right in front of the teacher, most likely to stop me or anyone sitting near her.

I sighed and walked to the back, noticing how she didn't even glance my way as I entered. The teacher hadn't made a seating plan but at least this time we did some actual work. Since in my last school I was in an advanced set of History, I had already covered most of this years' syllabus therefore I figured I wouldn't have to work too hard as History came quite easy for me.

As class finished, I watched as Bella packed up her things and rushed out of class before most people. During the lesson I'd watched her, and for the most part she'd kept her head down and worked quickly. I doubted that I had ever met any person as studious as her before but then again I had never met anyone like _her_ before.

As I entered the hallway and got caught up in the mass of people going to and from lessons, it was no surprise that I ended up running into Alice of all people. She was unnaturally short however so I didn't blame myself too much.

"Jasper" she squealed. "Where are you going in such a rush?"

"Umm class" I answered uncertainly.

"Oh yeah, duh" she giggled hitting her head "But I mean what class?"

"English"

"Really, me too? How did I not see you yesterday? I'm usually quite observant" she said grabbing my arm and pulling me in the direction of class. As we walked there she chattered on about nonsensical things like clothes and what not so for the most part I was able to tune her out. I looked around the lesson and was sad not to see Bella anywhere but I figured if her reaction this morning was anything to go by, she'd try and avoid me.

Alice pulled me into a seat next to her which is where I remained for the rest of the lesson. Luckily, I had Gym next and she had Textiles or something so we parted ways.

Again we didn't actually do any sports, simply listened to Coach go on and on about trying out for teams and how it's participation that's important.

As he spoke though I thought over what I had found out so far. Obviously according to Edward Bella had done something 'stepped out of line' but how? But most importantly why did she react that way after finding out that I was Lil's brother? What did Lil do to her? I mean I knew she could be a little hard sometimes and a bitch but the shock and the look of almost fear that was on Bella's face…..it just didn't make any sense.

I eagerly await Art because after Art is lunch and at lunch I get to see Bella. I get to find answers to questions. My lessons fly by, I see Emmett and Edward and Lil as I leave Art and they convince me to come to the café with them.

I try to decline but they make me go, so that's why I'm sat with them and bunch of other people I don't care about as they discuss things I don't care about and the one person who I so desperately want to find out about is hidden away in the library amongst the books with answers to secrets, I want to know about.

Bored beyond my mind I'm pulling apart my sandwich that is until I hear her name being mentioned and my hands immediately still and the piece of bread falls from between my fingers.

"I know she's so weird" I hear Jessica say, leaning over to talk to Lil who doesn't respond.

"She dresses like a freak as well, I mean have you seen her clothes, what girl in her right mind would wear flannel shirts with combat boots, I mean talk about a big no-no" Lauren added smiling. I frowned wondering what they had against Bella.

"Yeah it's like Finding Emo"

"Yeah if I had a life as depressing as hers I'd probably go emo too"

"I wouldn't be surprised if she was a cutter or something or if she tried to kill herself, you know, cause she's always in the hospital for one thing or another"

"Bella's clumsy though, she's been that way for as long as I can remember" Tyler said taking a bite of his pizza.

"You think she cuts?" Mike asked surprised.

"Well, duh, she's always wearing long shirts and everything" Jessica said flicking her hair over her shoulder.

I looked over at Lil and her friends and couldn't help notice the lack of their interest in their conversation and how they were mostly just playing around with their food with what looked like sad expressions on their face except for Alice who seemed to be glaring.

"Just because someone wears long shirts doesn't mean she cuts or anything" Tyler said adding to the conversation "Plus there's nothing wrong with flannel shirts or combat boots"

"Exactly, I happen to find that Rose looks especially sexy in combat boots and flannel shirts" Emmet said grinning at Lil, who smirked back at him.

"Oh yeah, I mean, what we meant was that it looks bad on her because she's so not pretty like Rose is" Lauren stammered.

"Rose?" Lil asked raising her eyebrow at them.

"Rosalie is what she meant to say, that she's not pretty, not like you Rosalie" Jessica hurriedly said.

"Yeah not like you"

"I think we get the point" another girl bit out. She had strawberry blonde hair that she kept in a plait.

"Ok Tanya" Lauren replied taking a sip out of her bottle of her water "I just mean that what she did, what she caused this school was just…" she sighed dramatically.

"And the fact that she had the nerve to show her face around here afterwards, I mean come on, have some shame" Jessica added smarmily. The two of them seemed to have some kind of tag team thing going on.

"Wow shame Jessica, don't you think that your one to talk" I looked up wondering who said that and saw a girl standing beside the table. She had long, light brown hair and wore glasses. She was pretty but not in a screamingly obvious way. I'd noticed her before, in my English class, she was quite quiet so I figured that she must have been Bella's friend or something if she was going to stand up for her like that.

"Angela, why don't you just go and like bury your nose in some book or better yet go run off with your pathetic friend Bella and your loser boyfriend Ben, rather than talking to us"

"Yeah, sometimes I can't believe that someone that looks like me and them" Lauren said gesturing to herself and the others "actually breathe the same air as someone. Like. You."

"You know I was thinking just the same thing, every time I'm around you or speak to you I swear I lose 10 IQ points" and with that final statement Angela walked over to a table in the corner that had a boy on it.

"That girl!" Lauren screeched.

"Seriously Lauren, Why don't you just get over it? It's not like it even had anything to do with you" Tanya said examining her nails.

"Tanya I have this thing called team spirit, therefore if it involves the team it involves me" she smirked at that and I could have sworn I heard her mutter under her breath 'It involves me more than you think'

"Hey Lil, I'm going to go, I have to umm meet a teacher" I said making up some excuse. She smiled and everyone said goodbye as I dumped my tray and made my way to the library.

The library was once again quiet and empty. I walked over to where Bella was sat and stood in front of her, hoping that she'd look at me.

She didn't.

So I took her book from her and sat down.

That got her attention.

"Jasper, what are you doing?" she asked frustrated.

"Just sitting down, in the library, enjoying my lunch. What are you doing Bella?"

"Well I was enjoying my lunch until some jackass took my book" she snarled.

"Obviously you must have done something to warrant him doing that"

"Nope, can't think of a thing" she said shaking her head.

"Any way he sounds like a swell guy"

"Really?"

"Yeah, he must really care to be going through the effort of taking your back just to get you to talk to him"

"Care for me? He doesn't know me"

"Well maybe he wants to but for some reason you keep on shutting him out"

"And did he not think that might be for a reason"

"Maybe he doesn't know what to think because you have him running in circles with all your cryptic sayings" I sighed sitting down.

"Maybe your right, I think I owe him an apology" she said looking at me sadly.

"You think?" I asked incredulously.

"Okay, Jasper I'm sorry. You didn't deserve me running off like that without an explanation at least"

"It's okay"

"No it isn't, I shouldn't have freaked out like that, she's your sister, big deal" she shrugged.

I so badly wanted to ask her why she was freaked out but I doubted that she'd answer the question.

"Bella, we're friends right?" I asked hesitantly.

"I, I don't know to be honest. No, no" she frowned at the table "I mean are you sure, do you actually realise what it means if you were my friend? You've been here long enough, well two days and you must have realised by now that a lot of people hate me and that they tend to hate people who associate with me as well"

"Yeah I kind of got that vibe from some people"

"Lauren and Jessica, right?" she smiled slightly.

"Yeah" I leaned back in my chair.

"Did they tell you why?" she asked hesitantly. I looked at her and noticed that she had averted her eyes from me.

"No"

It wasn't hard to miss the look of relief on her face and I wondered why she didn't want _me_to know when apparently lots of other people already knew and could probably tell me at any point. I remembered what they'd said earlier and looked at her wrists and seeing whether they were bandaged or anything, then again people who really cut wouldn't go for somewhere as obvious as their wrists, they'd go for somewhere like their stomachs or their thighs or something.

"Ok, well I guess that we're friends then until you find out and hate me like everyone else or you know not hate me just socially shun me"

"Bella, I'm not like that, I'm not going to judge you just because of what someone else says"

"I'd…I'd like to believe you, I really would" she began, her voice caught "But I'd believed that about a whole lot of other people you know and they just couldn't, they judged me regardless and I'm talking about the people who were supposed to be my friends" a tear trailed down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away "In a way I guess it was a blessing though because now at least, I know who I can depend on and who my real friends are, even though I can count them on one hand" she laughed a little.

"You know what they say though, it's better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you're not"

"That's the thing though Jasper, I'm hated for what I'm not and to be honest in some ways, I'm glad that people don't talk to me, I like my privacy but I just wish that, that the people I considered my friends would at least trust me enough to find out the truth or something, I don't even know why I'm thinking about this" she went on "I haven't in months"

"Oh, well I got another saying. I'd rather have a couple of real friends than hundreds of fake ones"

"I like that one better" she whispered smiling at me.

The bell rang and we got our things together.

"What do you have next lesson?" I heard myself ask her. She looked at me in surprise before smiling and shaking her head.

"Spanish"

"Can I walk you?"

She looked at me hesitantly before gently laying her hand on my arm. I felt sparks running through me beginning from where her hand was. "You're a good guy Jasper, do you know that? But you've been here two days and you're probably getting enough attention without hanging out with the social outcast that is me"

"Ok" I answered slightly disappointed.

"Maybe next time" she suggested shyly and I smiled at that.

"Next time then"

Bella left the library first and I followed her after a couple of minutes. I couldn't help but feel as if we had begun some kind of illicit affair or something like that. It was strange but I liked it. This was definitely the beginning of a beautiful friendship, now all that was left was for me to figure out why the hell people hated Bella so much.

I made my way through the next couple of lessons, meeting and talking to a few other people mostly due to Lil and her friends being quite popular in the school. I kept my eye out for Bella's friend Angela, she seemed like a nice girl and people didn't seem to really dislike her except for a few people, mainly the obvious.

Study hall rolled around and once again Bella was sat at the front of the class reading or working, I couldn't tell. This time I was sat at the back of the class with Lil and her friends except a couple of other people had milled around as well. The teacher had announced that he would be gone for the lesson and asked us to behave and actually do some work though I doubted that'd actually happen.

Alice spoke first "So Emmett; how did the meeting go with the coach?"

"Actually it went really well, Riley was there as well 'cause he's the Co-captain and everything but we discussed practice, like you said we made it harder and everything, drills, laps, weights the works and the best thing about it is that we won't always be out on the field, we'll be in the gym as well so at least the guys won't get distracted" Emmett said grinning.

"I was talking to Coach as well about cheerleading and everything and we were going to go in the gym as well so maybe we could do alternate days like when you're out on the field, we're in the gym but obviously we'll have to deal with the problem of people getting distracted when we're out there but believe me, if the girls thought I was hard on them last year, they don't even want to know what I've got planned for this time" Lil said smiling at Emmett.

"Baby I love it when you get all dictator like, seriously, Rosie in control is _hot_"

"Eww, Emmett" Alice squealed, slapping his arm.

"What?" he said, laughing as he did so.

"Hey Alice, are we still on for shopping tomorrow?" Lil asked.

"Have you ever known me of all people to cancel a shopping trip?" Alice said pointing at herself.

"I thought we were going to the movies tomorrow" Edward said confused.

"Yeah we are, but _after_ shopping, you guys are driving down to meet us" Alice clarified.

"Wait, wait, weren't we getting dinner first" Emmett added.

"Yeah we are. Basically, after school Alice and I will go down to Port Angeles, after that you guys will come down to meet us and we'll have dinner, then we'll see a movie and come back to Forks" Lil said in finality.

"Hey Jasper, you're coming right?" Alice asked turning her attention to me.

"Umm, I don't want to intrude or anything"

"You won't be" Alice answered eagerly "You're one of us now, a friend or _brother_of Lil is a friend of ours"

"Yeah it'll be great" Emmett said speaking up

"Oh, well maybe" I said relenting.

"Yay" Alice squealed grabbing me in a hug as though I had agreed. It was strange, for someone so little, she had a whole lot of strength.

"Are you guys coming to Eric's party on Saturday?" Jessica asked, sauntering over followed by the rest of her group.

"Yeah you guys should come it'll be good" Mike said "Plus those hot babes from Port Angeles are coming down as well, definitely something worth seeing, aye Cullen?"

Edward rolled his eyes in response.

"You guys should come, you know, 'cause it's not like there's anything better to be doing in Forks is there" Lauren said sitting down on the desk next to mine "Plus it'll at least show Jasper here that you can still have a lot of _fun_ here in Forks" she smiled at me biting her lip. It was odd seeing her do it to deliberately flirt had no effect on me whatsoever yet Bella doing it so innocently drove me nuts.

I looked to the front of the classroom at her and saw her writing quickly. She had the right idea, do the homework now and free yourself up for later. I pulled out my notepad and decided to start on my English homework. It was about Romeo and Juliet, a subject I had already studied and found quite interesting so I figured it would be easy enough to do.

I began outlining some of the points in detail to make it easier later when I wrote it up. I looked up when I felt a tap on my arm and saw Lil smile at me.

"Are you going to come to the party Jasper?" she asked.

"Might, I don't know yet"

"Well dude, you should come, my parents are away for the weekend and my cousin Sal's bringing a shitload of booze and stuff. It's going to be mad" Eric said laughing.

"And by stuff you mean?" Tanya questioned. I didn't remember her being in this class yesterday but maybe she wasn't in.

"The fun things of course, there's gonna be a mother load"

"You better hope you don't get busted" Tyler said.

"Well who's gonna tell?" Lauren shrilled.

"Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if Bella told her dad, stupid Cop's kid" Jessica muttered.

"You know what, I'm so sick and tired of talking and hearing about Bella Swan, Bella this, Bella that. She's a bitch" Alice shouted standing up.

The whole class turned to face her in surprise as did I. So far Alice had come across as a happy go lucky person and to suddenly see her so angry was kind of frightening. She had transformed in a blink of an eye and I think that is what was so scary about it.

"I _hate_Bella Swan, she's a terrible person but here you guys are just talking about her like she's something special. Well she's not and you know what I hope that one day when she's cutting her fucking wrist she cuts too deep and bleeds to death"

"Alice" hissed Lil "Sit down, you're making a scene"

"No, gosh. She's sitting right there and you know she's making it seem like she's all innocent when she really isn't, she's a conniving liar, a traitor, euurgh!" Alice screamed, grabbing her bag and storming out the class. I looked towards where Bella was sat and found she hadn't moved from her position of writing however; the whole class was now facing her as though waiting for her retaliation.

But she simply kept on writing as though she didn't even see them or care.

Then I realised this is what Bella had meant earlier.

"Gosh Bella" Lauren exclaimed standing up with Jessica following her "Even now all you do is cause trouble for everyone"

"Yeah, you shouldn't have come back here, in fact Alice is right, you should just curl up and die somewhere 'cause all that's going to happen is that you're going to live a miserable life, all alone, I mean when not even your mum wants you, who will?" Jessica snarled.

I looked around and watched how people just looked on, some people smirking whilst others just looked away and I wondered why did no one speak up and say something? Or was Bella really right about every one proclaiming her guilty without hearing her side?

Did they really care?

It seemed as though no one actually cared just as long as there was some kind of gossip going on, someone being hated, someone making a scene. It reminded me of that song called Hero by Superchick and how everyone wants to fit in and in trying to do that they let an innocent person suffer as a result. Then I wondered, why didn't I say anything? But how could I when I didn't even know what was going on.

School ended soon after that and like before Bella rushed out. People started laughing because she tripped on the way but she caught herself on the door. I looked sadly on, how much injustice had she been through?

And was she truly innocent?

xXx

That's another chapter done. What did you guys think? R&R but seriously Audrey Hepburn=LEGENDARY! Love her!


	3. Chapter 3

How's everyone been? I'm surprised I'm able to update considering all the exams I've been doing lately, but I guess I'm just in a good mood considering its sunny today or what England can call sunny...

xXx

**Chapter Three**

I sat nervously in the library waiting for Bella. I was early, really early so that this way, we'd have a long time to talk. I sat back in my chair fidgeting before getting out my sketch book and drawing the library. I wasn't sure how long I spent doing that before I heard her clear her throat.

I looked up, smiling at her and she smiled back hesitantly, before sitting down. She looked nice today, her hair was in a ponytail with a few lose bits floating around her head.

"Hey" I started

"Hey" she put down her bag but picked it up again.

"You okay?" I asked concerned. I couldn't get over what happened yesterday and I was just a spectator so I couldn't imagine what'd it'd feel like having that much hate directed at me.

"Yeah, I'm just surprised, though I shouldn't be"

"Why do you say that?"

"Well despite everything I've said to you and what you've now seen, I'm just surprised that you're here, talking to me and not avoiding me like I'd expected you to do"

"How many times must I tell you before you believe me Bella? I'm not like other people" I grinned at her and was pleased to see she smiled back. I liked her smile, it was pretty and it suited her but most of all it opened her and I got a glimpse at the real Bella instead of the one that seemed hell bent on chasing me away.

"I'm really starting to see that now" she whispered in turn.

"Good" she looked up and watched me for a few moments before looking down again.

"Jasper….why, I mean just….since we started talking and everything, not once have you asked me about what happened? Why?" she asked.

I contemplated my words before saying them "Bella, I don't want you to tell me just because you feel you have to or anything and I don't want to pressure you into telling me just because I want to know. What happened was obviously terrible and when you tell me, I want you to tell me because I'm your friend and you trust me and we've known each other 3 days so yeah, I get it's going to take a while"

"I like you Jasper, I really do-"

"I like you too" I cut in.

She continued "But I don't think that after you find out what happened, that you'll like me very much, maybe that's why I'm holding off from telling you but still I guess I just have to hope that you're as different as you say you are and that you believe me but…I don't know" she sighed sadly.

"Well, how about this, there's this game called truth. The rules of the game are simple, you tell the truth, we go one after the other, you must answer the question or the other person wins and we can start easy" I added.

She looked at me hesitantly, contemplating.

She was biting her lip again; I was really surprised that she hadn't damaged it or anything considering how much she had bitten it in the last few days alone.

"Ok, can I start?" she asked.

"Sure"

She folded her legs beneath her on the chair "Umm, what's your favourite colour?"

"Blue" I answered quickly "Yours?"

"Blue too" she whispered shyly. "You said you liked outdoor sports, which ones and why?"

"I like biking, running, horse riding and I guess really because I lived in Texas, the weather was good so it was nice to be outdoors" that was half the truth but I figured there was no point in telling the other half, she didn't need to know how messed up my life really was.

"Do you like sports?" I asked and then I remembered someone saying something about her being clumsy the other day though. It might have been Mike or Tyler.

"No, no, noooo. Me and sports, we...uh, we don't mix" she said laughingly. "What's your favourite subject?"

"History, yours?" At this she raised her eyebrow.

"Jasper, I thought the rules were we ask a question one after the other not whatever Bella asks, I'll turn it around and ask her" she grinned at me and I knew she wasn't mad "Do you have a pet?"

"No" I thought about a question for a few moments before coming up with one "What's your middle name?"

"Marie"

"So your names Bella Marie Swan?" I asked.

"Yeah I guess and you just asked a question"

"No, I was simply clarifying your answer"

"Whatever. Do you still have tonsils?"

"What?" I asked dumbfounded, did she really just ask me that.

"Do you have tonsils?" she repeated slower.

"Bella, that is a very random question, I mean really, who asks a question like that"

"I do"

"But why?"

"To see if you still have tonsils"

"Yeah but-"

"I don't have tonsils Jasper and I wanted to see if you did or not"

"Well I don't, I had them removed when I was twelve, it was great, and I ate all the ice cream that I could"

"Same except that I was ten when I got mine out. The only reason why I did take them out eventually was because they kept getting infected or something and it hurt so badly. I kept them in a jar afterwards"

"So did I, I still have mine, I'll show them to you one day"

"Mine got eaten"

I looked at her surprised "How did your tonsils get eaten Bella?"

"It was an accident, my dad likes to fish and one day I went along with him, long story short he ended up using my tonsils as bait and some fish ate them"

"Wow"

"Yeah, it's your turn" she said nodding in my direction.

"Umm, okay. What's your favourite time of year?"

She stilled for a moment and she got a wistful look in her eyes as though remembering something, then she smiled "It used to be summer, but now its winter"

"Why winter?"

"Nope" she said popping the 'p' "It's my turn to ask you a question"

"Okay, go ahead"

The bell rang at that point signalling the beginning of period 1. I looked at my watch, surprised to see that time had flown by. Grudgingly, I got up and looked over at Bella seeing that she was as reluctant to leave as I. When she noticed me watching her, she looked down at blushed before meeting my eye again.

"Will..." she started and then stopped.

"Will?" I asked prodding her on.

"Will…I see you…at lunch?" she asked quietly as though I'd say no. She didn't meet my eyes, so I waited until she did before answering.

"Of course" I answered. We reached the doors at the same time and I opened it for her, letting her to leave first before following after.

xXx

"Right guys, I told you on the first day that I'd have a seating plan in place for everyone as you can see, it's on the board, please find your seats and for those of you who can't seem to 'find'" He put his fingers in inverted commas "your seat, I've left you're initials on the tables, now hurry, hurry, hurry, we have work to do"

I walked around the class looking for my name and found that it was at the back of the class where I usually sat and I sighed in relief, I put my bag down and took my books out waiting to see who my partner was considering I didn't have a clue who 'I.S.' was.

I began writing in my notebook when I felt someone sit beside me.

Then I smelt it.

Strawberries.

I glanced up to see Bella smiling down at her notebook.

"Okay, now look to your left or your right and see the person sitting next to you because you will be sitting with them for the rest of the year whether you like them or not" Around the class you could hear the resonating of groans or cheers as the teacher said this.

I leaned over to whisper in Bella's ears "I hope you don't mind sitting with me for the rest of the year"

At this her smile widened before she replied "I'll manage"

"So I.S.? I thought your name was Bella?"

"It is, well its short for Isabella"

"Basically, you're actually _Isa_bella Marie Swan"

"Yeah"

I looked around the class noticing the silence and saw the strange looks being shot our way by everyone including the teacher who simply shook his head with an incredulous smile on his face and I figured that whatever had happened must have been really bad if even the _teachers_ knew about it.

I thought sadly to myself that they must have also known about the way Bella was treated as a result. Did they do anything about it?

The lesson past quickly enough and with only ten minutes to go the teacher announced that we'd be doing projects with our partner.

"Basically guys, this is a ten week project and will be a good chance for a lot of you to pull up your grades as it counts for 30%. That's right 30% which is why you are doing it in pairs and over 10 weeks. I will come around now and you will select a topic from my hat of wonders" he said brandishing a hat from his back. Bella and I waited patiently for him to reach us and when he did, me being the gentleman that I am, let her pick"

"WWII" she read out "Study how one man was able to take control over a whole country featuring points on who was against him and the treatment of undesirables. For extra marks talk about the Holocaust, main concentration camps, how they came about etc…"

"Aaah" the teacher said nodding his head at us "That's a good subject, so much you can do with that one" he said before moving onto the next lot of people.

"10 weeks huh?" I said turning to face Bella who was staring down at the sheet in her hands.

"Yeah"

"I guess that means we have to meet up _out_of school times" The idea strangely excited me.

"I guess" she sounded strangely despondent and it was as though she'd closed herself off to me again. That saddened me but still I was glad that we were going to be hanging out, out of school time as well so this way we can talk for longer and without the constant labelling and pressure that came with being in high school.

The bell rang and we packed up and headed out the class, she went off to wherever and I headed off to English hoping to avoid Alice. After yesterday's show in study hall I was kind of afraid to see what mood she'd be in, however when I entered the classroom she stood up, began waving, jumping up and down and shouting out my names as though I wouldn't see her.

"Jasper" she beamed as I walked over to her and sat down "How are you?"

"I'm alright" I hesitated gauging her expression in case she blew up again "How about you?"

"I'm great, never better" she bounced a little in her seat. The way she was behaving worried me, it was as though yesterday never happened.

"Ok, that's good" The class was called to attention after that and put a stop to the chit chat. I watched Alice through the lesson; she really was like a little child. Alice swung her legs underneath the table as she was too short to reach the ground and drew pictures of flowers around her work and when class finished and we left she skipped to the door. There was no sign of the angry person who had run rampant in study hall yesterday.

We bid each other goodbye and went our separate ways and at lunch time, I made sure to avoid Lauren and Jessica as well as anyone else who would try and get me to the café and simply sped to my locker to grab my lunch from home and go to the library.

Bella was already there as usual reading, I sat down opposite her and waited until she put down her book to begin speaking, I looked around the table and didn't see her lunch anywhere but I saw her bag on the floor so I assumed it was in there.

"When do you want to begin working on the project?" I asked. I opened a bag of crisps and offered some to her but she refused.

"As soon as possible, this way we have time to go over everything and make it more original"

"Good idea, actually I was thinking you know for the parts about promotion that maybe I could copy them and draw them out or something you know, more original"

"You draw?" she asked surprised.

"Yeah" I blushed slightly for some reason, looking down. I couldn't believe that I'd blushed considering how I couldn't even remember the last time I'd done it.

"I'd love to see your drawings sometime" I looked up to see her looking at me nervously.

"Sure"

"Do you want us to do the whole project together or should we separate it between us and then meet up or something?" she asked.

I wanted to spend as much time together with her as I plausibly could so I opted for the option that would allow me to do so. "We should work together and everything and split the work for that thing between us like with promotion we could break it down into us researching what kinds of promotion was aimed at who"

"I get you"

"When and where should we meet up then?" I asked.

"Here, I think. We're surrounded by all these books and everything and there are computers if we need to research anything else"

"Plus some parts of it, like here, are completely secluded so we won't get bothered" I added.

"There's that too"

"Let's go back to playing; I think it was your turn to ask a question"

"Yeah it was" she glanced at me mischievously "Do you think Jessica and Lauren are pretty?"

My eyes widened slightly, now how was I to answer that. They were pretty-ish in a way, well they would be if they removed the cake of makeup they had smeared on their face.

"I believe that Lauren and Jessica are very beautiful in their own special way"

"Hey" she exclaimed "You didn't answer the question"

"No, I think I did"

"No you didn't, I asked if you thought they were pretty and you replied you thought they were beautiful in their own way"

"Exactly, I answered your question"

"Whatever Jasper" she sat back clearly frustrated "Your turn"

"Okay, do you have any siblings Bella?" her head shot up in surprise and tears filled her eyes. She breathed in shakily and I wondered why she reacted so strongly. Did they die or something?

"Bella, you don't have to answer that question if you don't want to, I can ask you something else-"

"No!" she almost shouted "It's okay, yeah I have a sibling, a brother"

"Oh, cool, your turn"

"Why do you like History?" she asked. I wasn't expecting that question and took a while to figure out my answer.

"To be honest, I'm not too sure. I find it interesting I guess and it's good to learn about your country and what people went through for it, it makes you appreciate it a bit more, plus it serves as a great escape from reality"

I almost slapped myself right then for admitting that out loud.

She looked at me, not like I was weird or anything but as though she understood and knew what I meant and was going through.

"I get it, that's kind of why I like reading so much; you can lose yourself in the stories and troubles of other people and forget all about your own troubles and worries. I did that a lot as a kid, I'd imagine myself to be someone else and make up a whole fantasy world"

"I did that too, I was a cowboy superhero, who'd ride in and save everyone from the villains like Broccoli man and everything, pathetic but yeah" she grinned at me.

"It's not pathetic Jasper, at least yours were mildly better than mine"

"What were yours?"

"I was a princess, a damsel in distress and my prince would come and rescue me and take me away to a magical land"

"How is that bad? Lots of girls dreamed about being a princess"

"Yeah I guess, it's just that I'm still kind of holding onto that childish fantasy and I'm still waiting for my prince to come and save me, at one point I thought he had but it wasn't him or maybe he was and he was just tired of rescuing me"

Cryptic reply, I wondered what that meant, was her heart broken or something? Then who broke it? "Well, you shouldn't give up hope"

"I guess, it's just that when you hold on to something though and it fails, it hurts a lot more than if you weren't holding onto it"

"Yeah I guess" I finished eating my sandwich and started putting my stuff away.

"Jasper" I looked up at her "Do you think that it's weird how we've just like….." she sighed but I got what she meant.

"No, I don't think it's weird, you don't control things like this I guess and you know some people just kind of click as friends"

"I know but we've known each other _3 days_" she stressed.

"That may be true yet some people meet a person and an hour later they marry them and they stay together forever because they just know that, that person's their soul mate despite knowing next to nothing about them"

"You're right. It's nice though, having you as a friend, I just hope I can hold on to you" she joked but I could see the seriousness behind the statement.

I reached forward and lay my hand on her arm much like she had done to me the day before.

"Bella, do you really think you can scare me off that easily? You're stuck with me now" I teased and managed to draw a smile from her.

"You know how yesterday, I asked if I could walk you to class and you said next time" I said.

"Yeah"

"It's next time Bella"

"What? Jasper…"

"No Bella, get your stuff, there's plenty of time before the bell goes, so we can walk slowly and if you're really so worried then I'll simply say I'm arranging what we're doing for our History project"

"Ok, if you're sure" she agreed hesitantly, but I could see the happiness in her eyes. It made her look so much prettier and I wondered briefly if it was there because I was fighting for her, well for her friendship at least.

We left the library and walked to block C where her class was and we took the long way round to avoid people seeing us on Bella's insistence. We talked some more about nonsensical things and she told me some of the most terrible jokes but I laughed nonetheless. It was nice seeing her being so open and carefree with me and not closed off as she sometimes got.

By the time I walked her to her class, the bell had rung and after saying her goodbye's I sped to my class just making it in time, however I was dreading the rest of the day namely study hall. Alice had been acting normally as was Bella so I began to wonder if maybe that was the norm and outbursts like that weren't uncommon for Alice.

The remaining periods between lunch and study hall seemed to drag endlessly, but study hall soon arrived. Despite me arriving early, I was still one of the last people to arrive minus Lil and her friends and Bella. It seemed as though people had come early because they were probably hoping for a repeat of yesterday's events.

It sometimes astounded me how insensitive some people could be, for all they knew Bella was cutting or contemplating suicide (I doubted it though) but here they were urging on the very abuse that would convince her to do it. I bet that if anyone of them were in Bella's position they wouldn't have been able to cope, Bella came back despite whatever happened, I didn't believe that any of them would be brave enough to do that.

I took a seat in the middle of the class room and I figured that wherever Bella sat I would to, but as Lil and her friends entered, Bella didn't show. Whispers started going around the class, some people claiming to have heard her crying in the bathroom, whilst others claimed that she had begged to be transferred out of study hall.

Lil and her friends who had sat around me looked almost anxious with the exception of Alice who didn't look too bothered. I couldn't help but wonder what Bella had done to her that was so bad she wanted her dead, then again, when I heard the story, I didn't want it to come from anyone's mouth but Bella's this way at least I wouldn't be hearing a biased version of events and also so that I can try and understand why people felt it necessary to ostracise her as a result of whatever she did. I doubted that it was that bad.

The teacher came in and took a seat giving us instructions to work before he fell asleep in his chair. At that moment, I saw the door open and a petite person walk in. It was Bella. Her backpack was dangling from her hands and her eyes were straight ahead. Immediately, she sat in the seat she did yesterday and got on with her work.

I couldn't help but wonder what she was doing that she kept her head lowered for pretty much the entire time just scribbling away in her notebook. I looked over at Alice to see her reaction and saw that her face was simply blank, there was no happiness, anger or anything.

Alice's face was like an unreadable mask.

After a few moments though, Alice got up and woke the teacher up, getting a hallway pass, however he made her wait so that he could take the register and she could hand it in at the office for him. After that he went back to sleeping. Some people were working and doing what you were actually meant to be doing however the majority of people were simply gossiping.

"Are you guys going to help with the fete?" I heard Lil ask. I turned to face her.

"Maybe" Emmett said in reply. "Ed?"

"Emmett, how many times must I tell you that my name is Edward? Say it with me Ed-ward and to answer your question, I'm going to help out, probably with the music department or something"

"Sweet, you're epic on the piano" Emmett complimented and Lil nodded in agreement.

"I'm alright"

"No need to be so modest Edward, _everyone_ knows you're like a prodigy or something" Lil said.

"Jasper, are you going to do something for the fete?" Lil asked looking at me.

"I…uhh, didn't know that there was one or anything"

"Basically it's in a few weeks or something and if you want to do something for it, you have to sign up for it by the end of next week. We're trying to raise money for something" Lil added.

"Sounds good, I guess but I don't know what I'd do if I did take part"

"Well, you'll figure it out and if you don't there's a dunk tank or there's this thing were basically you stick your head through and people throw water balloons at you"

"Sounds fun" I commented sarcastically.

"Don't be like that Jasper, it really is a lot of fun, and we did it last year as well as the year before that"

"What did you do?"

"Well I ran a kissing booth" My eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Not like that, basically our booth was divided into two sections, the entrance and then the actual booth. Guys paid at the entrance and kissed at the booth. I stood behind the booth and made sure there was a queue, then I went on a 'break' and controlled the girls who were kissing i.e. Jessica and Lauren, the reason we made sure the guys paid first was so if they weren't happy with who they were kissing, it was already too late for their money and they may as well kiss or it'd go to waste"

"Wow, did you make a lot?" I asked in awe of her devious planning skills.

"Oh yeah" Lil grinned.

"Are you going to come with us today?" Emmett asked.

I shook my head "I've got a bunch of catching up to do" I lied.

Lil looked at me oddly, but at least she didn't call me out on my lie.

Study hall passed much in this fashion; however I did begin drafting some ideas for Bella and my History project that I wanted to run past her. It had started raining outside torrentially and I wondered if Lil and Alice were still going to go shopping.

I walked to my locker and got my stuff before going to speak to a couple of my teachers about my work and what not before running through the parking lot to my car. I needed to go to the grocery store to pick up some cereal and as I began reversing out the parking lot, I drove slowly, because I couldn't see clearly however in the corner of the parking lot, I was sure that I could see a massive red blob of some kind. As I got closer, I realised that it was Bella's truck and judging by the furious stuttering of the engine, it had broken down.

I parked beside her and knocked on her window, asking her to wind it down, she did but it only got halfway.

"Hey" I shouted over the rain "What's up?"

"My stupid truck's broken down, at now of all times and my dad's on duty so I can't ask him to pick me up" she groaned.

"Here, I'll give you a lift if you want"

She perked up a little "Really?"

"Yeah, remember what I said earlier about your prince rescuing you, well I might not be him but I figure I could be your Shrek."

"My Shrek?"

"Yeah, you know how Shrek rescues Fiona for the prince, well maybe I'm just rescuing you for you prince"

She paused, looking at me with an odd expression.

"You have a very strange logic Jasper but okay" a slow smile spread across her face "Thanks"

"Hey, what are friends for?"

I navigated the car round to her side, so she could get in without getting too wet. I waited patiently for her to lock up the doors, get her stuff and climb in. After that I cranked up the heater to dry her off in case she got wet or anything.

"You okay?" I asked as I began driving.

"Yeah, I am"

"You know Bella, it's Friday and I don't know anything about this town so do you want to like give me the tour or something"

She smiled at me slightly "You've pretty much been everywhere there is to go I guess, school, grocery store, have you been to the diner?"

"Umm, no"

"Well basically, it's the closest thing we have to a fancy restaurant in Forks, they have the most amazing desserts list, ice cream sundaes, cakes, they're delicious" she grinned at me,

"Oh cool, where is it?"

"Well it's not far from the school, you make a left drive for a bit and it's there"

"Great" I said following her instructions "Let's go there now, get some ice cream or something"

"What? No Jasper, I thought you were taking me home"

"I never said that" I said pulling up in the parking lot.

Bella stared anxiously at the cosy looking building as though something bad had happened there, maybe it had. It was once again reinforced how little I knew about her.

"You aright?" I asked.

"Yeah I guess"

"If you really want to go home, I'll take you, I just figured you know, we could have some of those amazing desserts you were talking about"

"No it's, I'm…I haven't got my purse" she said in a last ditched attempt to convince me.

"Bella, I invited you out, so I will pay. I'm a gentleman after all"

"Invited me out? Gentleman? Ambushed me in my time of need more like" but she was smiling and that was a good thing. Another good thing was that for the mean time the rain had slowed down, I had a feeling that something good was going to happen.

xXx

So have any of you got any guesses as to what happened to Bella? Tell me in your review


	4. Chapter 4

So in case anyone was wondering the main characters are all seniors, the story is set in February after winter break, sorry if I get anything wrong as I live in the UK and I'm getting my information off of the internet, specifically Wikipedia also thank you to everyone who has reviewed or added this story to favourites, it means a lot!

xXx

**Chapter Four**

We ran to the entrance of the diner only getting slightly wet. I opened the door for Bella and she smiled at me before walking in. After entering, I turned to face her, noticing how strands of her damp hair had stuck to the sides of her face. She looked nice with wet hair; I stepped closer to her and noticed how the rain had enhanced her natural scent.

The diner was alive with activity surprisingly un-Forks like. On the wall were various paintings and pictures of landscapes and food. We made our way to the back of the diner where it was quieter and a whole lot more private. The booth was tucked into the corner and couldn't be seen clearly by the rest of the diner.

The hum of chatter in the background provided a great background noise to our...outing? Date? Whatever this was.

We sat down and I handed Bella one of the dessert menu's whilst perusing the other. Bella was right about the desserts list, it was pretty extensive. I could count at least 10 different flavours of ice cream sundaes alone as well as numerous cakes, cookies and so on.

I looked up at Bella and saw she was watching me, after catching her she blushed but she didn't look away from me.

"Did you pick something?" I asked. She nodded her head.

"Have you picked something?" she asked.

"I was hoping that you'd pick for me considering that you're an expert"

"Well…" she hesitated "There's the ice cream sundae but I can never finish one on my own-"

"Great, we'll share then. What flavour?" I asked as I noticed one of the waitresses walking towards us.

"Umm, chocolate chip?" she asked nervously.

"Ok"

"Hello and welcome to the Forks Diner. I'm Kathy and you are?" she asked biting her lip.

"Jasper" I said politely "and-"

"Can I take your order Jasper?" she asked flirty. "I haven't seen you around before. Have you just moved here?"

"Uhh, yeah"

"Then I would recommend, the ice cream sundae or maybe the chocolate cake" she said leaning over and pressing her breasts into my arm as she did so. I couldn't help but feel awkward and I was sure my face showed it.

She glanced at me smiling and licking her overly red lips. She looked young, only a little bit older than us. Her hair was a reddish blonde colour that was cut in a bob. It suited her but I preferred girls with long hair.

"So are you ready to order?" she asked again standing up really slowly

"Yeah" I replied. "Bella, ready to order?" I asked turning to face her.

The waitress turned surprised to face Bella as though she hadn't even noticed her sitting there and Bella looked down uncomfortably.

"What do you want to order then?" Kathy asked her snidely, frowning.

"Chocolate chip cookie ice cream sundae, large" she said quietly.

"Anything else" Kathy turned facing me again, the frown on her face being replaced with a flirtatious smile.

"No, Bella?" I asked but she simply shook her head in response.

"Ok, well, I'll bring you're things out in a few moments" Kathy turned and left.

I turned to face Bella and saw she was smiling at me with a teasing look but underneath that I could see the hurt she was trying to disguise.

"What?" I asked bemused.

"Nothing" she said, looking away from me.

"What?"

"Nothing"

"Bella, tell me" I said seriously.

"Well, I was just thinking that she was being really obvious when she was flirting with you"

"Bella-"

"No it's true; it was kind of funny seeing you though, you looked constipated or something" she laughed.

"Ok, ok, so twenty questions?" I asked.

"Yeah, it was your turn"

"Okay. Umm, what is your favourite word?"

"Probably, Limerance"

"What does it mean?"

"It's like a scientific study into love and I'm a romantic so you can guess why. What's your favourite word?" she asked.

"Floccinaucinihilipilification" I said. It wasn't really my favourite word, it was just the strangest sounding one I knew.

"That's not a real word"

"Yes it is"

"What does it mean then?" she challenged.

"It's the estimation of something as valueless"

"Oh, okay, your turn again"

"What do you like doing in your spare time?"

"I like reading, watching movies, cooking"

"Cooking what?"

"Well, not exactly cooking, more like baking"

"Cool"

"What kind of music do you like?" she asked.

"A bit of everything really. I've got quite an eccentric taste"

"Really, that's what I've always been told as well"

"That's just another thing we have in common then"

Kathy arrived soon after with our ice cream and after lingering for a bit, she left in a huff. Bella giggled at that and I smiled, it was really, really nice spending time with her, like this and I couldn't wait to do it some more.

"So Bella" I said after we started eating the ice cream sundae. It was really large, so I wasn't surprised that Bella couldn't eat it by herself "Apart from this date, what is the worst one you've ever been on?"

"Date? I thought we went over this Jasper, you ambushed me" she said grinning.

"Okay Bella, apart from this _ambush_ what's the worst date you've ever been on"

She looked thoughtful for a few moments "I think the worst one would probably have to be the one where the boy pulled my hair, threw sand at me, punched me in the face and then pushed me off the slide"

I looked at her baffled and wondering what kind of guys she went out with, then again I didn't really know what kind of guys Bella liked.

She must have caught my look because she elaborated "I was five you see and he was six, we were in the same class. His mum was some kind of important make up or fashion lady or something and my mum wanted in with her, so she used the excuse of a play date. We went round his house and children were left to play outside. I went in the sand pit, he threw a fit and then threw sand at me and some went in my eye. He pulled my hair when I went on the swings, punched me in the face when I picked up his ball and pushed me off his slide and it was a pretty big slide. I caught my arm on something and had to go to the hospital" she stuck out her arm and pulled up her sleeve showing me a silvery line on her arm, an indication that it happened a really long time ago.

"So it was a pretty bad date in my opinion and it was all in vain because my mum didn't even get an in with that lady because her violent kid turned it around to make it look like _I_was the bad kid and had gotten hurt because I was trying to force him off" she sighed thoughtfully.

"Wow, that is a bad date" I said agreeing with her. I couldn't help feel though that she was avoiding the question though by using a childhood example, funny as it was.

"My turn, your worst date?"

I rubbed my neck in embarrassment "I…uh don't have one"

She looked at me and the raised her eyebrows up "That's a lie Jasper, everyone has a worst date"

"Well I don't"

"You're basically saying that every single date you went on was absolutely perfect." When I didn't reply she went on "Okay. What was your least perfect date then? I'll give you an example, was it raining so you had to come in or did they not arrange the food as perfectly as they should have" she teased.

"Hey, what happened to the rule of not turning questions around"

"Come on Jasper, don't be a spoil sport"

I sighed heavily.

"Bella, the truth is, I don't date much" or at all

Bella's eyes widened slightly before she bit her lip in thought. "Well then, out of the dates you went on, which was the worst?"

"They weren't even really dates, the girls were just like friends and we got a drink or went to the movies or something. We didn't even hold hands or kiss or anything and you know sometimes we all went in one big group, so yeah"

"Okay then, can I ask you a different question?"

"No, it's my turn"

"Fine"

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"I'm not too sure but something to do with English because I want to do it in college and everything. I might become an author but who knows" she grinned "My books might completely suck"

"I'd buy them"

"Sure you would"

"No, really I would even if they sucked, then I could get them signed by you and sell them on Ebay or something"

"Nice to see you have a plan Jasper"

We ate in silence for a few moments, fighting over the chocolate chip cookies in the ice cream. We fought with our spoons and guarded the bits that we wanted. It was a lot of fun.

I heard the chimes of the diner door go and looked up on instinct only to see Lil and her friends walk in. The rain must have started up again because they were completely drenched.

I looked over at Bella and judging by her expression she had seen them too. She looked utterly terrified. Her chest was heaving quickly as she struggled to take in air and I was afraid that she was going to have a panic attack or something. I kicked her leg lightly underneath the table to get her attention.

"Ok Bella, this is what we're going to do. Since we're sat here, we're kind of hidden away. I'll go and pay and everything and distract them whilst you run out the back doors" I said nodding in the direction of the opened doors "And you remember where we're parked, right?" I asked. I continued after she shook her head in affirmative "We'll meet there okay" I handed her my keys

The ice cream was pretty much all gone, so I stood up and began walking towards the front of the diner where Lil and her friends were standing. Alice noticed me first and began waving exuberantly and calling out my name therefore alerting the others to my presence.

"Hey" I said reaching them.

"Jasper" Alice squealed running and hugging me.

"What are you doing here Jasper?" Lil asked

"Just, you know, hanging out"

"Well, have you eaten yet because then you could join us?" Lil suggested. She smiled at me hopefully and I was _almost_going to say yes.

"I can't" I said sadly. "I've got some stuff to do"

"Can't you do it later?" Alice begged holding my arm "_Please_" I shook my head.

"I'll see you guys later though"

"Ok, bye" Lil said, this was soon followed with the rest of them saying it and I waved as I walked out the doors.

I made it to the car but Bella was nowhere to be seen. I waited a few minutes before walking round the back to where she was supposed to be coming from. The route was empty, I turned to walk back to the car when I noticed a door and heard voices coming from inside, I pulled it open.

"….you're so pathetic do you know that? I find you unbelievable but then I've got to admire you're guts, really. I could never be like you then again who could. You're in a league of your own. Now, that boy he's _hot_ so I want you to leave him. I don't understand why someone like him would pick someone like _you_ over someone like _me_ it's crazy and if you don't I will- Jasper!" Kathy shouted when she spotted me.

I looked behind her and saw Bella. She looked comatose as though she weren't really there, simply staring blankly ahead as Kathy rained abuse on her, or at least that's what I assumed she had been doing in the time I had been waiting for her.

Once again I didn't understand how Bella could quietly take it, not retaliating or anything.

Simply accepting it as though she deserved it.

And that scared me.

I stepped closer to Bella but Kathy blocked her way smiling at me so I pushed past her, grabbed Bella's arm and pulled her out behind me. Bella was silent as I pulled her to the car and opened the door. She got in without a word, I turned to walk round to my side of the car and saw Lil and Emmet standing at the opening of the Diner watching me. I kept on walking though and they didn't try to stop me.

I started the car and took off driving, I wasn't sure where I was going but I was sure that I didn't want to leave Bella yet. I glanced over at her and saw that she was simply watching me, I tried to offer her a smile but she didn't respond simply looked out the window. The sound of the rain pattering down on the car provided the perfect background noise to this solemn day.

I pulled over to the side of the road and parked. The clouds of rain had darkened the sky considerably, so much that despite being only 5 it looked a lot later.

"Are you okay?" I asked her. She turned to face me and though she didn't respond again, I could see her eyes soften slightly.

"You know, ants are only alive for 60 days" I said conversationally. I could see the confusion in her eyes over the random change of subject.

"It's true, they're quite fascinating really. So are penguins, when they mate, they mate for life and even if they get separated for years at a time they almost always find their way back to each other"

"I already knew that" she croaked "From watching Definitely, Maybe"

"Same" I grinned. She smiled slightly at me.

We sat in silence for a few moments before I began fumbling with the radio and the sounds of acoustic guitars strumming away streamed through. We started talking then, about everything and anything that wasn't too deep or personal. Arguing about things like music to the shape of clouds passing by in the sky and before I knew it the sky had darkened even more and it was Twilight.

Bella looked happier but not completely and I didn't blame her, it must take a toll on your emotional health to have such anger constantly being spewed on you by people, in school and out of school.

"Jasper" she whispered. I turned to face her "Thanks for taking me out, I had a lovely time"

"I did too"

"Can you take me home?" she asked gently.

"Ok" I started the car and began following her instructions despite knowing where it was she lived. Though I was disheartened that she wanted to go home, she must have been tired; it had been a long day after all.

I parked and got out to open the car door for her before walking her to her front door. Her driveway was empty before I suddenly remembered that her car was still at the grocery store.

"Bella, what are you going to do about your car?" I asked.

"Umm, I was going to call Jake later and he'll probably fix it up"

"Who's Jake?" I asked feeling oddly jealous? Territorial? Protective?

"An old family friend, he's really into cars and things like that"

"Oh. Aren't you worried what 'll happen to your car overnight though?"

"No, I mean, really anything that was valuable in there has been taken out and plus who would really steal a car like mine. It's ancient" she laughed.

"Yeah, I guess"

She sat on the porch swing and after a few moments I joined her there. I wasn't ready to let her go just yet, but I couldn't think of a way to prolong the time anymore especially since it seemed like she couldn't wait to get rid of me.

"So umm, you're dad's a cop?" I asked.

"Yeah, he's the Chief of Police"

"Must be nice"

Her lips twitched in a smile "Not exactly, he's a lot more protective I guess because he's seen it all and yeah, a lot of people at school were a lot more hesitant when it came to me hanging out with them, well at least they were when they liked me" she said dryly.

"Oh"

"Yeah"

We trailed off into an awkward silence and I realised that it was futile of me to try and hold onto the obviously terrible time we were both having in a last ditch attempt to try and regain the feelings from the beginning of the evening.

"I guess you should go in now or something" I said facing away from her. I stood up and gave her a hand to get up, and then I walked her the short distance to her front door.

I waited as she fumbled around for her keys before finding them and unlocking the door. She hesitated before opening it and then turned around to face me, biting her lip and averting her eyes.

"I'll be see-"

"Do you want to come in?" she blurted out.

I stared at her in surprise for a bit before I realised that with each moment that I was silent, Bella grew increasingly nervous.

I opened my mouth to accept but she beat me to it.

"You, you know, if you don't want to, you don't have to…" she stuttered.

"No" I shouted. She jumped in surprise. "No, I mean I do want to come in" I repeated softer.

"Oh, ok, come in" she said opening the door wider and leading me in.

The inside of the house from what I could see was pretty cosy looking; it was just one of those places that had a homely feel to it.

"Well this is downstairs, that's the living room" she said gesturing with her left hand "Kitchen, upstairs and that concludes the tour" she turned to face me "Do you want a drink?"

I shook my head no.

"Okay, well umm, let's sit down then" she said walking in the direction of the living room. I took a seat on the end of the couch and watched as she quickly tidied the few books and newspapers on the table.

She sat down on the end of the couch that I was on, the tension between the two of us was escalating to insurmountable levels.

"You have a nice house"

"Thanks"

I glanced around the living room noticing the few scatterings of pictures on the wall.

"What do you think of the school then?" Bella asked.

"It's alright" I sighed "Just, it's been 3 days"

"Yeah I guess, you know if you're lucky the attention will have died down by next week"

"Maybe, I'm not too fussed"

"That's good, I remember when I first moved back, it was horrible, everyone kept staring at me, for having the 'guts' as they said to move back or I don't know because they wanted to make me feel like a freak show"

"Move back?"

"Yeah"

"But I thought you lived in Forks for years"

"I did, I mean I have but it's just really complicated, I'll tell you another day"

"Promise"

"Of course Jasper"

"Can I ask you something?" I said.

"You just did but go ahead" she smirked reiterating my earlier words.

"Why are you always in the library?"

She paused for a moment "It's quiet in there, peaceful. That's how I like things"

"I get what you mean, people in school don't really go in the library do they?"

"I'm pretty sure some of them don't even know there _is_ a library" she leaned back on the chair and just looked at me for a moment.

"About the project" she started slowly "I was thinking that maybe we could meet at the library after school because you're probably busy on the weekends and stuff" I frowned wondering why that really mattered, school was school and it was by far more important than having a social life.

"Bella, I just moved to a town where I could drive from one end to the other in like 30 minutes or something, I doubt that I'm going to be that busy"

"Well, some people have parties on the weekend and you'll probably go and everything" At that moment everything clicked in my head. Like when I first met Bella and she was going on about how I had a chance to fit in.

"Let's just say I did go these parties" Though I doubted that I would "They would probably start in the evening and we could hang out- I mean work on the project before then"

"I guess but-"

"But what?"

"Nothing"

I couldn't help be frustrated, it was like the more I tried to get us to hang out and everything, the more Bella tried to avoid us doing so, it made no sense whatsoever. She's worried about what people would think of me and everything but I didn't care so why should she?

"Jasper-" My phone began ringing after that, I wanted to ignore it but Bella told me that I should. I looked at the phone and saw it was Lil. It was strange because we didn't talk on the phone all that much or ever.

"Hello"

"Hey Jasper, what's up?" Lil said.

"You called me?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, I know umm, when _are_ you coming home?" she asked hesitantly.

"I'm not too sure" I said glancing at Bella quickly.

"Oh, well, okay but umm, yeah we need to talk when you do, it's really important" I groaned silently, I really hoped that she hadn't seen Bella but I guess I was wrong.

"Sure, I'll see you later then"

"Ok, bye"

"Bye"

We hung up and I looked at Bella again. I noticed I did that a lot. She was beautiful so I couldn't be blamed. The fading light shone through the window, illuminating her hair and I noticed how her hair had red hues in them as well. She kind of looked like an angel right then, a broken angel and for some reason I wanted to be the one to put her back together, to fix her.

The sudden rush of heat that went through me at the moment took me by surprise and I realised that I truly cared for Bella and I wanted to guide her back to happiness again and as corny as it was I wanted to be her beacon of hope.

"What were you saying?" I asked her. She shook her head silently. "Bella?"

"It's, it's nothing Jasper, I've already forgotten as it is" she smiled weakly at me.

"Oh ok"

We sat in silence for a moment.

"It's getting late, isn't it?" I caught on immediately.

"Yeah, I guess I should be going" I stood up as she did and walked to the door. I turned round to face her and smiled.

"Did you have a good time?"

A soft smile touched her lips "I did, surprisingly enough"

"We should do it again sometime"

"Maybe" she whispered. "I'll see you later then"

"Yeah but actually can you give me your number first?" she looked at me surprised as I said this.

"Why?" she asked confused.

"Well, we're going to be working on a ten week project together and we'll need to meet up and stuff, so if we have each other's numbers then we can plan when to meet"

"Oh yeah, good point"

I handed her my phone as she gave me hers and I saved my mobile number in it, I was going to put my house number as well but decided against it, in case one day she called and someone other than me answered.

"Here" she said handing me back my phone a few moments later.

"Thanks" I said smiling.

"So bye then"

"Bye Bella"

"Jasper, wait!" Bella called out.

I turned to face her as she ran down her porch steps.

"Jasper, tomorrow I'm going to see Jacob about my truck, it's in La Push and there's this beach and it's probably not the best time of year to be going to a beach but it's really pretty and so do you want to come with me?" she blurted out.

I nodded my head absolutely stunned.

"Ok, so umm, pick me up tomorrow then about 12 or something?"

"Yeah, sure"

I turned to walk to my car and waved as I reversed out her driveway. I got home a few minutes later, feeling unbelievably tensed. Was it just Lil at home? Or did she have her army of friends and her boyfriend there as well?

I hoped it was just her and then it'd be easier to talk especially if it's about Bella because I doubted that Alice would be too happy about us doing so.

I opened the door and walked in, Lil wasn't in the living room or anywhere on the ground floor, so taking the stairs two at a time I went to her room and found she wasn't in there either. I frowned thinking that maybe she'd gone out but when I opened the door to my room, I found her sitting on my bed flicking through my sketch pad.

"Hey" I said. She looked up at me and smiled.

"Hi, so I guess we better start, huh?" she rubbed her hands on her thigh nervously.

"Yeah I guess" I took a seat next to her on the bed.

"So umm, you and Bella, when did that start?"

"Nothing's going on Lil"

"That's not what I asked Jasper" Lil said raising her voice slightly.

"We're friends, we met on my first day"

"Really? And you haven't been put off from being her friend?" she asked slightly confused.

"No" At this Lil turned to face me and smiled. "Why?"

"Well, it's pretty obvious that Bella isn't the most liked person in the school, you've seen how people treat her"

"I know but, I don't care"

"I've always liked that about you, you know"

"What?"

"How you just, how the opinions of other people don't seem to affect you"

"The people's who's opinion's that affect me are the people that I care about"

"Do you care about Bella?" Lil was looking at me wide eyed and almost scared? I stiffened slightly almost defensively.

"Yeah, I guess I do"

"Well, I'm happy that you've found a friend Jasper, just be careful okay? I don't want to see you getting hurt"

"Why would I get hurt? I asked puzzled.

Lil cocked her to the side for a moment regarding me with a strange look before she began making her way to my bedroom door.

"Why would I get hurt?" I repeated.

"Who's to say you will, everyone's different" she said and then she was gone and the room was silent. Lil's cryptic words ran through my mind and I wondered who had gotten hurt and if she was talking about Bella or herself or…..

Alice?

End chapter, do you like?


	5. Chapter 5

Hey, how's everyone been? Here's a new chapter. Enjoy :)

xXx

**Chapter Five**

The sun filtered in through the windows, hitting me in the face. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and turned around hoping to catch a bit more sleep. A loud banging on my bedroom door however forced me to awaken and face the day.

"Come in" I called out, my voice rough with sleep. I sat up on the bed rubbing my eyes with the heels of my hand and slapped my face a couple of times hoping to wake up.

Lil peeked round the door smiling as she walked in. I kicked the sheets off and stretched out, hearing my joints pop and sighing contentedly.

"Hey" Lil said as she sat down on the bed next to me.

"Morning, what's up?" I yawned.

"Eww, Jasper, cover your mouth when you do that" Lil whined.

"Why?" I asked running a hand through my hair.

"Your breath reeks, that's why"

I shrugged "That's what you get when you wake me up at…" I paused, leaning over to check the time "10.43"

"So what? It's not even that early"

"Still" I groaned "What do you want?"

"Nothing much, just to see how you are and you know, ask you what you were doing for the day"

I looked suspiciously at her, the suspicion which grew after I saw the fake innocent look she was shooting my way.

"Well, I'm fine"

"Any plans?"

"Why?"

"Just wondering because we're going to Port Angeles today, because we couldn't go yesterday and I was wondering if you wanted to come with us" she said.

"Oh, well umm, I can't, I'm going out with a friend"

"Right, a friend" Lil said slowly.

"Yes Lil, a friend"

"Ok but, like I said yesterday I don't want you to get hurt and I think that it's best if you and you're friend just keep….this, this thing under wraps"

"I hear you Lil, I'll be fine"

She looked at me doubtfully "If you're sure" she stood up to make her way out of the room "Just curious, do you even know what happened?"

I considered lying before opting for the truth "I will eventually"

And if she was surprised, she certainly didn't show it.

"We should do something sometime, just the two of us"

"Yeah, I think so too, we haven't really had a chance to talk or anything"

"I know and we should, I mean you're my only brother, my only sibling. All my life I wanted a brother and now I've got one and I want us to be close" Lil sat on the bed, tears started pooling in her eyes.

"Hey, what's brought this on?" I sat up and put my hands on her shoulders.

"Nothing, I just, Jasper everything's gone wrong and I can't do anything about it, it's gone too far"

"What's gone wrong?" I asked concerned but Lil simply shook her head and buried her head in my chest. I could feel her tears seeping through my shirt but I didn't care, I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close.

After a couple of moments, she stopped crying and was simply hiccupping. She sat up and I wiped her tears.

"Do you feel better?" I asked.

"Yeah" she hiccupped. "I must look like a mess"

"Hold on" I said ruffling her hair "Now you look like a mess"

"Jasper" she squealed but she was laughing and that was what was important.

"Go fix yourself up, okay"

"I'm going, I'm going, thanks"

"Your my little sister, you don't need to thank me"

"Still" she stood up and began walking to the door.

"Lil, anytime you want to talk or something, I'm here"

"I know" she smiled.

"When are your friends coming?"

"Umm, everyone will be here in about half an hour or something"

"Ok" I slumped down on my bed hoping to get a few quick winks before having to get up again.

"Jasper, get up" Lil said reappearing in the doorway.

Groaning, I stood up and began getting my things together. I opened the window to check the weather before getting my clothes out. It wasn't too cold today so I figured a light jacket would be alright.

I brushed my teeth quickly before hopping in the shower. I washed my hair and got out the shower drying myself and wrapping the towel around my waist. I pulled on my boxers and ran the towel through my hair before leaving it to lie across my shoulders.

I grabbed my jeans pulling them on and zipping them up. I heard the brief sound of a knock on the door before it was opened. Assuming it was Lil again, I picked up my shirt preparing to put it on when I heard _her_ voice.

"Aren't you going to say hello Jasper?" Dropping my shirt in surprise, I turned around to come face to face with Alice. Well face to space above Alice's head but nevertheless the idea was the same. She smiled shyly at me, crossing her arms behind her back and looking at the ground.

"Alice? Wha….what are you doing here?" I asked baffled. Lil said her friends were going to be here in a half hour but that didn't mean I expected them to come to my room. I hardly even knew Lil, let alone her friends who I'd only met a few days before.

"I came to say hello" she beamed enthusiastically, stepping further into the room and closing the door behind her.

"Well, uh, hi" I said pathetically, backing up slightly.

She leaned her head to one side and smiled wider "You're really tan you know, I wonder if you'll stay that way after living in Forks?" she mused almost to herself.

I cleared my throat loudly to get her attention.

Her eyes were dazed and when she came to it was almost as though she wasn't even in the room and as though she didn't even see me. Smiling once again, she skipped forward, completely undeterred by the horrified look on my face.

"Umm, Alice I kind of need to get dressed" I said gesturing to the shirt I had dropped earlier in surprise.

"Oh I don't mind waiting for you" she said casually, taking a seat on my bed. After waiting for a few moments, hoping that she was joking and would leave, I bent down and grabbed my shirt, pulling it on roughly.

I couldn't help but feel extremely awkward and embarrassed, I wasn't ashamed of my body by all means, I knew I was in shape because of all the sport I did and how much I worked out but it was because of how intense Alice's stare was on me.

"So what, umm, brings you here?" I asked running a hand through my hair. I didn't think there was much point in combing it, considering how it was pretty much always a curly mess.

"Well, we're going out today, all of us, didn't Rose tell you?" Alice asked almost confused, the smile dropping from her face.

"Oh yeah, she did, I must have forgot"

Alice smiled at me once again "It doesn't matter, are you going to come with us? You didn't yesterday, granted it started raining and everything, so in a way it's good that you didn't come with us because you wouldn't have had a very good time and all but today we're going to Port Angeles and we can go shopping and eat and go to the movies not necessarily in that order but we'll go nonetheless" Alice babbled.

My eyes widened at the speed at which she spoke at, it was kind of hard to keep up with her.

"So will you come?" she smiled eagerly at me and I hated the fact that I would have to disappoint her, but I'd hate disappointing Bella more, I didn't know why, I just would.

"I'm sorry Alice" I said shaking my head sadly "I can't"

"But why Jasper?" she asked in a hurt tone, tears began shining in her eyes.

"I have to umm do some work and stuff" I stuttered out.

"Can't you do that some other day?"

"The library doesn't open on Sunday's and I'm already behind as it is because I'm starting halfway through the year" I lied. I wasn't behind, I was even ahead in some classes, having taken advanced ones in my old school and finishing them, after _it_had happened, there was really no point going back to school especially since when I was at home, I could work better and for longer.

"Oh" she looked down frowning for a moment before smiling widely once again "it's okay I guess, we can hang out some other time" she shot forward wrapping her arms around me.

"Yeah" I nodded my head, my arms hanging awkwardly down at my side.

"I'm going to go down now, see you"

"Ok, bye Alice" she smiled at me once more before disappearing through the door way. I could hear her lithe footsteps on the steps before she reached the others downstairs.

Still reeling from the experience, I quickly finished getting dressed and grabbed the things I would need for the day. I went downstairs, avoiding the living room, and entered the kitchen. Not wanting to risk running into Alice once more, I shoved some Pop Tarts into the toaster and grabbed a banana, shovelling that down as I waited for the Pop Tart to finish toasting.

With a pop, they came out, I grabbed them and ran out the door, shouting a quick hi and bye to Lil and her friends in the living room. I looked at my watch checking the time but I figured that Bella wouldn't mind if I was a tiny bit early.

Starting the engine, I began the short drive down to Bella's, parking the car in the still empty driveway. I sat in the car a moment, taking a deep breath to calm my suddenly racing heart. I got out and knocked on her door waiting patiently for her to open it.

The door flung open for me to come face to face with Bella's flushed face.

"Hi" she said panting slightly.

"Hey, are you ready to go?" I asked rocking on the balls of my feet.

"Yeah, let me just get my, umm, coat. Give me a minute" she said rushing back into the house. I nodded my head slowly, turning around and heading back to the car to wait for Bella.

I got out my phone and started going through my texts when I heard the sound of footsteps in front of me, before Bella's shoes came into view. She smiled shyly at me, holding up a picnic basket and like yesterday, I opened the door for her to go in. I got in the car and started the engine, before backing out of the drive.

"So what's in there?" I asked nodding towards the basket in her lap.

"Just some sandwiches, drinks, hummus and carrot sticks and some other things. I wasn't sure what you liked" she said biting her lip.

"Well that's nice and I love hummus" I said winking at her. Bella blushed and faced away from me. I chucked quietly, she was lovely. Too lovely for words.

"Where do I need to go?"

"If you drive to the school, it'll be easy to find from there" she said. I drove to the school and from there Bella navigated me to La Push. It was a nice area, with lots of trees, much like the rest of Forks.

"I need to go see Jake first, his house is down there, the one with the truck in front" she said pointing down a road.

I pulled up in front of a quaint looking house; it had an extremely large tree at the front of it as well as a blue truck. In the distance, I could see a shed that looked home made yet sturdy. The sound of a door shutting interrupted me from my perusing as I saw Bella head towards the front door.

I figured that I should just wait for her in the car considering that she was visiting a family friend and I didn't want to intrude.

The door opened and a boy as tall as me filled the doorway; I figured that he must be Jake. He had russet coloured skin and long black hair that was tied in a ponytail. He dwarfed over Bella, but that didn't stop her from jumping into his arms. I watched as they spoke animatedly for a few moments and I realised that Jake didn't go to our school, but did that mean that he didn't know what happened, which is why Bella and him were still friends, or maybe he did but he didn't care what others were saying about her.

Then again, Bella did say that no one knew her side of the story and had simply past judgement based on what they heard or at least based on what they wanted to hear.

I guess that meant Bella wasn't as guilty as people wanted her to be but it still made no sense as to why everyone would want to despise her, especially if she had done nothing wrong.

Did her parents know what had happened? Maybe they did but most likely they didn't, not many teenagers would want their parents to know that they were being bullied in school plus I was pretty sure that if Bella's dad knew, based on what she's told me, I figured that no one would actually have the guts to continue doing that.

At least I wouldn't, especially if the guy owned a gun, which he most likely did.

I watched as Bella turned to face the car and began pointing in my direction and gesturing at me to come to her. I got out the car and made my way towards them, Jake smiled at me and I nodded my head in response.

"Jasper this is Jake and Jake this is Jasper, he's new in Forks"

"Hey, it's nice to meet you man" Jake said holding out his hand.

"You too" I said shaking his hand.

"Anyway Bells about your truck, the engine's overheated, the air intake is clogged there's a hole in the cylinder and a bunch of other things as well, I'm going to try and fix them but she's getting old, it could be her time"

"Shut up Jake, she's sturdy and plus I still need her, she's not going to die on me just yet"

"Whatever you say, tell Charlie I said hi and my dad said they should get together to go fishing sometime"

"Sure I'll tell him, thanks Jake"

"Any time Bells, see you later Jasper"

"Yeah bye"

We made our way back to the car and I started driving back the way we came.

"Stop" Bella called out. I immediately braked the car "Turn here, we can go to First Beach"

"First Beach? Forks has a beach?"

"Yes it does, it's really nice though, peaceful. We can sit and talk for a bit" she said hesitantly, biting her lip and looking out of the window.

"Yeah sure, so I just turn here"

"Yeah"

I followed the path and pulled up at the beach, it did look very calming. The icy blue sky almost looked like part of the sky where they melted into each other in the distance. The sand was a pure white colour, with slight scatters of stones mixed in with it.

"It's nice" I said as I got out the car and opened the door for Bella.

"I told you so, I used to love coming down here" she said wistfully. "There are trees right over there, I would sit underneath it for hours reading or talking to….." she stopped abruptly. I turned to face her wondering why she had stopped.

"Talking to….." I said hoping she'd continue.

"Jake" she said slowly, sadly "Talking to Jake"

I could tell she was lying to me but I didn't want to force the truth out of her in case she closed up and refused to speak to me.

The sea lapped at the shore. I really wanted to draw it, it was a shame I had forgotten my sketch book though, it was strange because usually I brought it everywhere with me.

"Do you want to take a walk along the beach then?" I asked her.

"Sure" she replied after a moment. We went to the water's edge and began walking from there. We weren't speaking but the silence was nice. Every couple of minutes either Bella or I would make an observation about something as random as to why the sky was blue.

We made it to the tree that Bella said she usually sat at and sat down next to each other. Bella shivered lightly and pulled her jacket tighter around her.

"Here" I said taking off my coat and handing it to her "Put this on"

"What? Jasper, no I'm fine, really" but as she said this, a cold breeze hit her and she shivered loudly.

"Please Bella, put this on"

"But you'll be cold"

"No I won't, I've got an abnormal ability of restaining heat and I've got a jumper on" I said pointing to it.

"Fine" she said relenting "But if you get too cold, tell me and I'll give it back"

"Ok"

We sat in silence for a few moments as I tried to figure out what to say to her next but for some reason, I just couldn't seem to think of anything.

"Do you want a sandwich Jasper?"

"Sure"

I waited patiently as Bella opened the picnic basket and started moving things around inside, before bringing a blanket. We stood up and I helped her to spread it before we sat back down and Bella began bringing out the food.

"Do you want ham and cheese, plain, there's a cucumber one here somewhere" Bella said searching though the basket.

"Ham and cheese is fine" I said taking it from Bella as she held it out to me.

"And drinks, there's Coke, water, Fanta-"

"Bella" I interrupted "Relax, seriously"

"Oh, ok" she sat back, crossing her legs underneath her. I took a bit out of my sandwich. It was really nice, not just ham and cheese but there was some other stuff in it that made it taste really nice.

"This taste's really good"

"Thanks"

"What's in it?"

"Umm, Gruyere cheese, parmesan cheese, nutmeg, ground pepper and some other stuff"

"Well at least you know if the writing thing doesn't work out, you could always become a chef and open a restaurant. I'd eat there"

"You're so nice Jasper"

"Umm..." I didn't know what to say to that "Thanks"

We ate silently for a few moments, but I could feel Bella looking at me every couple of minutes. I was glad that she was getting more comfortable with me, at least enough to talk to me about things.

"Are you and Rosalie twins?" I heard Bella say from beside me. I turned to face her but saw how her eyes were focused on her hands, which she was wringing furiously in her lap. I lay my hand on top of her two to stop her and her eyes shot up to me surprised. Her hands were tiny beneath mine and her skin was soft. I could feel shocks where my hand touched hers but they were nice shocks.

I gently removed my hand from hers and got ready to answer her question.

"No, we're not twins"

She looked at me curiously. "How come you're in the same year then?"

"It's really complicated" more complicated than she knew, I figured I didn't have to tell her everything just the basics "Lil's my half-sister"

"But then how…" her eyes widened as she realised something. "That means…"

"Yeah, my dad cheated on my mum with Lil's mum"

"Oh Jasper, I'm so sorry"

"It's okay, I'm over it, I guess" That was a lie; I didn't think I'd ever get over it.

"When did you find out?" she gasped clasping her hand over her mouth "I mean you don't have to answer or anything, I didn't mean to pry"

I smiled at how cute she was.

"It's alright; you can ask me anything Bella. We found out about two years ago"

"Who's older?"

"I am"

"Really?" she asked almost surprised.

"Yes Bella, my birthday's in September and Lil's is in April"

"My birthday's in September"

"September what?"

"13th, when's yours?"

"11th"

"You guys could pass as twins though"

"Yeah, a lot of people say that"

"You've been living in Texas all this time and Rosalie's been here for ages since she was like 9"

"Is that when she met Emmett and everyone else?"

"Kind of, Dr Cullen and everyone moved here a year after she did"

"What do you mean Dr Cullen and everyone?"

"Has no one told you yet?"

"Told me what?"

"Alice, Emmett and Edward are adopted. They were adopted by Dr Cullen and his wife Esme"

"I never knew"

"I kind of guessed that, it's weird though, it's usually the first thing that Lauren and Jessica tell people about them"

"So they didn't change their surnames"

"No they did, well they hyphenated it like Masen-Cullen for Edward"

"They all live together then?"

"Yeah" she paused "Who do you live with?" I squeezed my eyes shut and rested my head against the tree, this question always led onto harder questions.

"I live with Lil and her mum"

"Just the three of you"

"Yeah"

"How come you don't live with your parents?" she asked looking at me curiously.

I paused, turning to face her.

"My parents are dead Bella"

Cue dramatic music, who saw that coming?


	6. Chapter 6

Hey, hey, hey. It's me again with another update. Sorry to leave you guys with a cliff-hanger there but I hope you enjoy reading this chapter, there's a little more insight into Jasper and Bella here.

xXx

**Chapter Six**

Bella's mouth dropped open and her eye widened in shock.

"What?" she gasped out.

"My parents are dead" I repeated slowly. It still felt weird saying it out loud and it hurt just as badly.

"Oh my gosh Jasper, I'm so sorry" Bella said getting on her knees beside me.

"It's okay, I'm…" I hesitated. I wanted to tell her I was fine with it but that would be another lie and for some reason I just didn't want to lie to her.

"I know you're not fine Jasper, you don't need to lie for my benefit"

I smiled slightly.

"Are you okay?" she asked. She placed her hand on my cheek, her warmth seeping into my cheek. She was so close to me right now, so close that if I leaned in just a bit, I could kiss her. She had lovely lips, fuller on the top than bottom. They looked so soft, I bet they were. I could see her eyes fluttering shut and our lips meeting.

"Jasper?" Bella asked, snapping me out of my day dream.

"Yeah?" I replied slightly dazed.

"Are you okay?" she repeated again.

"Yeah, I was just thinking" about you and your luscious lips.

"Oh" she said and as though just realising that her hand was still on my cheek, she removed it quickly as if it had burnt her.

"Do you want to know more?" I asked her hesitantly.

"If you want to, I really don't mind either way" she replied after a moment.

It was odd, usually after people found out my parents were dead they'd look at me with pity in their eyes and I hated that but in Bella's eyes I could only see concern for me.

I ran my hand through my hair "Okay, well, it umm, happened 2 years ago about 3 months after we found out about Lil" I paused "They're buried back in Texas"

"Was it hard?" she asked, slowly holding my hand and squeezing it.

"At first it was really hard but I don't think it really gets any easier, I think you just learn to live with it"

"I get what you mean, kind of; it's just one of those things"

"Yeah" I looked around for a moment.

"How did Rosalie take it?" Bella asked hesitantly.

I thought hard for a moment. To be honest I wasn't really sure, I had been too wrapped up in my own grief and dealing with the baggage that had been loaded on me that I hadn't really thought about Lil and how she was coping with everything that had happened. I mean, despite everything that had happened, he was her father too.

"I'm not sure, hopefully better than me"

After they're death, I had completely flipped out, I just became angry at anyone and everything. I was volatile and horrible, I'd get into fights just for the sake of it, just so that I could justify what I was doing, so that I could feel something, anything other than the numbness inside, I couldn't mourn her death, I couldn't cry, I couldn't register it or anything else and so the pain of being hit, of bleeding...was nice, because it meant I was still alive, it meant that I could still feel, the pain it hurt so good but then it didn't anymore and I just felt tired and sick of it.

I was covered in bruises, I was in and out of hospital getting fixed up, that wasn't life and it wasn't what I wanted for myself.

But most of all it wasn't what my mum would want.

It was then that I changed and tried to get better. At first I just kept everything inside and became completely withdrawn from people, my thoughts were horrible mostly about killing myself and it was reflected in the drawing's that I did. They covered my room, they were on my walls, the ceiling, the floor but at least I was expressing my grief in a slightly healthier way. The pictures were dark and gruesome, terrifying to be honest. I still had them but I didn't look at them, it was hard remembering that time in my life and the kind of person I was. I knew I was seriously depressed and so I went to a therapist at the doctor's suggestion but talking about it didn't seem to work, mostly because I refused to talk, the first step of grief was denial after all and I guess that's where I was stuck.

Nothing seemed to be working.

Nothing.

My Nan is a devoted Christian and so she kept on insisting that I went to church. I didn't believe in God because if He was there, then why would such horrible things happen to good people, namely my mum. She's dead now and she didn't deserve to be, she was a good person, always helped others and like my Nan was a devoted Christian and yet she ended up with a bastard like my dad and dead because of him.

I went but I didn't believe but I could see why people went, it gave them hope and eventually like them it gave me some hope, some direction, just something other than the hole that I had dug myself. I got out of the bleak world that I was in and made my way to recovery. I was still recovering even now but I still couldn't help but wonder if I would ever get over what happened that night.

I shook my head trying to rid my mind of the memories, it was the past now and that's where I should leave it. I was moving past that or at least trying to.

"Do you want to finish eating or I dunno, go somewhere else?" I asked.

"Let's go somewhere else" Bella said. We began packing up the things and began making our way back to the car. As we walked, we talked, thankfully about things that didn't hold much importance.

"So where do you want to go?" I asked as I pulled out onto the road we'd come from.

"We could go back to my house or something, its empty" Bella whispered beside me.

"Sure"

I began the short drive back to Bella's, studying her from the corner of my eye. She was biting down on her lip and twirling a lock of hair around her finger as she looked out the window with a contemplative look.

"We're here" I said pulling up.

I got out the car and opened the door for her, I waited patiently as she unlocked the door and we walked in. She disappeared in the direction of the kitchen for a moment before reappearing.

"Are you thirsty?" she asked.

"I'm alright"

"Okay then, follow me" and instead of leading me to the living room like she did yesterday, she led me up the stairs.

"That's Charlie's room" she said pointing to the left. "And here's mine" she said opening the last door in the hallway.

It was a nice room, the walls were purple and she had a computer on a desk at the far wall. There were numerous pictures and other things stuck on the wall. Her bed was queen sized and took up the majority of the centre of the room.

"I like your room" I said. She smiled but continued standing nervously at the door, wringing her hands again.

"You can sit down if you want" she said to me. So I sat on the bed and she came and sat beside me. Once again we were in silence, I continued looking around her room, I could see stacks of books in one corner and stood up to go and see what she had.

There was a lot of books by Charlotte Bronte, Jane Austen and Emily Bronte as well as William Shakespeare and a couple of other authors. She had some young adult books, crime and romance, specifically mills and boons. I wasn't surprised considering how she had admitted to being a romantic earlier.

"You've got a lot of books" I said turning to face her.

"Yeah, but I really like to read so you can't blame me"

"I can kind of see why you like the library now"

"There's books everywhere, what more could I want?"

"Yeah"

We drifted off into awkward silence for few moments before Bella's house phone began ringing from downstairs.

"I'll go get that" Bella said as she left the room. As she walked, I could hear her soft footsteps along the landing and down the stairs before her voice drifted up, although I could not hear what she was saying.

I walked around Bella's room some more noticing the pictures of her and some lady. She looked a lot like her but older, tanner, with more laugh lines and streaks of blonde in her hair. I picked up the one on her bedside table to study it closer.

Bella looked about 7 or 8 and was stood in front of a load of trees, beside her stood the lady in the previous pictures. Both were smiling brightly into the camera.

At that point I noticed how different Bella looked and not just because of her age. In the picture, Bella looked happy and free unlike now, now she looked burdened and as though she'd aged far more.

"That's my mum" I turned around in surprise to see Bella standing there.

"I kinda guessed" I put the picture back down and sat on the bed.

"We were in South America, on holiday, I was 7 at the time"

"Oh, did you have fun?"

"Yeah I did, from what I can remember"

"Was it your dad who took the picture?" I asked.

"No" she paused "He wasn't with us"

"What too much crime in Forks?" I joked to lighten the mood a little.

"Umm, no" she laughed.

"Where's your mum?" I asked "I haven't seen her"

Bella looked at me strangely for a moment "She's in Jacksonville"

"On holiday?" I asked confused.

"No, she lives there"

"Alone? Wait no, with your brother right, why? Wouldn't it make more sense for them to be here with you guys?"

"Jasper, my parent's are divorced" Bella said as she sat down next to me.

My eyes widened in surprised as things began to click.

"Oh geez Bella, I didn't realise"

"It's okay, how would you know?" she shrugged casually. "It happened years ago when I was a kid, I don't even remember it"

"Oh, so you live here with your dad?" I asked slowly.

"Yeah, it's just the two of us"

"So you guys must be pretty close"

She sighed "Yeah I guess, I mean we talk and stuff but not much because we're both quiet people, but I know he cares. I wouldn't mind if we were closer, but we don't share a lot of the same interests. He likes sports and fishing, I like reading"

"Do you not try to watch sports?"

"I do but I can never seem to understand the rules"

"I could teach you one day, if you wanted"

"Really?" she beamed "That would mean a lot, Charlie tries but I just don't understand"

"Well, I'm sure I'll be able to teach you. Obviously you see Charlie because you live with him but do you see your mum much?"

"Umm, not really, she emails me and calls sometimes but that's pretty much it" As Bella said it, I couldn't detect any sadness in her voice and it made me wonder what kind of relationship they shared.

"You've lived in Forks your whole life right?"

"No, when my parents split up, my mum took me with her but then when I was eight I moved back here-"

"And then you met Lil and the Cullens?" I asked.

"Right, they moved here a bit after me though but when I was 15 I moved back with my mum and then came back here at the beginning of the year"

"Wow, that is a lot of moving around"

"Yeah, but despite everything I'm glad I ended up here in Forks, with Charlie" she paused and in the barest of whispers she added "and you"

I couldn't stop the grin that spread across my face.

"I'm glad too that despite everything you're here in Forks"

"It's really not that bad because there are some nice people here, not everyone is as hostile as _some people_" she said subtly hinting at Alice and some other people.

"I figured, you know at lunch the other day, Angela got into a mini argument with Lauren and Jessica about you"

"Yeah she told me about that" she blushed slightly and I wondered why.

"She's a good friend"

"I know, I'm lucky to have her as one"

"They mentioned something about a Ben?"

"Yeah, he's her boyfriend. They've been together for years"

"That's nice"

"I know" she turned excitedly to face me "They're so cute together and it's amazing to see the love between them, it's like wow, because they're both quiet so they're not making out in the hallways and stuff like that but when you see them doing really simple things for each other, you can really see the love and no matter what anyone says about them, they just don't care"

"What do you mean?"

"Angela's taller than Ben and that kind of brakes that stereotypical image that the guy should be taller but they don't care. It's just nice to see love that's honest and pure and true, love that has trust and faith in it, love that as a result is unbreakable" she said sadly, her eyes wistful.

"Is that how you define love?" I asked.

She bit her lip for a moment, drawing my attention to them once again "Kind of, but I think it's deeper than that, it's kind of when you can't live without the other person, you can't think of anything else but them, you dream about them, their happiness is your happiness and all those other clichés" she paused "How would you define love?"

I thought for a moment, how would I define love? "I'm not sure" I eventually said "I'll get back to you on that"

"Promise?"

"Promise, do you want me to pinky swear as well?" I teased.

She hit me jokingly on the shoulder in response.

"Jasper, sometime next week, we should meet up for the project"

"Yeah, I agree. How about next Wednesday?"

"Why Wednesday?"

"I don't know, it just seemed like a good day"

"O-kay" she said slowly "Wednesday it is then"

"What do you want to start with?"

"How about researching how Hitler actually came to power before anything else?"

"Yeah that's a good place. Are we typing or writing?"

"Definitely typing, my writing looks like a 6 year olds" she said grinning.

"I'm sure it doesn't Bella"

"Your right, a 6 year olds writing is miles better than my scrawl" she lay back on her bed and I lay down next to her.

We were silent, there was nothing but the sound of the occasional car passing by, the wind as it howled and the tree as it tapped outside her bedroom window.

The silence was comfortable.

"There's a tree outside my house"

"Yeah I saw that" I turned to face her "Have you ever snuck out before?"

"Me? No, I've never really had to before, my dad's hardly ever home and plus knowing me as I climbed out the tree I'd probably break my leg in the process"

"So you're a klutz"

"More than a klutz, it's like, if I can get hurt or get someone hurt, I will. I'm actually known on a first name basis at the hospital"

"Lucky" I commented dryly.

"Aren't I?" Bella laughed.

"How many bones have you broken then?"

"Tons"

"Like what?"

"My ankle, my wrist, my femur, my arm, several fingers as well as a couple of other bones…."

"That's a lot"

"Yeah, what have you broken?"

"Nothing reallly, I sprained my wrist once when I was kid, I fell out of a tree and I dislocated my shoulder once"

"Anything else?"

"Err, no I think that's pretty much it"

"Your list is really tame compared to mine"

"Bella any other normal person's list will be tame compared to your list"

"I guess, my dad calls me a walking time bomb"

"So he should if you get hurt as much as you say you do"

Bella opened her mouth to say something before stopping halfway and starting again "Are you doing anything for the fete?"

"Uhh, no, I don't think so. Lil mentioned something about me helping out at the dunk tank or something but I'm not sure"

"You know what you could do and this is just an idea" Bella said hesitantly "You said you draw right, well I was thinking that you could do caricatures of people"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I reckon you could raise loads of money that way because I'm sure lots of people will want to get they're picture done. There isn't a lot to set up or anything, all you really need is a table or something" she paused "You'll also be really original because there hasn't been one in the fete before"

I contemplated it for a moment before smiling at Bella "That's a good idea and it doesn't require me getting soaked"

"What a shame for the female population of Forks then" Bella said laughingly, before clamping a hand over her mouth and blushing at what she had just said. "I…I didn't mean that you, no I mean that you-" she sat up, staring straight ahead with an embarrassed expression on her face.

I placed a hand on her shoulder as I sat up.

"It's okay Bella, I get what you mean. There's no need to feel embarrassed but that's not to say that blush isn't cute" I teased.

Her face whipped round to face me in surprise and her blush deepened but she simply smiled and ducked her head slightly.

"You have to sign up before the end of the week" she said quietly.

"Yeah, Lil told me"

Bella cocked her head as she looked at me.

"Why do you call her that?"

"Lil? I dunno, it's kind of because I've abbreviated her middle name Lillian which was what I knew her by when we first met and also because she's my 'lil sister'"

"Oh, it's really sweet" Bella said after a moment.

"What do you mean?"

"Like how, you've got a nickname for her and everything, you guys must be pretty close right?"

"Yeah, we are in a way" I said thinking back to this morning. "I'm glad that she's my sister though, I always wanted one and then I just got one"

"Well, I guess it worked out in a way"

"I guess it did, Lil's mum's nice, I mean she didn't have to take me in but she did and she doesn't treat me any differently"

"How come you only moved in with her now?" she paused "Again, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to"

"I told you Bella, you can ask me anything"

"Right"

"After my parent's….died, Lil's mum said that I could move in with her but I refused, I guess I wasn't ready to leave Texas yet and so I moved in with my Nan but then she's old, she's got arthritis and is diabetic and so she got put in a nursing home because that's where she can get the help she needs and everything, then I came to Forks and it was for the best I guess there wasn't really much left in Texas for me and I guess I was just clinging on for no reason"

"That must have been awful Jasper"

"Not as awful as you'd think, her health's not that bad according to the doctor and she's in pretty good condition. She promised to write to me"

"That's really nice"

"Yeah, I love my nan" I said smiling a goofy smile "Are you doing anything for the fete?"

"Umm, no, I can't even imagine what I'd do, as it is, I don't think I'm even going"

"Come on Bella, if you don't want to do anything, you can at least sit with me. You can be like my assistant or something sharpening my pencils and getting out fresh paper for me to draw on. Plus, I don't think you can get hurt doing that"

"Ever heard of poking someone's eye out with a pencil or of paper cuts? Like I said, if I can get hurt, I will but I might come and sit with you, maybe"

"Why maybe?"

"Jasper do you realise that this is a very public fete, everyone will see us"

"So, am I not allowed to be friends with who I want?"

"Yeah but-"

"But what Bella?"

"I just don't want them to be as horrible to me as they are to you, they tend to turn on people who are associated with me"

"I'm not sure if you realise this Bella but I really don't care what these people think especially if they can think so low of and be horrible to someone as nice as you"

"I'm really not that nice"

"Yes you are Bella and I can tell that after knowing you for what, let's see, I started on Wednesday, it's Saturday now, so four days Bella"

She lowered her head and stared hard at the duvet for a moment before I felt her warm and small hand curling around mine.

"I'm really glad I met you Jasper" she smiled at me and in that moment, she looked just like she did back in that picture.

Happy and free.

"I'm glad I met you too"

xXx

Aww, who's gushing right now? I am, I felt that this was a good place to end the chapter, coming up more Drama! In this chapter, I've left you guys some clues as to what happened, as well as there being some other clues in previous chapters.

Happy New Year!


	7. Chapter 7

Hey everyone, sorry for the late update and sorry for not replying to the reviews but I read all of them!

This chapter's kind of short compared to my other ones but don't worry there's a reason for that and it will be so worth it when you find out why

xXx

**Chapter Seven**

Sunday was a quiet day. I didn't see Bella although we texted a couple of times throughout the day. After church, like me, Lil also opted to stay at home and we passed the time watching movies. At the moment, we were sat on the couch watching You, Me and Dupree.

"Lil?" I said turning to face her.

"Yeah?" Lil said still laughing at a particularly funny bit.

"I know what I'm going to do for the fete"

"Really?" Lil stopped laughing and turned to face me. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to do caricatures"

"That's a great idea" Lil beamed "There's never been one before"

"Yeah, I know"

Lil looked at me confused for a moment.

"Bella told me" I said by way of an explanation.

"Oh, well it's a really good idea of yours"

"Bella came up with it"

"She knows you draw?" she asked surprised.

"Yeah, it kind of came up a couple of days ago"

"Well, it's a good idea. Has she seen any of your stuff?"

"Not yet" I said without thinking.

"Not yet" Lil repeated slowly "So, she will one day?"

"Yeah, I guess. I mean we're doing this History project together and as part of the promotion bits, I'm going to recreate some of it to make it more original"

"Was that Bella's idea too?" she asked sarcastically.

"No, this one was all mine" I said confused at Lil's sudden change of tone.

"Nice to see you can use your brain from time to time"

"I do try" I grinned.

We watched the movie in silence for a few moments, though I could see Lil, out of the corner of my eye, turning to look at me every now and again.

"Were you and Bella ever friends?" I asked suddenly. I could see Lil visibly tense at the question.

"Yeah, we were at one point" she said softly.

"And now you're not"

"Now we're not"

"Was it your choice?"

"Kind of" she paused "I mean at the time I thought that what I was doing was right, but then I wasn't so sure any more and by then it was too late, we couldn't be friends anymore"

"Says who?"

"Says everything. Like circumstance, people, there were just too many factors stopping us from being friends"

"And now?"

"Now it's too late, we're too different, we've drifted too far apart and far too much has happened for us to be like we used to be" Lil said defiantly.

"Who says it has to be the same, it can be different but that could be what makes it better" I suggested not wanting to make her angrier.

"I don't know Jasper; I don't really want to think about it right now, it's easier not to"

"Okay, if you say so" I paused "One more question"

"You're giving me a headache Jasper" Lil said massaging her forehead.

"Please" I begged.

She thought for a moment before relenting. "Fine, one more but then you'll shut up and watch the movie, one of my favourite parts are coming up"

"Okay, when did this separation happen?"

Lil squinted her eyes for a moment, thinking.

"Last year around June, but it was really more of a growing thing. June was just when it came to a head and then it just got worse"

"Oh" I said thinking.

Everything that happened, happened around June time, which was the catalyst but it didn't make any sense considering according to what Bella had said she hadn't lived here since she was fifteen, then what possible reason could everyone have for hating her when she wasn't even living here at the time.

The movie finished and I got up to put another one in but Lil stopped me as I did so.

"Jasper, I'm sorry for being kind of short with you, it's just kind of a sensitive subject and I….I've been harbouring a lot of guilt about it" Lil said.

"It's okay" I lifted my arm and she leaned into it.

"I don't know what to do" she whispered. I figured that this was in response to her guilt. What did she do?

A thought came into my head, Lil feeling guilty about whatever happened with Bella obviously proved Bella's innocence but that still didn't make any sense. I figured that Lil had been one of the main people against Bella, yet Lil now felt guilty about whatever she had done but the rest of our year group still seemed to hate Bella or at least enjoyed seeing her miserable and they didn't feel guilty about it.

Like Alice for example.

Did they know the truth? Or did they choose to label Bella as guilty simply because they could?

"Lil, just….do what you think is right, okay, and not what other people think is right" I said hoping that I helped her.

"Okay" Lil sighed against me.

Lil and I watched another movie and I couldn't help but feel that I was left with more questions than answers.

xXx

School.

So far it hadn't been as bad as I thought it would be.

I walked in and immediately spotted Bella going into the library, I looked at the bag in my hand and debated whether to go in straight after her or to my locker before deciding to go to my locker first. History was on the opposite end of the school to my locker and going to the library then rushing to my locker then to class would possibly make me late.

On the way to my locker, I recognised a few familiar faces along the way and smiled and said hello. Though I was still new, I was glad that I wasn't on show like I had been last week. Apparently the heat had been taken off of me due to something happening at someone's party last weekend, I think it was Eric's one.

I got to my locker and entered the combination before dumping everything in it apart from the books that I needed. I began making my way to my locker before I was side lined by Emmett and Edward.

"Jasper, wait up" Emmett called out.

"Hey guys, what's up?" I asked.

"You know the usual, but I just wanted to remind you that try outs are this week and everything, on the school field. Try not to be late, okay?" he said slapping me on the shoulder and calling goodbye over his shoulder as Edward followed behind him after saying goodbye as well.

I continued my journey to the library and as I sat down opposite Bella I realised that Emmett hadn't told me what day try outs were but I figure that, that didn't matter and I'd find out from him some other time.

"How was your Sunday?" Bella asked hesitantly.

"It was alright, went to church, hung out with Lil and watched movies. Not much really"

"You go to church?" Bella asked surprised.

"Yeah" I said rubbing the back of my neck. Bella didn't ask any more questions about it which gave me a chance to question her.

"Bella, you told me that you moved in with your mum when you were fifteen and then moved back here at the beginning of the year"

"Yeah"

"So you didn't live here for years?" I clarified.

"Yeah, why?" Bella asked confused.

"No reason"

"O-kay" she said looking at me weirdly.

"What did you do on Sunday?"

"Umm, I hung out with Charlie, did the laundry and I went down to La Push to see what Jake was doing about my car"

"It's fixed already?"

"No actually, Jake said that he might not be able to fix it this time"

"Seriously?"

"I know, I couldn't believe it but he's trying"

A thought popped in to my head "How did you get to school then?"

"My dad, umm gave me a ride this morning but after today I don't know how I'm going to get to school because my dad works really early some mornings and then late some others" she paused for a moment "I guess I'll have to walk or something"

"How about I give you lifts?" I suggested hesitantly, although we were bonding quite a bit, I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean it's on my way to school" kind of "and we can talk about….the project" as if. I just wanted to spend more time with her.

"But are you sure? I mean I don't want to put you out or anything"

I leaned over and squeezed her hand.

"Believe me, you won't" I smiled at her gently and was awarded as her sweet blush spread across her cheeks.

"Okay, if you're sure because really, I can walk"

I mock frowned at her "If you did walk, I'd just have to ambush you every morning and you know that could get tedious, for you"

She smiled shyly looking down at her hands and I knew that my offer was accepted.

"So, umm, you and Lil used to be friends?" I said awkwardly so that it came out almost like a question.

Bella stared at me blankly for a moment before she nodded her head slowly, the smile slipping from her face.

"Yeah, we used to"

"Do you mind me asking when you became friends?"

She shook her head slowly, her ponytail waving behind her head.

"We, we became friends after she moved here, I was 9 and then a year later the Cullens came and we were friends" her voice was lifeless, as though she were talking about someone else far, far away.

She looked almost as though she were in a trance, stuck in memories of the past, it was a look I had worn many, many times before.

"And now you're not" I said snapping Bella out of it.

"Now we're not" she forced a smile onto her face "But hey as Marilyn Monroe said, 'sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together'

"Yeah I guess" I said my voice trailing off.

We sat in silence until the bell rang before heading off to class.

xXx

The next morning I headed off to Bella's house, I wasn't sure what time I was supposed to get to Bella's considering that I hadn't seen her for the rest of the day, so I set off a bit earlier than usual instead.

After pulling up in her driveway, I calmed my nerves before getting out of the car and ringing the bell twice. I waited a moment but when there was no reply, I got ready to ring the bell again before it was suddenly pulled open and I came face to face with Chief Swan.

Although his gruff expression didn't change, I didn't think he was pleased by the downright horrified expression on my face which I quickly changed.

"H-hello sir" I stammered out nervously.

He assessed me for a moment before nodding slowly "You must be Jasper"

"Yes sir" I said clearing my throat.

He watched me for a few moments before sticking out his hand and I shook it steadily although I was sure that I could hear the bones breaking.

"I'm here to pick up Bella…..for school" I added.

"Yes, I heard about that but Bella's not feeling well so…." he trailed off.

"Oh, ok" I rubbed my neck awkwardly. "Could you tell her I came and to feel better?"

"Of course"

I turned to walk away before facing the Chief again "Have a good day sir"

"You too" and as he closed the door, I could see Bella sitting on the stairs watching me, our eyes met as the door slammed shut.

I didn't see or hear from Bella for the rest of the week.

xXx

So yeah. Next chapter will be longer.

Promise.


	8. Chapter 8

Hey guys, remember me? I am so sorry I haven't updated in a while, my laptop broke and I had to send it away for repairs but I'm back now with that chapter I promised you.

xXx

**Chapter Eight**

The following Monday, I arrived at Bella's house to find no one at home, so I made my way to school hell bent on getting answers. We were supposed to meet up to work on our project, but we couldn't due to Bella refusing to reply to any of my texts or answer any of my calls.

I went to her house a few times and bumped into her dad twice but both times he simply told me she was sick, I would smile and ask him to tell her I came by and to feel better. He said he would.

He was lying of course.

Plus what's the point in telling someone who was already well to get better?

Last week there were football try outs coincidently on the Wednesday Bella and I were supposed to meet up on, so in a way it's kind of good that she was avoiding me because it would have put me in the awkward position of choosing between Bella and try outs but then again it would be so much more than just that, in a way it would be me deciding who I'd choose between Bella and everyone else and I really didn't want to have to make a choice.

However, since Bella has backed off, Alice has been coming on full force. I'm not sure where it came from but suddenly Alice was being _too_ nice. It wasn't entirely obvious but considering we hardly know each other, it was a bit much.

Take me walking to English last week, all of a sudden Alice is holding my arm and chatting my ear off before I even take in the fact that she's there. She has so much energy and combined with the fact that she's quite short, it's quite endearing.

For most guys any way.

I prefer brunettes.

Especially the one who seems to be avoiding me for some reason.

Back to Alice though, it wasn't just that way that she was being strange, it was also the things she'd said last week like at lunch how she'd randomly said 'Now it's just the two of us'. Was there a third person I was unaware of?

I pulled up into the school car park, angrily; I grabbed my stuff from the car and stormed to the library forgoing my usual morning visit to my locker. I pushed open the library door which hit the wall with a resounding thud and causing the librarian to glare at me but that wasn't important. What was important was the brunette tucked away in the corner reading a book.

I walked up to her and stood waiting for her to answer me but instead of acknowledging my presence she continued to ignore me and read on. Frustrated, I grabbed her book and threw it on to the table beside her but she still wouldn't meet my eyes.

What was up with her?

Things had been so good on the weekend and now she was acting as though I didn't exist.

"Bella" I said still standing over her.

"Bella"

"Bella, please answer me" but she wouldn't.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked but still no reply.

"Please, just look at me, please" I begged.

She raised her head and I could see tears pooling in them.

I crouched down in front of her and held her hands, worried.

"What's wrong Bella?" she shook her head and the tears fell onto her cheeks.

"Please, just tell me if I did something because if I did, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry, just don't ignore me"

"It's not your fault" she said her voice shaking.

"Then whose is it?"

"Mine, it's all my fault Jasper. I shouldn't have come back here, it was a mistake."

"Why, what happened, what brought this on? Did, did someone say something to you?"

No reply.

"Bella?"

"It doesn't matter Jasper, I'm being pathetic as always, I need to, I need…" she was breathing erratically and tears were still pooling.

She pushed me away and stood up getting her things together just as the bell rang overhead. She couldn't possibly be considering going to class in the condition she was in. Tears were still streaming down her face. Her eyes and nose were red and her behaviour definitely was not right.

More importantly though, she would be the perfect bait for the students of Forks who were almost like piranha's ready to pounce on her when she was most vulnerable and knowing them they would enjoy it a lot.

"You're not going anywhere" I said grabbing her arm. She flinched as I did so and I loosened my grip slightly.

"Are you okay?" She turned away from me, not replying.

I pulled up the sleeve of her arm and saw a mirage of yellow-green bruises on her arm. They were small and thin in a line and slightly surrounded her arm.

I furrowed my brow, reaching out gently to touch the bruises that marred her flawless skin.

I didn't think I'd held her that hard.

Bella feebly attempted to get away, even hitting me on the chest slightly and pinching my arm before giving up.

"Jasper, let me go, please" she whimpered. The look in her eyes were beyond despondent, hopeless even.

The thing about Bella is that her eyes are extremely expressive, she could hide the emotions on her face but if you looked carefully you could see the way she was feeling reflecting in the brown orbs of her eyes.

Like now, I didn't even need to hear what she had to say because the way she was feeling was showing so clearly in her eyes. My heart ached for her, she looked, not weak, but open, vulnerable, scared like a child that goes around all day pretending that they don't need anyone's help or attention but deep down inside, they're screaming for it, for someone to care and to look after them, if only for a minute.

For someone to be her strength.

She took a shuddering breath before falling into me. I was still holding onto one of her arms which I let go of, before wrapping them around her. We didn't move or say anything, simply stood still and that was enough.

After a while, Bella pulled back. My arms were still around her and we were still close but I felt a million miles away from her. She'd put a wall up distancing herself from me.

"Jasper, I need to go to class" her voice was quiet, no emotion, no nothing.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I do"

"Why?" her eyes were staring hard at the ground as her eyebrows furrowed.

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you need to go to class?"

"Because, Jasper…."

"Because what?"

"Because I do, I just do" her voice spiked a little, panic.

"Ok"

Her eyes widened in surprise.

"But I just want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that you need to go and I'll let you. Tell me you're fine and I'll let you go. Just look me in the eyes and tell me the honest truth"

"Jasper, you're being stupid, let me go"

"I'm just asking for a simple thing Bella, look me in the eyes and tell me that you're fine, that you want to go to class"

Her mouth opened and closed, a sigh escaped her lips.

"Bella?"

No response.

"I'm waiting"

I heard her snuffle.

"I…I'm fine Jasper" she stuttered.

"Look me in the eyes"

She didn't.

"I'm fine" she repeated sounding a lot steadier.

"You wanna know something?" I mused "You are a terrible liar"

"I'm not lying" she bit out indignantly.

"Then look me in the eyes!"

"I can't" she cried almost immediately. "I can't"

Tears began falling down her cheeks again and her eyes finally lifted to mine.

"You're not fine Bella, are you?"

"I don't want to go to class, I'm scared" she whimpered "I'm scared Jasper"

Staring down at the broken girl in front of me, I knew I had to do something and in that second I made a quick decision.

"Then you don't have to"

"What?" she looked up at me.

"You don't have to" I looked around quickly "Come on"

I grabbed her book and held onto her arm pulling her out the library doors. I checked left and right, making sure that the halls were empty before pulling her towards the exit.

"Jasper, Jasper, where are we going?" Bella whispered from beside me.

"I told you. You don't have to go to class today"

"So where are we going?"

"We're ditching" I smirked at her as we turned down the next hallway.

Voices filtered down the hallway as we neared the exit and I quickly pulled us down a side hallway leading to the outside grounds.

"Oh my gosh, we're really doing this" Bella said almost awe struck.

"That we are"

We ran across the grass, damp with left over morning dew.

"Jasper about-" Bella shrieked as she slipped and fell to the ground.

"Hey, you alright?" I asked as I helped her up.

"Yeah, yeah" she wiped her muddy hands on her jeans.

"You sure?" I asked concerned.

"Yeah" she said taking another step before almost slipping again.

"I don't think you are" I said stepping towards her.

"J-jasper what are you doing?" she screamed as I hoisted her up over my shoulder and began making my way towards my car.

"Speeding things up, you're kind of slow and clumsy" I laughed as she hit me on the shoulder and turned my head looking at the school.

I faced forward confused before glancing back again squinting. I could have sworn I just saw Alice, staring at us, glaring.

I got to my car and helped Bella in before getting into the driver seat and taking off.

"So where are we going?" Bella asked nervously from beside me as I drove. The roads of Forks were emptier than usual; it was eerie as though it were a ghost town.

"Not sure" I lied. I knew exactly where I was taking her, back to mine.

"Oh"

"We could go to my house" I suggested although I wasn't really giving her a choice.

"Umm, are you sure, I mean…"

"What?"

"I don't think that, that's a very good idea, it's just, you know…" her wide eyes stared back at me, fear in them.

"Where would you like to go?" I asked, disappointed.

"The park, it'll be quiet there, private and, and we can…..talk" she said after a moment.

I furrowed my brows, contemplating before asking for directions.

She was right, more than anything we needed to talk but it should be on her terms and where she felt comfortable or knowing Bella she'll just withdraw into herself and that'd be it.

xXx

We pulled up to the park after not too long, it was relatively big considering the size of Forks with multiple swing sets, slides and even a roundabout.

Apart from the odd mother with her child, the place was essentially deserted.

We walked round until we got to a park bench and sat down, not saying anything. I wasn't sure what to say. The mood had shifted completely knowing we were going to…talk.

Such a simple word.

Talk.

Four letters long.

Yet for some reason it had me dreading that something absolutely terrible was going to happen or had already happened.

I felt worse for Bella, having to tell me all about it, she's quite a private person, strong and it must have killed her to fall apart like that and here I am potentially asking her to do it again.

It's cruel of me to do so, but I _needed_to know, to make things right, better.

To help her.

Bella's feet shuffled awkwardly on the ground below her as she cleared her throat.

"Wh-where would you like me to start?" her eyes were fixed on a point in the distance although I doubted she was even really seeing anything.

"The beginning" I paused "After we left the library, we went to class and things were normal for the rest of the day but then you didn't come to study hall"

"I went home"

"Why?"

"Because Alice told me to"

I turned to face her in shock but she hadn't changed position, I thought back to that day, Bella hadn't turned up to study hall and Alice had walked in extremely late, I hadn't taken much notice of Alice's absence because I'd been too focused on Bella and I definitely hadn't realised that they could be linked.

I was such an idiot.

I definitely hadn't thought that there was anything odd about Alice's excuse of 'helping to clear the school of useless things' I had just assumed that she meant throwing away things the school didn't need anymore.

Edward's expressions had been odd, he'd regarded Alice with a knowing look as though he knew she was lying yet he didn't say anything and Lil, her face was weary.

But once again, I picked up on none of these things at the time.

"When did Alice tell you this?" My voice was hoarse but I needed to confirm my suspicions.

"Study hall" she paused and bit her lip "I was running late because I'd been talking to one of my teachers and by the time I was on my way to class, the halls were empty, at least I thought they were" she chuckled bitterly, darkly.

I had never seen Bella talk this way before, it was…scary. I felt unnerved.

"Alice just….came out of nowhere and she was talking to me all bubbly and sweet, like normal, like before" her voice was reminiscent and a nostalgic look had entered her eyes, her mind was far, far away from this moment. "I wasn't paying attention to what she was saying until she asked if we could talk privately and she grabbed my arm and pulled me into an empty classroom and it was like a switch was flicked"

"What do you mean?"

"I can't explain it, like she literally became another person and then she started speaking and….and it was about you, Jasper, she was telling me to stay away from you or else, she started, she was…she was saying how you…you were just going to turn on me, like everyone else and how she was just looking out for me and how you….you" Bella squeezed her eyes shut as her voice broke.

"What Bella?" I put my hand on hers and squeezed lightly.

"She was saying how you and her, you were…..it doesn't matter" she looked at me as she wiped away her falling tears only for them to be replaced by more. "It doesn't matter Jasper, nothing really matters anymore. I….I don't think we should be friends anymore, it's better for me, you and….and everyone really" she sniffed. "It's safer, it's easier than…."

"Why though?" I leaned forward touching my forehead to hers and closing my eyes. It was physically killing me to see her like this. She didn't deserve this, no one deserved this. Apart from a few people like Angela and her boyfriend Bella was pretty much alone. She was going through so much and she was handling this burden alone.

"I don't wanna hurt anymore Jasper, I hate hurting but I do, everyday, all the time. I can't get away from it and I know" she swallowed thickly "I know that one day, you're going to hurt me too, it may not be today, or tomorrow or next week but you're going to hurt me, just like everyone else" She started crying, gasping for breath.

I could feel her tears running down my cheeks, we were sharing them, but I didn't want to just share her tears. I wanted to share her hurt, her loneliness, her pain because maybe then I'd be able to take some of it away from her.

"I won't Bella, I promise you"

"You're not the first person to promise me that and the last person that did, hurt me in the end. They always do that, people make promises but circumstances make them break them" Bella sat back on the bench and took a deep breath before wiping away her tears.

We sat in silence as the Forks wind blew around us, both of us lost in our own thoughts. I felt Bella's small, warm hand curl around mine where it was next to me. I looked at her but she was still staring out into the distance, biting her lip.

"Everything will be alright, won't it?" her voice was small, like a child speaking to their parents.

"Yeah, everything will be alright" I squeezed her hand reassuringly.

She smiled slightly in my direction.

"Bella" I paused "Why did you avoid me then?"

She looked at me, confused.

"You heard what I said Jasper"

"Yeah I know but, why did you listen, why didn't you pick up my calls or reply to my texts, even if it was just to tell me to leave you alone"

Bella sighed, removing her hand from mine.

"You don't get it"

"Then explain it to me" I could feel the irritation, the anger rising.

"I already have"

"No Bella, you told me what Alice said and what you did but you didn't really say why you listened to Alice, despite the fact that it's been, how long since she spoke to you. In fact the only time I've ever seen her speak to you, albeit indirectly was when she shouted in class"

"Jasper leave it"

"Leave what Bella? I'm asking you a simple question why did you listen to Alice, despite everything that's happened" I shouted drawing the attention to the small amount of people in the park.

"Don't shout at me Jasper"

"Then stop being so difficult"

Then it clicked.

"That's not all Alice told you, is it?"

Bella eyes stared guardedly at me.

"Wha-what do you mean?"

"I mean you're hiding something from me"

"Leave me alone" she bit out after a moment.

"Huh?"

"Go away" she breathed out slowly.

"Why, Bella, please just answer-"

"Fuck off Jasper!" Bella shouted. "Just go away and leave me the hell alone"

I could do no more than simply sit there and stare at Bella. There were clearly more sides to her than I knew, not that I particularly knew that much about Bella although I thought I did.

"Fine" she said suddenly knocking me out of my thoughts "If you won't go, I will" She stood up and started walking away.

"Bella?" I called out after her but she didn't turn around simply walking faster, as I sat glued almost to the bench "Bella!"

But she'd walked out the park gates and was gone.

xXx

I was stunned.

Shocked.

Bewildered.

But most of all I was _worried._

After Bella had stormed off angrily away from me, I simply drove to her house intent on waiting for her there. Naturally I was going to arrive first so I planned what I was going to say to her and rehearsed it and rehearsed it and rehearsed it while I waited for her.

And waited.

And waited.

I glanced at my watch, shocked to realise that 3 hours had passed and Bella hadn't returned. I checked my phone to see if she'd tried to call or text me but simply found missed calls and messages from Lil and her friends.

The rain had started a while back and had yet to relent. I lay back on the chair and stared blankly out the window thinking back to my life in Texas. I wasn't sure if it'd ever rained as badly as this yet in Forks this was the norm.

The thing is though, the people in Forks and where I lived in Texas were very similar in that talk spreads quickly and everyone seems to know everyone's business like after the incident, everyone I went people would stare at me with pity in their eyes, knowing exactly what happened, knowing about Lil.

When I went out, especially on the days when it was scorching, I'd keep my shirt on to hide the main scar on my arm. I sighed touching it on instinct, I remembered my mother's scream, I remembered the blood, I remembered the dizziness and I remembered the darkness.

I shook my head to get rid of the thoughts, I didn't want to go back to that place.

I tapped my fingers against the dashboard, staring absentmindedly out the window. I could see a figure staggering through the rain, I squinted my eyes and could see that it was Bella. I opened the door and ran up to her and even though she was drenched, I could see she'd been crying.

Her clothes clung to her and her hair hung wet, sticking to her face. I brushed the parts covering her face and tucked them behind her ear. A sob escaped her mouth as she buried her face in my chest.

I simply held her again that day as her body convulsed against me from the force of the tears fighting their way out of her body, saying nothing at all as I waited for her to say something, anything.

But when she did speak, her voice was small and feeble. One simple line that broke my heart.

"She was right, he didn't want me"

xXx

How was that?


	9. Chapter 9

**So I haven't updated in a while, sorry again but here's a decent length chapter to hopefully tide you over. More stuff is revealed.**

**Chapter 9**

"Pass me the lighter"

"Are you sure this is safe?" Bella asked.

"Yeah, trust me. I've done this a load of times"

"When?"

"Back in Texas, some nights it was fun to do cause I was just so bored"

"Okay" she said handing it to me.

I leaned over lighting the little gas lamp and watching as the flame came to life before closing the little door on it.

I looked across from where I was sitting to see Bella's face lit up by the low glow of the lamp. Her face was illuminated in the most beautiful way, half hidden by the shadow.

I couldn't imagine how anyone could hurt her, she was so lovely as a person, as everything.

It was nice here, just the two of us, quiet, peaceful. I could think and decide what to do next, especially after what had happened earlier. My first thought had been to get Bella dry and warm, her normally pale skin was translucent and her blue veins stood out against her.

Her little hands that grasped me were ice cold.

Her desperate pleas had broken my heart and once again I could feel this innate need to protect and watch over her. I had a strange feeling of responsibility over her, I felt as though it were my duty to look after her, keep her safe and be her support.

I didn't understand these feelings and so I simply pushed them aside. Bella had enough to deal with without me adding my own confusion to the mix.

The thing that bugged me, no, gnawed at the corners of my mind was the fact that I still had no idea what had happened that could cause so many people to hate her for no apparent reason. I believed Bella in that she was innocent and people simply took things too far just because they could, just because they enjoyed watching people suffer.

That it was I don't understand about the human psyche, we have this strange built in need to be voyeuristic such as with bull fighting, it's gruesome and bloody yet we can't tear our eyes away from it. Perhaps we shout out in disgust or watch enthralled, either we simply do nothing active, we just watch taking nothing away from the experience.

It was purely entertainment.

The bull is weak compared to the power of man and once they enter that ring they will not leave alive. They have no hope, no chance, no future. When the bull is slain and essentially suffers to death the crowd cheers the matador on, congratulates him but even on those rare days when the bull seems to gain an upper hand someone else simply comes and helps keep him down which is what humans do.

One on one we may be able to handle the situation, even barely but someone else is always there waiting to knock us down.

In Bella's case, this was pretty much all of Forks High School.

Alice shouted at Bella in class, Bella ignored it but then Lauren and Jessica got involved to help keep her down when they probably have no idea of what really happened.

Who actually knew?

The version of events that most of Forks hold could be radically different to the truth but does that matter to them. No. People don't want the truth, they want the pretty lie, the drama. They yearn for it, to see other's pain so that they don't have to face their own.

It's sad.

But right now at least, Bella wasn't. She was smiling, albeit only a small smile but a smile nonetheless.

It was a nice sight to see.

I watched Bella as she swallowed and prepared to say something.

She was nervous, I could tell. She bit her lip and wringed her hands before reaching up to tuck a non-existent strand of hair behind her ear.

"You were right" she began slowly "but you were wrong as well"

"What do you mean?" I was afraid of pushing her too much, in case I made her snap again.

"You were wrong in that I shouldn't have listened to Alice. I should have about some things and ignored her about others. You were right in that I was keeping something from you, something important"

"Bella you-"

"Jasper, please" she looked at me pleadingly "I guess I've kind of been in denial till now about everything, kind of, maybe I was just being optimistic or something but it just didn't feel real at times. None of it. Until today"

She paused sighing.

"Today Alice told me that he would never take me back, ever. That the way he felt about me wasn't real, it was simply childish puppy dog feelings. She said how I was just a play thing, something to pass the time and that we were never destined to last. She said how he'd never want me, that he'd never forgive me. She said that all of it, all of it was nothing" her voice cracked on the last word and a tear ran silently down her cheek. "He never truly cared but I just, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't hear it from her and just take it like that. I know Alice is bitter and vindictive and I knew she was trying to hurt me so I put it out of my mind"

"Then what?"

"Well I was fine, I think, until our talk and then everything kind of came flooding back and then I just wondered round Forks for a bit and before I knew it I ended up outside his door and then he was there and it was like nothing had changed but everything had. We were so close, I could touch him but he wasn't mine to touch, I mean he isn't mine to touch, not anymore. He was mine and I lost him"

Bella took a shuddering breath before taking a sip of water from her bottle.

"I had to ask, I just needed to know that it was real even though we don't have it anymore, I needed to know that his feelings, what we had, that it was something. So I asked and he, he confirmed everything that Alice had said. He said 'I don't love you and I will _never_ be yours' then he slammed the door in my face. I just stood there shocked, just shocked and then I walked away which is when the tears started"

She held onto her throat rubbing it.

"When we first got together, I thought that he was so perfect, a gentleman. He was everything to me, everything was good and then my mum made me move back in with her and Phil and then everything went downhill from there. It was the beginning of the end"

"The end?"

"Yeah"

"Of what?"

"Everything"

"Bella"

"It was the end of my friendships; it was the end of my happiness in Forks"

"What else?"

"It was the end of me and Edward"

She laughed.

"I sound so dramatic don't I? I don't know why I'm surprised by his reaction, I just I am because even though we kind of had a break up scene, he never really came out with anything like this"

"How long were you guys together?"

"About 5 years give or take. I was 12 when we first got together and we didn't break up until, until I was 16 or 17"

"Then you moved back to Forks?"

"A bit afterwards. I wanted to clear the air but that didn't work. I'm pretty certain it made things worse" she smiled wryly.

I heard the distant sound of a door slamming shut and my name being called out.

"I'll be right back" I said to Bella climbing out from underneath the fort we had built using pillows and duvet covers. It was strange, as soon as I'd climbed out from underneath everything just felt different, it was odd like we were in our own little bubble, separate from the world and all the bad stuff in it. We were safe in a way because it was just the two of us but out here there were other people, people who would happily watch us hurt and laugh about it.

I ran down the stairs, taking them two at a time and followed the sounds to the kitchen where Carmen was unloading the shopping. She stopped what she was doing to shoot me a smile and ask me to take a seat.

"How is she?"

"Umm better"

"I was going to make some chicken soup for her, just in case she's really sick. I mean when you brought her in she looked practically corpse like. I was truly scared"

"Same"

"It's strange seeing her in this house again, it's been….it's been a while" Carmen bit her lip as I saw tears fill her eyes.

"So her and Lil were close?"

"The closest, closer than she is to Alice. They had this strange bond. You see we moved here when Rosalie was only 9 as was Bella and they just hit it off on the first day and I was so sure it was going to be one of those friendships that lasted forever but people grow, drift apart yet…." She sighed putting some cans into the cupboard "That's just life, completely and totally unexpected. I can't help but hope though that one day they can overcome everything that happened"

I stood up from where I was sitting.

"When's Lil coming home?"

"Not for a while but I'll be sure to keep her out of your room in case Bella's still here"

"Thanks"

"Don't forget that the fete is tomorrow and you need to get there early to set up your things"

"Oh yeah, I completely forgot about that"

"It's meant to be clear skies tomorrow but if I were you I'd come prepared, just in case"

"Ummm, ok"

"Do you need anything, supplies or anything?" she asked. She was a really sweet person, I wasn't her kid but she took me in as though I were.

"No I'm alright but you should stop by during the day and I can do your picture"

"Maybe" she said with a smile "Now go back to Bella and take this, she loves these and take this"

"Thanks" I said.

As I began making my way back upstairs. I heard Carmen call out to me.

"By the way, don't think I'm not going to have a word with you about ditching school today" she said with a laugh.

As I reached my room, I pushed open the door, walked in and closed it behind me.

The room was enveloped in darkness except for the small glow of light that illuminated from under a small gap in the fort.

"Bella?" I called out in a whisper.

"Yeah?" I smiled hearing her sweet voice and watched as her head popped out from the gap.

"Nothing, I…I mean here" I said getting into the fort "Carmen asked me to give you this"

"Hershey kisses" she smiled "I love these"

She opened the pack and popped one in her mouth sucking on it gently. I was fascinated by the movement of her mouth moving ever so slightly, it was hypnotising. I could feel my heart beat increase.

"What's that?" she asked noticing the other stuff in my hand.

"Stuff for smores"

"I haven't had those in ages"

"Same" I smiled, I loved her enthusiasm, she was like an excited child. It was nice to know that something as simple as smores and chocolate could make her happy no matter how brief the happiness was.

We got to work making the smores laughing as we did so, everything felt carefree, light. It was great. After my fifth smore and Bella's third we began talking about our project and making plans to meet up, Emmett had said that I was pretty much guaranteed a place on the team so I needed to fit meeting up around that as well.

"We could come up with stuff to do, do them independently and then just meet up when we can to work on it together then we wouldn't have to worry about making a strict schedule or anything"

"I guess but I want to finish it as soon as possible so we have time to improve it"

"Trust me, we will have plenty of time"

We sat in silence for a moment.

"Are you going to the fete?" I asked. I figured that she was going to say no.

"Umm, I might actually. Angela and Ben have a stall so I guess I'll just hang out with them"

"Or" I smiled "You could help me out with my drawings, I mean I wouldn't even have the idea if it wasn't for you, so I'd be great if you could hang out with me"

Bella bit my lip. "Maybe but what about, you know…"

"So what?"

"So what?"

"Yeah, so what? Who gives a damn about them, this is between you and me Bella, just us"

"I know but I'm scared I guess, nervous" She looks down at her hands that were placed in her lap before looking at me with her big brown eyes.

"Come here" I said. Bella moved round to where I was sitting missing what I wanted her to do. "I mean…" instead of finishing my sentence I simply picked her up and placed her in my lap, surprising her.

She leaned into my shoulder wrapping one of her arms around my waist getting comfortable.

"I made such a fool out of myself today" she groaned "I feel so stupid. He;s probably told Alice and everyone and that's just more ammunition against me"

"It's going to be alright Bella, I promise"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I do"

Bella's hair rubbed against my cheek.

"I wish I hadn't freaked out on you. I wish I'd told you what had really happened instead of running away"

"It's okay, trust me you're not the first person to run away from a bad situation" it's what I'd done when I moved to Forks.

"I guess. I'm glad you're going to be there tomorrow though, everything always seems to work out when you're there"

"So I'm you're lucky charm?"

"No, you're my Shrek like you said"

"I'm you're Shrek"

"Yeah" Bella giggled getting more comfortable "And you're going to save me from the dragons of Forks"

"Definitely" I kissed the top of her head and then grinned.

I was her Shrek

xXx

I was here early setting up my stuff.

I'd gotten a pretty decent place thanks to Lil with another space to spread out and park my car nearby which made loading and unloading a whole lot easier. The sky was grey like most mornings but there weren't many clouds in the sky so I hoped the weather would keep like Carmen said it would.

I'd driven down at the same time as Lil and her friends to help her set up her kissing booth because my things wouldn't take too long. Most kids in the school were here doing something as it meant that you got the day off to basically hang around and do nothing, only a few people would probably turn up in school.

The fete was to begin at 9 and I'd been there since 7.30 because Lil's booth was more complicated than it looked to set up. It was about 8.40 and my stuff was ready so I decided to wander around a bit to see what other people were doing.

There were dunk tanks, rock climbing and the usual things like this but there were some strange things such as the science experiments that were set up for you to do. As I made my way back to my booth I noticed Angela and Ben setting up and wandered over.

"Hey guys" I said feeling slightly awkward. I hadn't really spoken to them much except for the odd 'hi' in the hallway.

"Hey Jasper" Angel responded enthusiastically whilst Ben simply waved hello "What are you doing?"

"Caricatures, over there " I said pointing in the direction of my booth.

"Oh that's really cool" I stared at there equipment mildly confused.

"What's all…what are you doing?"

"Pictures, graphic stuff, people can basically come over and get there pictures taken, we can edit it however they want, there is also a option to make a short video which can be edited and basically things like that"

"Sounds like fun"

"Trust me it is" Ben chimed in "You won't believe the weird stuff that people want done to them, it's hilarious"

We talked for a bit more before I headed back to my booth. Bella was still nowhere in sight but I'd expected that. I'd asked her to come in a bit later once the fete was in full swing, this way she could blend in with the crowd and feel less uncomfortable.

It was extremely endearing how nervous she was in a strange way, I couldn't help but find her more adorable especially because of the way she acted as a result, almost childlike. I loved it.

The fete kicked off not too long after and people seemed to arrive in the masses. People seemed to love the caricatures and so I was getting a pretty decent amount of business as was the kissing booth if the line was anything to go by. I was surprised by the fact that Emmett was so cool about Lil holding one, he seemed like the jealous, protective type then again he also looked like a bear but was a pretty nice guy.

I had just finished with a drawing when I looked up and saw Bella heading towards me, a shy smile on her face. Her hair was wavy and her cheeks were stained pink. She looked gorgeous. She wasn't wearing anything particularly eye grabbing yet in my eyes she was the most beautiful person here. My hands itched to draw her and I physically had to stop myself but one day I would, knowing Bella she's probably disagree but I didn't care, hopefully I could talk her round it.

"Hey" she said as she sat down beside me. She glanced around nervously.

"Hi, I'm glad you came"

"Yeah, well…." she trailed off a soft look in her eyes.

People had begun staring and talking but it was only a few passer-by's. I didn't care, I wanted people to know we were friends and knowing Forks the news would spread quickly after all it's not like anything interesting really happened here.

"So what do you need help with?" Bella asked twirling a piece of her hair.

"Not much really, pencil sharpening and the paper being set up each time"

"I can do that" a lady with a little girl walked over and I began drawing their pictures whilst Bella got acquainted with where everything was and when I was done she handed me a freshly sharpened pencil and set up the paper.

"It's really easy" she said sitting down next to me.

"Yeah, umm, have you seen what Ben and Angela are doing?"

"Yes, that graphics thingy" she laughed "It's so cool"

"Do you guys have a fete every year?"

"I think so, they did before I moved back in with my mum" she paused thinking "I'm pretty sure they do"

"It's a really good idea"

"I know and it's like a win-win situat-" she stopped what she was saying turning her attention to her hands. I was confused about her reaction and began looking around for the answer when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Jasper" Lil said smiling hesitantly.

"Oh hey" I said awkwardly, Bella's attention was still fixated on her hands "What's up?"

"I'm taking a break and I thought I'd see what you were up to, people keep talking about your thing"

"Oh, umm, ok"

"Yeah"

The tension radiating between the two of them was so thick it could be cut with a knife.

"Bella, hey" Lil said unexpectendly. I looked at her in shock before glancing at Bella to see that her eyes had widened but her attention was still on her hands.

"Hi" Bella's voice was low.

"Listen I-" Lil began but Bella interrupted.

"Actually I need to go, umm, do stuff, I'll be back in a while Jasper" Bella stood up quickly and began walking away before I could stop her.

Lil sat down in Bella's vacated seat, a defeated look on her face.

"She wouldn't even look at me" she said slowly "Not even a look"

"It's okay" I said wrapping my arm around her

"No it's not okay, it's not" her voice broke as she leaned in closer to me.

"It is or at least it will be. This is just the beginning. Remember take baby steps"

"I thought about what you said remember and I need to make amends, to apologise but she isn't even giving me a chance"

"Well, maybe she's in shock. I mean when was the last time you even spoke to her? You can't blame her for feeling like this"

"I guess, I just thought, hoped that maybe, it'd be easy but I guess it won't be. I was going to wait and go to her house after but Emmett pointed out that she was here with you and so I became before I lost my nerve but…" she sighed mournfully "What if there's just too much damage, what if she can never forgive me?" she looked at me.

"Bella doesn't seem like the kind of person to hold a grudge"

"I know but still after everything she's been put through, I wouldn't blame her for hating me. I'd hate me if I were her!"

"But you're not her and you won't get any answers to your questions unless you keep trying"

"You're right" she sucked in a deep breath as she stood up "I need to head back, but, but thanks for this"

"No problem"

"I'll see you later. If you want you could come over and get a kiss. Alice will be there" she smiled and walked off.

Bella came back a little while later, we didn't speak about why she went off, it was better to just keep quiet regarding events that happened in the past. She scooted closer to me and I wrapped my arm around her kissing her on the head. I didn't need to look to see that she was blushing. She was smiling, happy until she looked up and saw Alice and Edward staring our way.

I didn't need a psychic to tell me that things were going to kick off in school tomorrow.

xXx

**I am so sorry for that terrible ending but what did you think. R&R.**


	10. Chapter 10

**I feel terrible, I haven't updated in over a month and this chapter really isn't much.**

**Italics mean it's a flashback **

**Chapter 10**

When I arrived in school I instantly knew that something was wrong.

The car park, usually full and bustling with students, was nearly empty.

As I entered the building there was hardly anyone around, except for the odd students and that confused me because I wasn't that early.

I walked to my locker and put my things away only taking with me the relevant books and began making my way to the library,

And that's when I heard it.

Outside in the back of the school there were voices, loud voices that were muted due to the doors being closed and blocking out the sound.

I made my way to the nearest door and pushed it open and I saw the crowd, it was huge, students were gathered around laughing, smiling with their phones out. It would seem like everyone was having a good time if it wasn't for the maliciousness in their laughter, at what was happening.

People were standing in a circle and I could hear a voice.

Alice's.

I pushed myself through the crowd to see Alice standing in front of Bella, I couldn't see Bella's face as her back was towards me but I could see Alice's.

Alice was angry.

Alice was in tears.

Alice looked ready to murder Bella.

"Answer me!" Alice shouted at Bella and I flinched at the ferociousness in her voice. She slammed her hand on the table beside Bella.

"Answer me, dammit!"

I didn't understand why no one was doing anything.

I could feel the crowd jostling behind me and I could hear the whispers.

"Bella's gonna get it"

"I wonder who'll win in a fight"

"I hope Alice hits her"

Then suddenly the crowd went silent as a slap rung out. I could hear the echo of it and I could see Bella's hand slowly reach up to cup her right cheek. The cheek that Alice had slapped and then I heard her.

Her sobs.

"Why are you crying now?" Alice said leaning in "You're tears won't fix anything, they won't"

Lil stepped closer and I noticed her trying to hold Alice back. She whispered in her ear and Alice's head snapped towards her.

"You're joking right?"

"No I'm not" Lil said "This had gone on long enough, this, what you're doing. It's pointless, all of it"

"No it's not, Bella deserves to suffer like we have. She hasn't suffered at all and that's not fair" Alice cried "It's not fair"

Bella shoulders heaved up and down as she tried to quiet her sobs.

I walked forward and wrapped my arm around Bella, helping her up.

Alice's eyes flicked to mine and shocked filled them before they focused on Bella and hatred filtered into them again.

"How can you even stand to be around her? Especially after what she's done"

I looked at Lil confused but her eyes were focused on Alice.

"Well answer me Jasper, answer me dammit!" Alice shrieked.

I didn't know what she wanted me to say so I stayed quiet.

"Fuck you, fuck you" she screamed pointing her finger at me "And fuck you Bella, just fuck you" and with that she stormed off. Lil ran after her and Edward and Emmett soon followed. Bella simply continued to cry quietly and the crowd around us slowly dispersed until only the two of us remained.

I slowly made my way towards Bella, sliding into the seat next to her. I doubted she even noticed my presence.

I gently placed my arm on her shoulder and she jumped, her head shout up, eyes wide with fear that was placed with sadness once she realised it was me.

"Oh Jasper" she sobbed throwing herself into my arms. "Everything's falling apart"

"Shh, it'll be alright" I said as soothingly as possible.

"No it won't. I, I tried to pretend that everything will be okay again, but it won't ever be again. Never" she cried. I could feel her tears seeping through my thin t-shirt.

I pulled back and she looked at me. Her eyes were bright red and puffy, as was her nose. She had pink blotches all over her face and dried tears.

She was a mess.

I reached into my bag pulling out some tissues and used it to dry her tears, then I handed her another to blow her nose. I smoothed her hair out and tucked loose strands behind her ears before standing up and offering her hand. Bella placed her hand in mine and I began leading her in the direction of the car park and unlike last time she didn't put up any resistance.

When I placed her in the front passenger seat, Bella sunk into it, curling into herself. The silence reverberated loudly in the car, almost unbearably as I drove her to my house which I knew would be empty at this time, assuming that Lil hadn't brought her friends here after they ran off after Alice.

Thankfully as I pulled into the driveway it was empty, so I quickly parked and brought Bella into the house to my room.

She didn't say anything merely walked around the room till she spotted one of my sketchbooks on the desk. She picked it up and opened it to the first page, looking stunned to see that it was a picture of her. After that initial sketch I attempted of her, I'd devoted almost an entire sketchbook to drawings of her, only her.

"It's me" she whispered sounding almost awe struck.

"Yeah" I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly whilst silently hoping she didn't think I was some freaky stalker.

"I look…pretty" she continued in the same voice. "You see me as pretty?"

"No Bella, I see you as beautiful" I stepped behind her as she turned the page to my most recent picture of her. I'd drawn her lying down on the beach, eyes closed, a soft smile playing on her lips. In front of her were half opened books, worn down from being read so much. A daisy chain was wrapped delicately around her wrist which lay by her head.

"I can't see her, this person that you've drawn"

"You should open your eyes a little wider then, she's there, you just have to look" I turned her to face me. "You are beautiful"

She blushed looking down before a wry smile twisted her lips.

"You remind me of him, of James" she said almost absentmindedly before she started crying again.

I led her to the bed and sat her down on it, handing her a tissue from the box on my bedside table.

"Are you ready to talk?" I asked.

She shook her head but opened her mouth to speak regardless.

"I'm sorry that Alice shouted at you, she's angry, she's still angry and she's taking it out on you. She doesn't know that you don't know"

"It's okay"

"No, it's not okay. It's your fault, you shouldn't have to shoulder the blame"

"But it's not yours either"

"Maybe it is" she shrugged, as my brow furrowed in confusion "But still, I'm used to it"

"Bella" My eyes searched hers "What-what's going on?"

She ignored my question, instead choosing to ask one of her own.

"You know when you're parent's died, how, how did you cope? Death, it's so permanent, so how do you cope with such a huge change? Who do you blame? Is anyone really to blame? How do you mourn, do you ever really get over it? Because I don't think you can, not really. You said that you just have to live with it but what if you can't then what?" Bella blurted out.

"I don't, I don't understand" What did my parents have to do with any of this.

"When someone dies, let's say that it isn't expected then what do you do? Do you run and hide, do you face it, what do you, how do you help others especially if you're hurting to, what if they're making it worse. Do you ever really stop hurting?" Bella paused, looking me directly in the eye. "Are you hurting Jasper?"

I paused thinking. "Yeah, but you're hurting more"

"Am I? I don't even know anymore, I can't remember a time when I haven't felt like this. I feel like I've been hurting for so long that I don't even know if I'm still hurting or maybe this is normal, maybe, maybe, I don't know…I don't know what to do Jasper. Death it's tainted everything"

"You're right, death does taint everything but it's not always bad. I mean it's sad that people die but we do have to accept as humans our mortality, everyone dies, in fact everyone is dying, some faster than others. It's just that those that die, that's it, they've gone, but those of us that are left behind, we have to cope with the fact that we once had them and now they're gone" I took a breath thinking about where I was going with this "We have to accept that they are no longer with us and some of us may accept this fact faster than others, some however may take a while to truly accept this and begin to heal, till then we, well we go through the 5 stages of grief. Some people get stuck at anger and are unable to move on to acceptance for the longest of time and eventually we forgive those that we may blame or maybe we don't"

"What do you mean?" she whispered.

"I mean I understand death, I understand that people cope with it differently. I understand that sometimes the death of people are untimely and sometimes it's hard to forgive especially those we blame"

Bella stared at me wide eyed.

"How, how did your parents die Jasper? Who do you blame?"

I paused sitting down next to her.

"My dad" I began slowly "I blame my dad"

"Why?"

"It was his gun, he pulled the trigger" I paused licking my dry lips "The night, the night that he died. They'd been fighting, my dad had become really paranoid ever since my mum found out about Lil. He was constantly accusing her of cheating, he truly believed she was but she wasn't because my mum isn't, wasn't that kind of person. She was good. Anyway they were fighting and then he said how he wanted us to move to Seattle, so that we were closer to Lil but my mum refused. She didn't want to leave until I'd finished high school but that angered my dad. Now he had a pretty bad temper when he was sober but he'd been drinking, not much, but enough to make him more volatile than usual"

I squeezed my eyes shut as the memory's burned me.

"He, he started throwing things and my mum got scared. She said that tonight we'd, me and her, we'd stay with my Nan until he calmed down. That she couldn't talk to him when he was like this. She told me to go upstairs and pack my overnight stuff, that we'd be back in the morning and I think that's what made him snap. He just looked so calm, sick, twisted and he said 'sit down son, you aren't going anywhere' he said that she could go wherever she wanted but that she couldn't take his son with him. She told me to go upstairs and pack despite this and he just lunged for her and chucked her on the chair. He held his hand round her throat and began squeezing. I panicked and pushed him off her and he just freaked out and went nuts. Thrashing the living room. All I could think was, protect mum, protect her"

I could feel the images assaulting my mind.

_My mum's hand wrapped around mine and she squeezed tight. Tears fell down her cheeks and she mouthed 'it's going to be okay, I promise'. I'd never seen my dad look that way before; he was like a raging bull ready to destroy anything in his path. _

_I could hear the doorbell ring and the sound of our neighbour's voice calling through the door._

_My dad made his way to the door and I'm not sure what he said to her but it was enough that it had the police banging on our door 30 minutes later. _

_He didn't say anything simply disappeared into the kitchen for a bit before returning and for the longest of times he just watched us. I couldn't take my eyes off the shiny metal that he kept twisting around in his hand._

"_Sir, will you open the door please" I heard a man saying again._

_My dad didn't say anything. The only light in the room came from the small glow of the lamp beside my dad, illuminating his face. I could see a torch shining through the closed curtains. I could hear my heart pounding and my palms sweating. My mum rubbed circles into my hand and I could hear her murmuring a prayer._

"_We'll be forced to break down the door sir, if you do not co-operate" the voice said again. Minutes seem to pass before I heard a pounding on the door. _

_My dad's face twisted._

_The grip from my mum got tighter and she sobbed slightly. I wrapped my arm around her, kissing her forehead desperately. _

"_I love you Jasper" she whispered touching my face "I love you so much"_

"_I love you too but don't think like that mum, it's fine, everything will be fine"_

_The banging on the door got louder and my dad stood up. His figure towered over us dauntingly._

"_We're a family" he said as he strolled around the room. "And family's stick together no matter what"_

_A bang rang out as he shot out the lamp light leaving only the moon shining from the kitchen to illuminate the room._

"_We are a fucking family" he aimed the gun in our direction "and we will not be separated!" then he shot._

I could still hear the bullet's echoing.

"There was so much blood Bella, that's what I remember and then I woke up in the hospital"

She sobbed bitterly. "He killed your mum"

"Yeah" I paused "he killed my mum"

My lips twitched at the cold hard truth.

My mum was dead.

And it was my dad who killed her.

xXx

**What do you think? We're getting slightly closer to the truth about what happened with Bella. **


	11. Chapter 11

So I've had this chapter written for a while but I was unable to post on account of there not being any internet at home. Hope you do enjoy it and updates should be a bit more regular now

xXx

Chapter 11

"Now" I said snapping myself out of the nostalgic gaze I was in "your turn to share"

At this Bella began crying again, shaking her head as she did

"Please no, please"

"Why Bella?" I asked and although I tried to keep my voice level I could hear it rise "what's the big secret? I don't get it, I really don't"

"I'm afraid"

"Of what?"

"I'm afraid you'll blame me too"

"Why though?"

"Everyone else does"

"But not everyone knows the full story and that's what I'm asking you to tell me"

She sobbed some more curling into herself

"It's a long story" she hiccupped.

I began rubbing her back "it's okay, I have time"

"You know how Edward, Alice and Emmett are adopted?"

"Yeah"

"Well they weren't the only ones"

"Are you adopted?"

"What? No, not me. Carlisle and Esme had adopted another child, James"

I frowned confused. I'd never heard of any James.

"What's he got to do with this?"

"Everything" she whispered breathlessly "He's got everything to do with this"

"When the Cullen's first moved here, we were close, incredibly close, all of us and though all of them were adopted, Alice and James were biological siblings which is why they were adopted together, so they wouldn't be separated"

I nodded encouraging her to go on.

"Anyway, Edward and I started dating as you know but then Renee, my mum, forced me to move back with her after she found out she was pregnant, with my brother. But her being Renee she didn't tell me she was pregnant when she made me move back, she used guilt. She kept saying how she 'wanted a better relationship' and that 'we never spent time together' so I moved back, then when I got there I found out that she was pregnant and just wanted someone to look after her because Phil, my stepdad, he plays in the minor leagues was on the road again"

"Then what?"

"Well, after I moved back Edward and I continued dating but it was hard being so far away and every time I tried to talk to Renee about moving back, she'd make me feel bad until I stopped asking and simply accepted it"

"I still don't get it" I said confused.

"While I was living with my mum, I had to change schools and there was this boy, Benjamin and he liked me, I told him I had a boyfriend but he was pretty persistent and pretty harmless, so I thought "she sighed deeply "Edward came down one week, to surprise me and caught me and Benjamin in a compromising position, he instantly assumed the worse and flew back to Forks without giving me a chance to explain. He ignored my calls, texts and emails and it was Alice who eventually answered one of the calls to tell me to basically fuck off, that we were over. She hated me for hurting him, I tried to tell her the truth but she wouldn't hear it"

"That's it, that's the big secret" I said incredulously. Everyone hating her, despising her, simply because they thought she cheated on Edward.

"No" she said a moment later "But I wish it was"

We sat in silence as I waited for her to continue.

"I decided to come down on a trip to Forks to try and salvage my relationship with Edward. It was the week of the Championship game and James who was older than all of us was playing. I made sure to come down while everyone was still in school, because it meant it was harder for him to avoid me yet he still managed to"

"I tried everything, I came to the school where Alice would scream at me and tell me to go away, Rosalie, Rosalie wouldn't say anything to me but she'd try and stop Alice from attacking me all the time. One day though, I went to their house to try and speak to Edward because I heard from Lauren that Alice wouldn't be there" she smiled wryly "Lauren is a liar, Alice was there. She wouldn't let me get near Edward to tell him the truth. I was standing at the top of their porch steps and Edward was at the door but Alice was standing between us. I tried Jasper, I really tried to tell him but Alice wouldn't let me. Then she pushed me and I fell down the steps and as I hit the ground, I could hear the door slam closed. I could barely stand on my leg but since Charlie had dropped me off, I had to walk home and as clichéd as it is, it started raining and I started crying"

She took a shuddering breath and I squeezed her shoulder comfortingly.

"James came out then, he offered to take me home, I refused but he wouldn't take no for an answer and then he saw my bad led and decided to take me to the hospital instead. He called ahead to Carlisle to be waiting for us because my leg started bleeding pretty badly and since one of the roads was blocked off, we had to go the long way. James and I were talking and he was telling me how Forks was in danger of not being allowed to play because apparently some of the players were found to be taking steroids, I told him about Edward and he told me he'd talked to him for me"

Bella leaned into my shoulder and started crying.

"Then, as we came around the bend, our car was hit, James tried to control the car but we went flying off the road and into the forest and we hit something. It went black then. When I woke up there was no sound, but everything was wet and I realized it was blood and it wasn't just mine. I'm not good with blood and so I passed out again. James was next to me barely breathing and the car was crushed together. When I woke again, I couldn't get out but I knew I had to, for James. I'm not sure how long ago we'd crashed but a lot of blood had been lost. My phone was destroyed and I couldn't find his. My leg was wedged really tightly in between a seat but I managed to get it out. I smashed the front windshield and I climbed out, pulling James out after me, I couldn't stand, I was so weak, so I crawled with James on my back, to the road but as I did, I knew, I just knew he was gone."

She swallowed thickly.

"I gave him CPR, I screamed for help, I bandaged his wounds but there was no point. I think I fainted again because the next time I woke up, I was in hospital and Charlie was there telling me James was gone. I already knew but I just couldn't comprehend how. Alice had lost her brother, her only brother and she blamed me. They all did every single person because if I hadn't gone to the house that day then James would still be here. We weren't allowed to play either because people were found to be taking drugs, so we lost the Championship and people blamed me for that too, a rumor started that it was me that told the police about the drugs, to get back at Edward for dumping me"

I sat stunned at what I'd heard. All this time she was being blamed for someone's death. I couldn't imagine the burden that had been placed on her. I tried to see it from everyone else's point of view, I could see why they would want to blame her for him to dying, it was easier that way, maybe it helped them to mourn him knowing that someone was at fault rather than it being a horrible twist of fate.

Bella continued "I went to the funeral and it was at that moment that I realized the true extent of Alice's hate for me. In front of everyone she said that she wished it was me who died, that I only ever hurt people and that I should just throw myself under a bus and put everyone out of their misery. I blamed myself too because if only I'd tried harder to say no to him then none of this would have happened. I wished it was me who had died instead, people in Forks loved James, they really did, and I wouldn't have been missed so much. Alice never forgave me, Rosalie, my best friend, she hated me too. I could tell by the way she looked at me. She's trying to be nicer now but we'd never be the same. There's too much history"

I wiped her tears and kissed her forehead.

"I keep saying it's not my fault but I'm lying, it is my fault. I'm a cursed person"

"No, you're not" I said.

"I am"

"No Bella, it's not your fault. It's an unfortunate situation, but you can't be blamed. James offered to drive you, someone else hit the car. I mean did they find out who it was?"

She shook her head "No the day after the accident, they found it abandoned, it was a rental car"

"I don't blame you Bella, you should know that. You should forgive yourself too; this isn't a burden you should have to carry"

She nodded her head but I could see in her eyes the fear, the insecurity and disbelief at my words.

"I'm sleepy Jasper"

"Then go to sleep, I'll be here when you wake up. I'll take care of you"

She lay down on the bed and was out in seconds. I lay down next to her pondering how to help her but more importantly how to fix her broken spirit.

xxx

sooo, how'd I do?


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

We didn't do much for the rest of the day.

Well at least I didn't, Bella slept.

And slept.

And slept.

Around 7 I picked her up and took her to my car but she barely stirred. That worried me a little so I placed a hand on her head to check her temperature, she was a little warm but nothing too serious. I drove the short journey to Bella's house, parking in her empty driveway. I sighed with relief that her dad was not back yet, I could just imagine trying to explain what I was doing with his unconscious daughter.

I sat in the car and simply waited for Bella to wake up but when the clock struck 7.40 and she was still asleep, I decided to wakeher up.

"Bella" I said gently looking into the backseat.

I got out of the car opening the back seats and tried again.

"Bella" I placed my hand on her shoulder, shaking her gently "It's time to wake up, you're home"

She moved a little but soon resumed sleeping.

"Bella!" I said louder and slightly more aggressive. Her eyelids fluttered before opening and she sat up quickly in surprise nearly hitting her head against my own.

"Ja-Jasper" she squinted as though her eyes hurt "Wha- what I am, where am I?"

"Home, it was getting late so I brought you back"

"Oh" she paused "Is my dad here?"

I shook my head slowly as she simply looked down at her legs and began playing with her fingers in response to my question.

"Where are your keys?" I asked stepping back slightly.

"Oh, um" she picked her bag which I had placed on the floor in front of her and began fumbling about in it before bringing out a key ring "It's the gold key"

I turned and made my way to the door, unlocking it before going back to Bella and handing her the key. I helped her out of the car and walked her to the door.

"So" I said uneasily, scratching the back of my head. Her brown eyes were dull and they showed nervousness in them, I didn't understand why she'd be nervous. "Will you be okay till you're dad gets home?"

"I'm used to it" she smiled sadly.

"That's not answering the question though; Bella will you be okay till you're dad gets home"

"Like I said, I'm used to it" she smiled again. "Bye Jasper and thank you, for everything. I will never begin to explain how much that meant to me, how much you mean to me"

"It's okay Bella, I-" but I was cut off as she flung her arms around me, nearly sending us toppling over.

"No, it's not okay Jasper, it's amazing. What you've done is truly amazing." Her voice was muffled slightly as a result of my chest. "There were people I'd known for years, Jasper, years and not one of them have _ever_ defended me the way you have. Everyone was quick to point fingers and even though everyone warned you away, you didn't leave and every day I kept thinking to myself, 'he's gonna go now', 'he's gonna leave me when he finds out'. He's gonna hate me like the rest of them and the thought of you ever hating me Jasper was like a dagger through my heart"

I kissed her forehead and slowly removed my arms from around her.

"Silly Bella, I could never hate you"

"I bet you could"

"Nope" I said popping the p "I don't think I can"

She smiled again her beautiful eyes sparkling. She looked radiant with her flushed cheeks and strewn hair. I leaned forward and stroked her cheek gently before cupping it with my hand.

"Are you sure you'll be alright alone?"

She shook her head "No, could you stay, even if it's just a little while. I like having you around me. Everything just seems better when you're here"

"I'll stay as long as you need me to, let me just move the car so you're dad doesn't box me in when he gets here"

She nodded her head and I headed back towards the car. As I entered the car, I noticed her disappearing into the house, I reversed the car onto the street and parked a bit down the road before cutting the engine and jogging back to the house.

When I got to the house, the door was still open and Bella was still no where in sight. I closed the door behind me. I could hear sounds up ahead and followed them. I saw Bella crouched down by a cupboard taking things out.

"Hey" she smiled slightly, putting a pot on the stove and pouring water in it before turning on the gas. "I'm just making some pasta for Charlie's dinner, it won't take long, I just need to boil it"

"No problem" I said shrugging slightly "Do you need any help?"

"Err" she looked around "No I'm good, you can take a seat at the table if you want"

"Yeah sure" I sat down and looked around the kitchen taking it in but most importantly I watched Bella.

She seemed so in her element as she flew around the kitchen, her hair falling out of the messy bun that she'd thrown it in. She seemed confident and sure of herself in a way that I'd never seen her before.

She completely threw herself into the task of cooking, she boiled the pasta, made a beautiful sauce with an aroma that could tempt even the most stubborn of taste buds. I watched as she began cutting vegetables for the salad, entranced by her petite fingers and how they held so gently-

"Ouch!" Bella suddenly exclaimed. I snapped out of my reverie and noticed her holding onto her finger, I jumped as I noticed the blood seeping.

"Bella hold your breath and look away" she nodded doing as I said. I held her hand under the tap watching as the water ran over it and the blood washed down the drain.

"Is it gone?" Bella asked sounding shaky.

"Yeah it's gone" I paused moving her finger under the water just to make sure. "Where do you keep the first aid kit?"

"In the top cupboard, to the right of you"

I released her hand and opened the cupboard taking out the first aid kit. I washed my hands before taking out an antiseptic wipe and cleaning the cut, then I took out a plaster and wrapped it around the small cut, placing a kiss on it when I was done.

"All better" I said and Bella giggled, her cheeks flushing as she did so.

"Let me just finish the salad, I'll just be a minute" she began turning to the counter when I stopped her.

"I'm not going to risk you hurting yourself again, let _me_finish it and you sit down"

"Jasper I can't let you do that"

"Yes you can" I said pushing her in the direction of the table "Sit"

I walked back over to the counter and resumed cutting whilst Bella watched, playing with her fingers as she did so. She was adorable, she really was. I gave the sauce one last stir before turning it off and draining the pasta.

"All done" I said smiling at her. She stood and walked towards me, surprising me with a hug.

"Thank you" she said, she sounded choked. She pulled back and I could see tears in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked concerned "Are you hurt?"

She shook her head smiling "No, I'm fine, perfect actually" but even as she said this, more tears began to fall which I quickly wiped away. I hated to see her sad, it hurt.

"Something's obviously wrong or else you wouldn't be crying"

"Or maybe everything's fine which is why"

"Bella, what's wrong? Please tell me" I asked again.

She hesitated, worrying her lip "Okay but not here, in my room" she smiled cheekily moving to the kitchen entrance "Catch me" and she dashed off.

"Bella" I called out after her, before going after her. Despite her head start, I still caught up to her on the stairs, I picked her up bridal style and went to her room, putting her gently on the bed.

She lay down and patted the space next to her. I happily obliged.

"So…."

"Subtle Jasper, subtle" she giggled then her face turned solemn. "Growing up with my mum Renee, she was always really flighty, I was the adult of the two of us. I never really had a childhood I guess, I've never really felt looked after, it was always me looking after others. First Renee, now Charlie, not like he needs it or anything but it's the little things like the fact that he can't cook, so before me he was always at the diner and that's not good for him" she sighed and squeezed my hand before laying down on my chest "You make me feel protected and looked after. That's why I cried, it's weird feeling like this, it makes me appreciate your presence in my life all the more, though I'm continually worried you'll leave, now more than ever and I'm just glad for the few moments that I have with you here"

"Bella, I told you I'm not going anywhere, to be honest I don't think I could even if I wanted to" I could feel a smile on my face as I said that. "Tell me more"

"I don't think Renee ever really wanted me, I think she feels like I stole her youth or something, she had me young, she was only eighteen. What eighteen year old wants to be tied down by a kid? I felt unwanted a lot grpwing up, I don't think she meant for me to know but I did, I could feel it and every now and again, I could hear her talking to people and they'd tell her to send me to my dad but she'd refuse"

"She must have wanted you then"

Bella looked me dead in the eye "She refused because then Charlie would have no reason to send her checks, she wasn't working, she'd have nothing to survive on" she sighed and lay back on my chest "One day though, the place we'd been living, we got evicted, we ended up in a women's shelter. Renee called her mum who wired her some money and we moved in with them, when Charlie found out, he demanded I move in with him, Renee was happy to send me off, especially about that time she'd started dating again and it would mean less responsibility for her"

"I'm really sorry Bella"

"Don't be, it's my mother who should be apologising, but she won't. She's oblivious to the people around her and the hurt she causes. She's got her perfect little family now with Phil, she doesn't want nothing to do with me anymore, unless it's to help her with the baby and with the housework"

She was quiet for a while and I racked my brain for something to distract her with.

"When I came to Forks, I was trying to run away from everything that had happened at home, see where I live, _everyone_knew what happened and everyone knew that I'd flipped out. Though my anger calmed and I got better, I guess, everyone still knew and they still talked and when Carmen asked if I wanted to move in with her and Lil, I just couldn't turn down the opportunity. I realise now that running away isn't the option, even if staying is hard. You taught me that" I stroked her hair with my hand "You're strong and brave and I admire you Bella"

"No you don't"

"Yes I do"

It was silent in the room.

"Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

"We need to do some more work for History, I mean I've done some, quite a bit actually and I think we should focus on that"

"I've done some stuff too" she sat up.

"There's some things I wanted you to illustrate, if I give you a list, could you do it over the next few days?"

"No problem" she walked over to her table and started rummaging. It was obvious she was trying to divert attention from herself, another thing I loved about her. She was so shy.

"Here's the stuff I've done and the checklist thing we made, you can I guess go through what you've done and then we can get together to tie up any loose ends"

"Sure, just text me or something when you're free and we can meet up in the library, like old times"

She giggled beautifully "Like old times"

I heard a door slam in the distance and a voice call out "Bells"

I glanced at my watch and sighed sadly. "I better get going"

"Yeah" I stood and pulled Bella to me, inhaling her strawberry scent, reluctant to pull away. "So, how are we going to do this?"

"Maybe you should leave by the window, you can use the tree to climb down"

"Okay" I walked over to the window and opened it up. I climbed onto the tree. "I'll see you later Bella"

"Bye Jasper" she said softly and watched as I navigated myself down the tree. When I reached the bottom I waved back up at her and ran to the car getting in and driving away.


	13. Chapter 13

**Wow, I can't believe it's been over a year since I've updated. I am sooooooo sorry but I promise you that updates are going to be a lot regular this time around. I hope you will continue to read and enjoy this story. Thank you to all who have read this story and supported it thus far.**

**Chapter 13**

It had been two weeks since the incident in school. In that time I had successfully managed to avoid Lil and her friends save for Emmett who I saw at football practice. In school, it was easy enough to avoid them, Bella and I had received leave from study hall and spent that time finishing our History project and now, apart from a few loose ends, we were done. As for my other lessons, I took a leaf from Bella's book and sat right in the front; I left class the moment it was over and got there early. I had taken to spending my evenings with Bella too, we'd go to the beach or the park or the library; we'd even met up with Angela and Ben a few times.

I couldn't deny the attraction I felt towards Bella and all the time we'd spent together recently had allowed me the chance to sufficiently indulge my fantasy with images of us as a couple. It was ridiculous the number of times that I had to restrain myself from kissing Bella in the last fortnight; I had to force myself to remember that she wasn't mine and that her heart probably still belonged to Edward though he didn't want it. In my mind, we complimented each other perfectly. I was tall, tan and blonde. She was short, pale and dark haired. My eyes were light, hers were dark. We were both fairly introverted though, so we could sit in silence and just read with no need to talk aimlessly to fill it. The silence was comfortable and never awkward. I loved it. This was mainly because it allowed me to examine Bella in detail without her freaking out, getting embarrassed or thinking of me as a creepy stalker. When she read, it was clear that she became deeply engrossed in the book, her reactions allowed me to easily guess what was happening. She'd sigh dreamily, gasp in surprise or inhale deeply, worried, at what the characters were currently facing. When she finished reading or I called her to get her attention, she'd look at me but it was almost as though she was bringing herself back from some faraway place. This was a situation that I had become most accustomed to. She and I, together in a room, maybe talking, maybe reading or working but it didn't matter what,_ I_ didn't care what because it was always nice.

Take now for instance, we were in her room. She was wearing a navy blue tank top that clung a little bit too tightly to her body. Her creamy skin was complimented perfectly and from my position on her bed, I had the perfect view down her top. She typed away on her laptop completely unaware of the effect she had on me. It was quiet except for her typing and my sketching. We hadn't spoken except from our short discussion in which we discussed which work was incomplete before dividing it among ourselves.

"Done" Bella suddenly said. Triumph shone in her face as she smiled at me.

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Mmm hmm, all we need to do is print, collate and bind it all together"

"Great, can we print here?" I asked stretching. I'd just finished the last of the drawings.

"Umm, let me go check" she stood and left the room. I could barely hear the soft patter of her feet against the carpet. "The ink levels are low; it'll probably run out halfway through"

"That's alright. We can go back to mine. It's probably the most practical thing to do anyway. We can pack up what you have here, print at mine and put everything together there" The unease was clear on Bella's face.

"As logical as that is, I don't think that's the best thing to do" she sat next to me on the bed.

"Don't worry, they won't be there. Lil and Alice had practice after school, then they're going to the Cullens house to watch movies for the rest of the evening. Lil may even spend the night there"

"And how do you know this? You said you haven't spoken to Lil in a while"

"Carmen told me. Trust me Bella, they will not be there and even if they were, we're going straight to my room"

"Jasper I-"

"I'm Shrek, remember? I'll protect you. Okay?"

"Okay" she lay her head on my shoulder. "Let me just gather everything up and put on my jacket. I'll meet you downstairs"

I stood, picked up my sketchbook and went downstairs. I slipped my jacket on and waited patiently for Bella in her living room. She said Charlie was working late tonight so I wasn't worried he'd come home and catch me here. Though he seemed alright with me being around Bella, it was clear he was still suspicious and so he hadn't hesitated to show me his gun or to warn me that as Chief he had a whole lot of power.

Charlie didn't really worry me, at least not as much as certain other people. Things in school had died down a bit, so when I walked her to class we only attracted a few glances and the occasional snide comment. Still, I was worried; Alice's outbursts seemed to come out of nowhere so I was waiting for another one. I was terrified at the prospect of leaving Bella alone, in case Alice or someone else decided to go after her. Bella had assured me that her dad had taught her basic self-defence movements and that he made sure she carried around a rape alarm and pepper spray but still I worried for her safety.

"Ready?"

I stood and saw Bella standing at the entrance, a bag on her shoulder and a folder in her arm. Her green coat dwarfed her petite figure and I'm sure it would be an unflattering look had it been anyone else but Bella had a way of always looking cute. Her brown orbs gazed at me, nervousness and fear reflected in them. I wanted to hold her and steal her pain away. I wanted to steal _her _away, away from all the ungrateful people who seemed hell bent on destroying her innocence and the goodness that made her stand out, I wanted to steal her away from impossible situations but most of all, away from a past that continues to haunt her.

"Yeah let's go"

I followed her out the door and waited patiently at the passenger side as she locked the front door. As she approached the car, I opened the door and once she was in and settled I closed it and made my way to the driver's seat.

As I closed the door behind me, Bella turned to face me.

"Promise me that they won't be there" her eyes were desperate for further confirmation.

"I promise you Bella"

After that initial interaction, the drive to my house was silent. My few glances at Bella confirmed that she was still nervous. The way she gnawed at her lip left me worried she'd draw blood. We pulled up to my house quickly enough and I helped her exit the car before leading her to my room.

Bella's nervousness soon faded away and calmness filled her being as we settled into our work. She became further at ease as Carmen entered a few times with snacks and drinks. I was even able to give them a moment alone and came back to find them on the bed, both red-eyed and smiling. I'm guessing that when Lil and Bella's relationship was destroyed, Bella's relationship with Carmen suffered as well. I could understand how, Carmen was Lil's mother so her loyalty was really to her but still it must have hurt Carmen considering how close Lil and Bella seemed to be. I'm glad that they could have this moment even if it was just a one-off. Bella needs a mother and it seems to me that Carmen was the closest to one she had so at least this way any womanly problems that Bella needed to talk about could be addresses, mainly Edwards breaking of her heart.

I gathered together the last pieces of paper, putting everything in order. As I placed the completed work on my desk, I felt my chest ache a little.

"So I guess we're done" I said lying down on the bed.

Sadness enveloped me as my biggest excuse to hang out with Bella evaporated before me. The last two weeks, if we didn't have social plans, I'd ask her to go to the library with me to work on the project and I'd call her with minor issues. I basically forced myself on her.

"Yeah, I can't believe it" an expression fleeted across her face.

"What's wrong?" I asked sitting up quickly.

"Nothing" she said turning away from me and allowing her hair to fall across her face.

"No seriously, tell me" I crouched in front of her and placed a hand on her cheek forcing her to look at me.

"It's silly. You'll think I'm being silly"

"You're being silly by not telling me"

"I know" she bit her lip. "I feel like the project has been one of the main reasons we've been able to spend time together. I'm scared that now it's done I'll never see you." she sighed and held my hand tighter against her face. "I really like spending time with you, no, I love spending time with you Jasper, it's my favourite part of every day, of every week"

My heart soared.

"You're such a good friend to me Jasper. I don't want to lose you"

_Ouch. _Friend zoned.

"You won't lose me Bella. We can still hang out, I promise. In fact, we can probably do more. We could head down to Seattle one weekend and see the Space Needle or the Aquarium or the Art Museum. I love hiking so we can explore the woods around Forks and you can make a picnic"

"That sounds like fun" she turned her head and kissed my palm slightly before taking it in both her hands.

I was about to speak when I heard it. The front door opening and closing followed by the chatter of voices. I watched the colour drain from Bella's already pale face and I worried she was going to pass out.

"Lay down" I whispered directing her to the bed.

"You promised" her voice was thick with tears.

"I know and I meant it at the time" I was confused. What the hell were they doing here? My avoidance of Lil was made a whole lot easier by the fact that she seemed to be doing the same thing. If I happened to be home then she probably wasn't and vice versa. If we were both home then we definitely were not around each other. I'd stay in my room and she'd stay in hers. I could tell Carmen was hurt by our avoidance of each other but I just didn't know what to say to Lil.

I could understand that she was hurt by the death of her friend James and needed time to mourn. He seemed like a great guy and is quite obviously missed by everyone. I could understand being angry at the injustice of such a young life being taken. I could understand wanting to help a friend whose brother had just died. What I couldn't understand was turning on your best friend who was like a sister. I couldn't understand how after everything that happened with Edward how she wouldn't at least try to get Bella's side of the story. I couldn't understand how Lil couldn't be more understanding about what happened with James, Bella was probably suffering enough with survivor's guilt without the added blame put on her by everyone else. It was times like that when you needed someone and even if Lil had been angry about what happened with Edward, I couldn't fathom how she was able to stay away from Bella, let alone hurt her more. I don't know how Bella found the strength to stay in Forks. I still don't know why she stayed. I get that she wasn't happy with her mother but it must've been a hell of a lot less painful than staying in Forks where she was hated by so many.

Bella had curled into a ball now. It was as though she were trying to make herself so tiny that she'd disappear. My heart ached for her.

I quickly checked that my door was locked before I lay down next to her and wrapped an arm around her. She was still in that damn tank top and she was shivering. I rubbed my arm quickly to warm her and when this failed I grabbed a blanket from my wardrobe and wrapped it tightly around her before settling beside her again.

"I'm sorry for being such a wimp" she whispered.

I kissed her forehead. "I like it, I like taking care of you. You don't have to be strong all the time Bella. I'm here."

"You know what's kinda funny? I was in this house so much growing up, this room was basically mine. I had clothes here, spare toiletries, Carmen wanted to completely decorate it for me but I put my foot down. She was so good to me. When Charlie had to work late or got called out on emergencies he'd drop me off here and she didn't care whatever the time was. Sometimes, I'd go to bed at my house and wake up here" a tear fell from her eye. "It was great. It wasn't ideal or traditional but I felt loved. I was happy. I still feel happy when I remember everything"

I buried my head in her hair and inhaled deeply. It was clear she was struggling to not fall apart.

"Bella, you don't have to say anything else"

"No, I want to. I want to share with you"

Laughter erupted outside my room and I could hear Bella wince from the sound. I could hear Alice's exclamation of joy as they discussed something that happened at practice. A door slammed shut and I could tell they were now in Lil's room.

"They won't come in here" I whispered to Bella in an attempt to reassure her.

"Ok" she was silent for a moment. "I loved Rosalie like she was my own sister. She _was_ my sister in every way but blood. When the Cullens came into the picture, things didn't change too drastically. We hung out in a big group. Alice was always closer to Rosalie than she was to me; I was never into girly things like clothes and makeup but Alice breathes that kind of stuff and Rosalie liked it too. So they'd go on shopping trips to Port Angeles and Seattle, at first Alice asked me to come along and I'd say yes to be polite but it was clear that I didn't really enjoy it. They'd hang out in boutiques and I'd hang out in bookshops. After a while Alice stopped asking me to come along, I know it wasn't malicious but I still felt hurt"

I rubbed her shoulder gently. "Your feelings are completely understandable"

She took a shuddering breath before continuing "Rosalie tried to get me included in other stuff that she did with Alice, like cheerleading, but I just didn't fit in, not really. In school, people would want to hang out with Rosalie and Alice but I was tolerated. Lauren and Jessica hate me for instance but were nice to me when they were around to try and get in with them. Now there's no reason for them to be nice to me so they aren't"

"What about Edward and Emmett?"

"Well, I spent a lot of time with the two of them, more Edward than Emmett though. It's the reason why I fell for him so hard. He was kind and a gentleman and nice. He was so mature and gentle. We spoke all the time, if Alice and Rose were on a shopping trip, we'd go down to the beach and talk until the stars came out or we'd go to his house and he'd play for me. He even wrote me a song. The only problem was that I never felt like I could talk to him about my problems with Alice. I mean, like I said I don't think she was being malicious but at times it seemed as though she were doing it deliberately, to leave me out. I have no co-ordination so I couldn't play sports, but she'd suggest group activities that I couldn't fully participate in. We'd play baseball in the woods but I can't catch or hit so I'd sit and keep score. We'd go rock climbing and I'd injure myself and have to sit and watch. We'd go ice skating and I'd be unable to keep my balance. I spoke to Rose about this once but she didn't think it was anything serious."

"So Alice was out to get you?" I asked clarifying.

"I don't know, maybe. I just don't get why. When everything went to crap with Edward she was the first person to really go after me. She hated me."

"Did you ever get a chance to speak with Edward?"

"No. I wish I did. I wish I had a chance to explain. I really didn't cheat. I loved him, I _still_ love him. I don't get why he wouldn't give me the chance to explain. That's not like Edward at all. I miss him. I lost Rose, I lost him. It's not fair" she sniffed a little. "You probably think this is stupid but I could see myself growing up and marrying him. I really felt like we were perfect for each other, I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else, I didn't want to imagine myself with anyone else"

Hearing her describe her relationship with Edward was actually hurting my heart. I didn't ever want her to speak about him again. He didn't deserve her or her love. If I was her man I'd never let her go, I'd never hurt her like this. If I ever had the honour of her heart, I'd encase it in glass and store it away from any pain and suffering. Not even death would allow me to leave her.

"You have me now. I'm going to make it okay" I whispered stroking her hair.

"I know" she smiled at me. "I'm so lucky"

We chattered about nonsensical things for a bit until we heard Lil's door slam shut. After this we heard the voices disappear down the stairs and another door closed. I assumed they had left and were resuming their original agenda.

"Do you feel like escaping?" I asked Bella as I sat up.

"Sure. Where do you wanna go?"

"Diner?" I suggested. "We could get some dessert"

Bella narrowed her eyes and bit her lip as she thought.

"Or…..I could cook for you" her eyes lowered to the ground.

"Sure" I smiled at her as butterflies erupted in my stomach.

I stood up and gave her my hand.

Looks like I have a date with Bella.

**Did you enjoy?**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey guys. Hope you've had a good week so far. Another short chapter, I know, but I have a feeling you'll enjoy this one a lot.**

**Chapter 14**

Now that Lil and her friends were gone, Bella and I could leave the house without seeing them. I wasn't worried about running into them anywhere else. So I figured, we could go to Bella's, have dinner and then we could go to the Diner to get some dessert before heading up to First Beach.

"So you're definitely happy with our project?" I asked Bella holding it in my hands.

"Definitely" she said with a nod.

"And you're all for us handing it in tomorrow?"

"Yes" she said, again with a nod. I picked up my jacket and slipped it on before helping her with hers.

"Are you ready to leave?" I asked as she turned to face me.

"Yeah" she slipped her arm through mine and I led her out the door. As we descended the stairs, Bella hesitated for a moment. "Can I say goodbye to Carmen before we leave?"

"Sure" I paused thinking where she could be before I heard sounds in the kitchen. "Let's check out the kitchen first"

I led the way to the kitchen, Bella's arm still safely secured. She looked happy. She was practically radiating with happiness and I was glad that the fear of before had disappeared. I was glad that Carmen could be the reason for happiness like this. I knew Carmen had been through a lot in life even before she met my dad and he screwed her over, I wasn't sure what but I'm sure that, that is what made Carmen the wonderful person she was today. She's an amazing mum to Lil, their bond was something I quickly noticed and envied somewhat. Lil still had her mum.

I quickly dismissed these thoughts and focused on the present situation.

We reached the kitchen quickly enough and I pushed it open calling out to Carmen.

My heart stopped.

Not Carmen but Lil and her friends were in the kitchen.

I slipped my keys into Bella's pocket and pushed her behind me before they could see her. I could hear the soft patter of her feet as she slipped away, out of the door and into my car.

Lil stared at me, a nervous expression on her face. Behind her Emmett and Edward pretended to absorbed with other things to give us the appearance of privacy, Alice, on the other hand, stared straight at me, a stony expression on her face.

"Hey" Lil said eventually. She cleared her throat a little and repeated herself.

I had no clue how to address her so I simply mimicked her greeting. She shot a small smile my way but I couldn't muster one back. My mood had plummeted after seeing her and old anger and hurt began to rise. Irrational though it was, I could feel myself beginning to blame her for everything.

"How've you been?" Lil then asked completely unaware of the storm that was beginning to brew within me. I clenched my fists shut to try and control myself.

"Fine. You?" my clipped response clearly hurt her. Her smile fell from her face. I could feel Emmett's gaze on my face and I could see Alice looking at me as though contemplating something. It was only Edward who chose to continue averting his eyes.

"I've been good. I've missed seeing you at home, in school. Where have you been?"

"Around"

"Oh, cool" the air around us sparked with tension. I felt like I was just one wrong word away from a massive blowout.

"Dude, not cool" Emmett said stepping behind Lil.

"Jasper please, just stay and speak to me. Please." Lil begged.

"Why?" I stepped forward menacingly. I was so close to Lil I could feel her breath as she exhaled.

"Jasper, you need to back off, now." Emmett warned.

"Rosalie, why are you even here?" she stepped back from me, wounded.

"I wanted to see you. I haven't seen you in ages. I wanted you to come and hang out with us. I wanted everything to be okay again"

"Well, it won't be and whose fault is that?" I spat before I turned and stormed out the kitchen.

Bella was waiting patiently in the car for me, she'd even placed the key in the ignition. I started the car and backed quickly out of the driveway.

"Woah" Bella exclaimed. She turned to face me "Are you okay?"

I didn't answer, I merely sped down the road. Everything that had happened spiralled into my head. How could my dad cheat on my mum? How could he kill her? How could he try to kill me? What kind of a selfish asshole does something like that?

I turned a corner narrowly avoiding a reversing car. My foot pressed down harder on the accelerator as more thoughts entered my head.

If Lil had never been born then my dad wouldn't have been pushing for us to move. He wouldn't have argued with my mum about it and he wouldn't have taken a gun to her. If Lil had just been content with one parent in her life then my dad wouldn't have been getting involved there, he would have left it be. Lil is the reason why my mum is dead. Lil is the reason why I am left with nothing. She has her mum, she has her home. I have nothing, nothing.

"Jasper!" I heard Bella scream from beside me. I glanced at her quickly then at the road which is where I noticed the reason for her scream. I swerved quickly to avoid the car but in doing so lost control. I grabbed the wheel to steady the car and managed to stop it after performing a U-turn in the middle of the road.

I lay my head on the chair behind me. What the hell had I just done? I started to band my hands against my head chanting "stupid, stupid, stupid"

I turned to my right and saw Bella staring at me pale and terrified. Her chest rose quickly in line with her breaths.

I turned the key and began driving again at a slower pace. I pulled over when I reached Bella's house.

She was still looking at me but with worry rather than terror.

"I think we need to get a rain check on this dinner" I said looking at the steering wheel.

"Okay" her voice was barely audible despite the silence of the car. "Where are you going?"

I shrugged in response.

Bella didn't get out the car though. I waited as the seconds turned into minutes and she still did not go.

"Aren't you getting out?" I eventually asked.

"No"

"Why?" I asked getting annoyed.

"Are you being serious? You're clearly not in the right frame of mind to be driving a car and there's no way I'm getting out of this car and letting you get killed"

"Bella get out" I said trying to keep a hold of my temper.

"I go wherever you go" I turned to face her and my eyes narrowed into slits.

"Bella, its not safe for you to be in the car with me"

"I don't care"

"I don't want you to see me like this"

"I'm not letting you go off by yourself Jasper"

"Fine" I said and took off.

I wasn't sure where I was driving to but eventually I reached a path that led into the woods. I slammed the door behind me and heard as Bella did the same but I didn't wait to check if she was okay.

I began stalking into the woods quickly gaining speed and distance. I could hear Bella struggling to keep up from behind me but I didn't care. I soon broke into a light jog, still unsure of where I was going but I knew I needed to burn off this excess adrenaline. I was so angry. It reminded me of Texas. I'd get angry and start smashing things up.

When I had gotten deep enough in, I threw off my jacket and began breaking things. I grabbed branches and snapped them. I picked up whatever debris I could find and threw it. I started punching and kicking trees as though I could hurt them. I could feel myself getting lost in the emotions, in the pain.

"Jasper stop" Bella cried. I could see her trying to reach out to me but I moved away.

"Go away" I roared.

"Please, you're hurting yourself" she continued. Again she tried to reach for me and again I pulled away.

"Go away" I repeated. I squeezed my eyes shut to try and quell some of the anger. I wasn't angry at Bella. It wasn't her fault.

Everything came back to me at once.

The anger at my dad for cheating on my mum, for hurting her and betraying her; the hate I felt towards him for destroying our little family, disrupting our world and leaving us humiliated in a tiny town. I hated him for taking my mother from me and leaving me all alone to deal with the aftermath. I hated the town gossipers who stared and whispered behind my backs as though I couldn't hear them. I hated how they'd come to the house under the pretence of checking on me and my grandmother only to try and glean a bit of gossip to report back. I hated how stuck I felt, how screwed up I was. I hated that I was probably never going to get over the death of my mother and the reminder on my arm was never going to fade away. I hated the fact that I didn't do more to stop him.

"I should've stopped him" I hear myself saying.

I stop suddenly and look around me. I had managed to ruin the area. I had torn the undergrowth out of the ground; I had successfully damaged some of the larger trees as well as knocking down a few of the smaller ones.

"Jasper" Bella whispered. She walked towards me stopping a few feet away. The sun had hidden itself behind a cloud as though it didn't want to see the destruction I'd caused or the mess I'd made. The area was quiet and I could hear the wind whisper as it too seemed to flee the destruction.

I dropped to the ground and held my head in my hands.

That's when I noticed the blood.

The coppery smell filled my nostrils and I instinctively recoiled. I stared at my hands, horrified at the ghastly sight. The flesh of my knuckles had been forcibly ripped away and my palms were covered in deep welds. Blood oozed from the wounds, seeping like ink from it and dripping to the ground, coating it in red. The red stood out strikingly against the dark of the ground and for a moment I was fascinated by the horrid beauty of the colours and the scene. The contrast of the blood and the ground painted the image of life and death contrasting but at the same time it painted the image of man and nature joining together.

I could hear Bella as she crouched beside me and I could feel her gaze, first on my face and then my hands. I could hear her arm rise and her jacket covered hand lay on my face as she began to wipe at the blood that was there. Her jacket covered hand then rested on my palm and she pressed down. I flinched but she didn't stop.

"Who should you have stopped Jasper?" Her sweet voice entered the air and I could feel the tears burn my eyes. I squeezed my eyes shut and willed them not to fall. I couldn't fall apart like this; I shouldn't have fallen apart like this. My issues were dead and in the past, Bella's was current, she didn't need to deal with my crap in addition to her own.

"Jasper?" Bella prompted. I looked at her prepared to lie or make up some crap but the look in her eyes broke me. Reflected back at me was nothing but love. She reminded me of my mother in that moment, my mother who loved all.

That got me.

I lost it.

I buried my head in Bella's shoulder and I began to cry. Her little arms wrapped around me, one on my shoulder, one of my head. She stroked my head softly and began to whisper things to me, then she stopped and started to sing.

"Hush little baby, don't say a word…."

My arms were around her waist and I tightened them as I succumbed to the pain inside.

"My dad, I should've stopped my dad. I should've protected my mother better. I should've fought to get the gun. I shouldn't have listened to him at all. I should've stayed and told her to go. I should've moved, that bullet should've hit me and not her. I should be dead, not her. It wasn't her fault"

"It wasn't your fault either"

The tears fell quicker.

"It is. It really is. I'm the one who found out about Lil. It was an accident. I couldn't find my phone and I thought I'd left it in my dad's study the day before. I stumbled on some pictures and letters and I put it together. I went straight to my mum and told her and then she confronted my dad. It nearly destroyed her. I should've confronted him first or I should have never said anything. Then my mum would be alive. It's my fault she's dead"

"You couldn't have known that this would happen Jasper" she said "Don't think like this, you will never know for sure what would have actually happened. Don't poison your thoughts this way"

"I can't help it" I looked up at her. She smiled at me and I could feel my heart ache. She placed her hands on my cheek and laid her head against mine. My eyes fluttered shut and I inhaled deeply.

Strawberries.

Her eyelashes brushed against mine and her lips were so close I could've kissed them.

"I know. I get it. I'm here though Jasper. I will always be here" she whispered.

And then I kissed her.

**Soooooo?**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

"What happened in the house Jasper?

"Nothing" I replied.

"Something obviously happened or you wouldn't have got as worked up as you did" I flinched as Bella rubbed the antiseptic over my bloodied knuckles.

I kept quiet as she continued to tend to my wounds. I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss.

"You should talk to her you know" I turned to face Bella but she wasn't looking at me.

"Talk to who?" I asked though the answer was clear.

"Rosalie"

"No I shouldn't"

"Yes you should. She's your family Jasper and she obviously wants to reconnect with you"

"At the moment, I don't feel like I want anything to do with her"

"But why?" Bella's face shot up suddenly and a look of horror entered her eyes. "Is it because of me? Because of everything that happened?"

I wanted to deny it but I couldn't help but admit that it was partially true.

"Jasper, no. I didn't want that" she leaned back having finished bandaging my hand. "I am so sorry, I should have kept my mouth shut and not said anything at all. That would have been better than it causing a rift between the two of you"

"Bella, it's not just that. There's other stuff too" she looked at me as though trying to determine whether I was lying for her benefit. Satisfied with her answer, she finished packing up the first aid kit.

"I'm still sorry for whatever part I played. You need to make it better. She's reached out to you. You said it yourself, you've always wanted a sister" I turned away from her again. "Don't lose the only one you'll ever have"

That was a low blow. But still, she was right. Lil was the only biological sibling I was ever going to have and I should make amends with her. Some of the things I was angry about were irrational, I figured that it was just old resentment I'd been harbouring and she was the perfect person for me to take it out on. I'll admit, in that moment I wanted to hurt Lil. I wanted to say the words out loud and destroy her. But I couldn't do that, not to her or to Carmen. They were as much victims in this whole thing as I was and as my mum had been. Carmen has done so much for me, she opened up her home and her family to me and I was disgusted that I could even begin to hurt them at all. I was a terrible person.

I flinched as a hand touched my face.

"Hey, no bad thoughts" Bella smiled sweetly at me. "You were angry, it happens. You're human Jasper and you will feel human emotions. Sometimes you'll get angry and sometimes you'll get sad. Don't hold it all in. I'm here for you just like you're here for me" she picked up my bandaged hands and kissed each one gently, I could barely feel it but my heart beat quickly increased. "Plus I don't think your poor hands could handle another assault like this" she joked.

I smiled and she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek.

"Let's go make amends"

I placed my hand on the wheel of the car and breathed in deeply. Then I began making the journey home, I wasn't entirely sure where I was but as Forks is pretty small, I quickly figured out where I was and was able to make my way home.

When we arrived, the extra cars in the driveway were gone leaving just Lil's and so I figured Carmen was still out.

As we approached the door, my palms began to sweat and my heart rate accelerated. I could feel the nervousness setting in. My hand stilled on the door and I contemplated running away, just for a few more hours. I couldn't face Lil. I was horrible to her. Sure she'd done things that didn't sit too well with me but she didn't do anything to _me. _She was my sister and she loved me and I knew she was trying to made amends. It was wrong of me to judge her for her past. I should be trying to help her instead I'm penalising her for it. It was also wrong of me to blame her for things that weren't her fault. Our dad is an asshole but that's not her fault.

"Hey" I felt Bella's hand on my arm and she shot me a reassuring smile. "It'll be okay". She then opened the door and I stepped in.

"Jasper!" Lil screamed. Then I felt her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. On instinct I supported her and walked her back to the living room where Emmett sat.

"Are you okay?" she asked touching my cheeks.

"Yeah I'm fine"

"I was so scared that something happened to you. You didn't answer your phone"

"I'm fine"

"Really?" I lowered her to the ground and placed my hands on her shoulders.

Her eyes widened.

"What happened to your hands?"

"Nothing, it's stupid"

"No, tell me. Please."

"I was angry and I was irrational and I lost it"

"I'm sorry-" she began.

"No, no. It's not your fault. It was mine. I'm fine though"

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, plus I had Bella to take care of me"

At that Lil noticed Bella standing in the background watching the scene unfold with concerned eyes. Lil stepped away from me and glanced back at Emmett. She then rushed towards Bella and pulled her into a hug.

She then began to cry.

"Thank you, thank you so much Bella for taking care of my brother. I will never, even begin to repay you for this. Thank you, thank you, thank you"

"It's okay. He's always taking care of me, it's about time I returned the favour" Bella replied jokingly.

"No. No. It's not just 'okay'. You didn't have to but you did. You were always selfless. Always." Lil's arms appeared to tighten around Bella prompting Bella to wrap her arms around Lil.

Bella started cry too.

"I'm sorry Bella, I'm so sorry" Lil choked out. "I don't even know where to begin"

"It's okay. It's fine" Bella whispered.

"No, no it's not okay Bella. It's not fine. You're my sister, I should've been there. I should've protected you from everyone. I should've spoken to you; I should have listened to you. I was hurting but you were hurting more. I'm so sorry Bella"

"That was the past" Bella hesitated "I don't care what happened, as long as I get you back"

"Forgive me" Lil begged.

"There's nothing to forgive"

Lil released Bella and grabbed her hands, holding them to her heart.

"I love you, I love you so much" Lil cried.

"I love you too, always"

I could hear movement from behind me and then I saw Emmett wrapping the girls in a hug.

"I've missed you so much Bells" he whispered. He kissed her forehead. "I can't even begin to say how happy I am"

"I've missed you too Em"

He picked her up and swung her around. Bella's laughter filled the room and I couldn't help the smile that engulfed my face. When Emmett put Bella down, Lil hugged her again.

I could hear a key in the door turning and Carmen came into sight. The bags in her hands dropped to the ground as her hands shot to face at the scene before her. Tears began to trail down her cheeks as she rushed to Lil and Bella before she, like Emmett, engulfed them in a hug.

I could hear her whisper "Thank God" before they had a little moment. I turned my eyes from them feeling as though I were invading something private.

"You have to stay for dinner" I hear Carmen saying to Bella.

"No, I can't"

"But why?"

"I couldn't intrude"

"Nonsense" Carmen said "You're family"

"I have to make Charlie dinner"

"You must stay for dinner, Charlie should come to" Carmen insists.

"Carmen-"

"Please" Carmen cut her off.

"Fine" Bella finally agreed.

"Great. I'll give Charlie a call now" and with that Carmen was off to the kitchen, her phone in hand.

"Let's go upstairs Bella. We've got catching up to do" Lil grabbed Bella's hand and led her upstairs.

"Hey man" Emmett said as I turned to face him "Thanks for this"

"For what?" I asked confused.

"For, you know, fixing things. Rose has been….different since everything happened. She's been down, like a light went out. She hated the way she handled things with Bella, she missed her so much but she felt stuck. When Alice would go off at Bella, Rose would always tell Alice that it was unnecessary but Alice, I love her and all, but she can be malicious and spiteful and downright nasty. She's also really persistent. So Rose would kind of go along with everything but her heart wasn't in it. I think the only reason why she didn't try harder with Bella is because she felt that bridge was burned. She'd tried to fix things before, but she always chickened out at the end" he choked up a bit. "I have missed having Bella in my life so much. Don't tell anyone but she's more of a sister to me than Alice. She gets me. It's sucked not being a part of her life. I've tried to kind of move on and help her when I can but it's always been secretive. Like her truck, it breaks down a lot, so I'd pick her up if I could and if people were being mean to her, I'd talk to them so they'd leave her but there was only so much I could do." he sighed "So much unnecessary shit happened. Things should not have gone down like that"

He stood up from his seat and patted me on the back. I was still taken aback from this sudden heart to heart.

"You are a God send Jasper. Let's go help Carmen with dinner"

So we went to the kitchen and did just that.

Dinner was nice, we had chicken breast stuffed with cheese and mushroom and wrapped with bacon. We had garlic prawns for our starter and brownies and ice cream for dessert. Carmen is an amazing cook, so Emmett and I didn't really have to do much except prepare the salad. As we brought out the food, Bella was laying the table and she whispered to me that Carmen taught her nearly everything she knew. When Charlie arrived a sense of completeness filled the room. The atmosphere was comfortable and not awkward like I had feared it'd be. It was great. I finally felt that I was part of the family.

I caught Lil's eye from across the table and smiled. She beamed back and went back to talking with Bella.

I loved my sister and I was falling ridiculously hard for her friend.

**So that ending was a bit meh….but I hope you enjoyed the rest of the chapter**


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